On being not sure.

Of course, it’s all better today. In fact, it’s as if we have returned to several months ago.

And, this time it’s different. I have F to consider. And it’s his birthday today. So, not today then.

And I am tormented by the should I/shouldn’t I thing. As last time. But last time was different. I made the decision and wasn’t with F. It was more of a joint decision.

On the one hand, there is the fact that I am on holiday until the 9th. This means that I get several days with Dino before I have to leave him alone.

Also there is the fact that, should the same thing happen, for example, next week, it could be a whole day before I am able to clean up. And it would mean going to do it in the evening. Or taking time off work (which is not the problem – only that I would then have to go into work, leaving Dino alone) to go in the morning.

On the other hand – what if that were only a temporary thing? What if it doesn’t happen again for months? What if he keeps going until Easter? Until the weather gets warmer?

And now he seems more attached to F. And F doesn’t even want to think about it nor discuss it.

It makes my gut wrench.

It makes my heart bleed.

If only he hadn’t seemed much better this morning. No pees or poohs to clean up. Not even a pee until we got outside!

I have stopped giving him any medication and he seems even better.

Except, maybe, he isn’t eating. I’m not sure.

In fact, I’m not sure about anything.

Bugger!

6 thoughts on “On being not sure.

  1. I’m so sorry, Andrew. I went through all this two years ago and I know how much it hurts. You know what you have to do to let him suffer the less is possible, and F will understand. Give him a scratch behind his ears.

    • Thanks Pietro. I know you know. I know it’s the right thing after this afternoon and, so, tomorrow it is.
      Ah well, he’s had a good life and been very loved and you shouldn’t have a dog if you can’t do this bit, for sure.

  2. Oh Andy – when I saw your FaceBook post(s) yesterday I was so, so sad :-( . I went down stairs after and I told Skipp – he too was so saddened. He knows of Rufus and Dino and how they are friends w/Gracie and all – we so understand your challenge. I feel your pain and love and angst. sigh…
    Love Gail and hugs to both your dogs from us and Gracie-Blue
    Love Gail
    peace…..

    • Thanks Gail.

      After I wrote this post, it happened again, so I know it’s right and right now I am very determined that, tomorrow, we shall go.

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