Comments on: The (stupid) games we play

By: Andy

Andy — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:53:11 +0000

Hi Valeria,

The trouble is a) knowing whether something is the truth or not and then b) deciding whether we like the truth. Not easy to pick and choose between wanting the truth but only when we like it (as the post above this one demonstrates) – and, therefore, sometimes nothing is better.

However, if I could choose one only, I would choose the truth every time – it only hurts for a bit and at least it is the truth!

By: Valeria

Valeria — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:29:12 +0000

Thanks for writing this post Andy.
Sometimes I stop (sometimes!) and think about the same things. What if we could say exactly what we think and feel? What if we could throw out everything?
Well, before we answer, we should try to imagine if someone else would do the same with us. Personally sometimes I get angry if the truth has been hidden from me; but for certain other things, I prefer to “live my tale” because I’m not really ready to fight with the truth (it’s a real fight sometimes, u know?!).
But, at the end of all above, I agree with Andy: I prefer the truth even when it hurts.

By: Andy

Andy — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:54:54 +0000

No, I didn’t say it was too long as it isn’t. You needed to say it all to explain and that’s fine.

By: Pietro

Pietro — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:43:26 +0000

I know, it was a long comment. too long, sorry…

By: Andy

Andy — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:17:30 +0000

Thanks for the advice, Cecilieaux. I never really thought that relationships that take hard work have something intrinsically wrong with them – but I guess that is true when you actually think about it.

By: Cecilieaux Bois de Murier

Cecilieaux Bois de Murier — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:58:28 +0000

After my marriage ended, I learned, through trial and error, that relationships that take hard work have something intrinsically wrong with them. One should not try to fit one’s square peg into that round hole.

After many fitful attempts with other people, in situations in which I worked to adapt myself to someone else, I decided I would not do anything I didn’t want to do. I now have a girlfriend of nearly two years who practically lives with me; being with her is as easy and devoid of abstruse forethought as breathing. She hates playing games.

You’re just out of a relationship. You probably have a fair amount of pain to go through until you realize that this person with whom you have shared, whom you think you should be able to share intimate thoughts with, is not going to work out no matter how hard you try and how eloquently you present the possibility. These are almost exactly the words about my situation that I used in a support group several years ago.

You’re going through a kind of “crazy time.” Be good to yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, experiment, let go painfully. And post what you want. If he can’t deal with it, well, what else is new?

By: Andy

Andy — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:23:34 +0000

Unless, of course, really we are all crazy and therefore we all seem quite sane to each other!

A long comment, Pietro. I don’t know but, overall, I prefer the truth, even if it does hurt.

By: Pietro

Pietro — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 17:20:25 +0000

Many times I was told “You said nothing”, meaning that I was silent. Sometimes “You speak too much”. Why? Because there are times when I have something to say and sometimes when I have, really, nothing to say and I am happy only because I am with someone.
But, as always, it is not easy to understand what is the right thing to do. Because each time it is different. Sometimes I prefer the truth, sometimes not. And I know that is a lie.
I do not write too much about my feelings (ok, I do not write at all about them) because it will expose me too much. I know that some of my friends read my blog, but I think that if I write how I really feel, the comments I’ll get (if any) would not be the ones I would like to receive. Because we all are different and the sensibility is different. Truth hurts, and anyway there could be misunderstanding, and it is not easy to explain the “whole paint”. What it is strange is that sometimes people that knows you less or superficially understands better, or gives you comments that help. But definetely, blogs are useful to express ourselves without talking to no one while we are alone in the middle of street…At least no one thinks we are crazy! Maybe…