I can’t tell you of a phrase that V has often used to describe how he finds talking to people so easy (and I don’t). I mean, I could tell you but, really, I won’t. Even now, I cannot betray him.

That’s what comes of 20 odd years together. I know far, far too much.

However, there seemed, what with the retreat and so-forth, to be a change in the air. For a moment, I was caught up in it and started to believe it. Of course, I am reluctant to move too far forward or too fast and I’m glad I didn’t for it is not true.

Well, it may be true to some extent, but nowhere near true enough for me.

He was saying last year that we were going to get married this year. I always kept quiet at this point, not wanting to burst his bubble in front of others. I keep quiet when he talks about the retreat. I’m not such a bastard but I do want to shout out that it’s all lies, lies, damned lies.

He was an actor (before I met him) and I think he must have been quite good.