When I was a kid, we used to write cards (birthday cards and the like) to grandparents, sisters, brothers, etc. Always it ended with ‘Lots of love X’. If you were really generous it would be even more ‘x’s.
I had always assumed, like one does, that everyone did this. Here, quite often, people end with ‘baci’.
More recently, I have stopped using baci but have been putting ‘x’. It seems that things are not (and it has taken me about 45 years to find this out) quite as I thought and that not everyone uses an x in place of baci.
Not only don’t they use it but they don’t recognise it! Who knew?
So last night, on the phone, I was asked why the ‘x’ and was it like a signature or something. So I explained and, in the process, learnt yet another thing that separates us from the Italians, culturally.
So, catching up with friends, as I was last night. Telling them of the guys and why I was dropping some of them and why others were working (maybe….early days yet). Now, I spoke to Best Mate the other night. Told her about the sweet guy. She was fine. Another friend was fine…..one friend was not….
It got me to thinking, this is my problem really. I put myself in situations that other people find hard to take. But, and here is where the real problem lies, it is my opinion that it is their problem and not mine. I don’t do the compromise very well.
And so, should I take up with the sweet guy, then I am sure to lose some friends along the way; people who remain ignorant; people who, because it does not seem to have touched them, still think of HIV as something that is a gay plague and that it is the fault of the person who has it and that it can be transferred just by touching, or something equally preposterous!
That’s a shame because, other than this one thing, they are nice people – but I know that I won’t compromise on it. And that bit is my problem too.
In the meantime, my date for tomorrow (Gordon) returned to Milan from a weekend away. He is feeling tired. Hmmm. This could be the prelude to bailing out for tomorrow night………shame because I found that I had missed our chats online. Still, it will all be for the best, whatever. Also, my piano player from Pavia is saying that Sunday will be difficult. Hmmm.
Still, I still have Varese on Friday night. And, tonight, hopefully I will see my friend A who I have not seen for a little while…..which will be nice.
Lots of dates, good for you. About the HIV stuff. Many are scared about the transmission. I remember that, once we discovered that my cat was HIV positive, the worry was about transmission to us, also because cats like to scratch people! The vet gave us the very best answer :”do you really think that with the many nice ways I could take it (= wild and rough sex with girls), I’d take the risk with cats?”. Obviously the blood is different and there’s no way of transmission. But it is true for all diseases: if you uses care, no risk at all. Finally, no one knows if someone has some disease, even good friends (they could ignore themselves!) and if one of my friend will cut his arms bleeding very much, I’ll help him anyway.
The same situation, and I know you know it, happens in Italy with gays. Many has the fear to have any kind of contact. Why? I do not know. I think that the first thing is the respect. Once I have it and I give it, one can be as he/she likes.
Unfortunately, I have seen that the “fear” applies also for some problems like depression or ansiety. I was told, sometimes, to go away to avoid to become depressed on my own. Obviously I did not. If I care about one (man or women is the same) I’ll stay anyway. Because I care.
So, if you think it is right, continue.
Thanks, Pietro. We shall see if it is right…….in any event, the guy really turns me on……….and, for me, that is something very important. In spite of what people may think, most guys don’t turn me on…..they have to be perfect. He is not perfect but, I don’t know, there’s something that he does to me…….
It’s the old story: it’s not nice what it is nice, but it’s nice what one likes (free translation of italian maxim).
That’s also why this evening I spent 40 minutes at the phone. Simply I cannot say “no”, especially if she’s really down with humor…Later today (itnow ‘s night, late…) you’ll see me sleepy…a drink after a meeting of politics was necessary!
I love the Italian maxim!
Ah, well, the story continues, then?
One drink or many….?
No, no, it does not continue. Just me listening to her, since now she’s digging in the bottom of her sorrow. I cannot do in different way…
Only one drink, we were 4 guys all worried about the 3 hours meeting with other 15 people…
Well, I admire you Pietro, you know that!
Only one drink………..hahahaha……….Italians – gotta luv em really!