It’s not really off-limits but no one can really ‘cope’ with it and they feel much like you about my situation (i.e. they don’t want to talk about it). For me, it’s OK. It’s the way it’s always been. It’s like if you’re Chinese then you are Chinese. Don’t feel sad. I have had a very, very happy (mostly) and fulfilling life. I have had (and still have) some really good friends and really good experiences – and, for me, without the pressure and distractions of the ‘family’. I’ve been free in as much as any of us are free. I find it liberating.

I know it’s not how you (or, for that matter, most people) think and that’s OK too. I don’t ever propose my model of living as the way to live. It suits me but I know that it wouldn’t suit most people and it’s OK that most people don’t do what I do. I don’t think they are wrong. I just don’t really understand how they can do what they do, is all.

I appreciate your comments because I know you would find it difficult if you were my mother and I know you have a situation of your own. I hope that your daughter isn’t quite as pig-headed as I am and that it all works out for you.

With love