There’s always secrets – I don’t kid myself about that. And I have no problem with him telling his friends that we met in a pub. I am happy to go along with it. And, I suppose, he doesn’t yet realise how I am in that, I have a hard time actually saying something that isn’t – I can nod when he says to someone, when they ask how we met, that we met in a bar – and, in the past, in front of his friends, that’s exactly what he does, even if the question is directed at me! This situation was different. But I think he saw it made me uncomfortable. I hope so. We have things to iron out, for sure. But, slowly, slowly.

I understand secrets known only to the two the secret is about and that together there is a ‘fake version’ for others. Clarity is important though and it is a very slippery slope if used beyond something REALLY private. Like with Skipp and I if people ask us how we met – we talk of the “second time” we met – since the first is loaded with inuendo we choose to not put out there.

Love you
Gail
peace…..

There are some things that I can accept like this (in fact, this is one of them) since it hurts no one really. It’s just that this takes getting used to again and I didn’t think anyone else did the same things – well, not quite the same.

As I’ve told him – he can say whatever he wants to as long as he tells me the truth and I think he does (I hope he does). Also, he cannot expect me to lie for him – but I need to explain that to him – unless there’s a really, really good reason and, again, it causes no harm.

Saying that we met in a pub is not really a problem except that I feel uncomfortable about it. Eventually, over the years, for people that knew V well, if they asked me later about something V had said but that didn’t actually happen I would say that it was the way he is. People got used to looking to me for the truth.

But I can’t change F in the same way that he can’t change me. It can work as long as we all know the rules.

I’m not perfect too and I sometimes change the reality of things but I usually”change” it when very important/private things are involved (certainly not vacations!).