Sighs and questions

We have the occasional deep sigh. I can’t imagine how much this is hurting by I am impotent.

I gain a little more information. The timescale is unknown. Now I don’t know if this measures weeks or months or, indeed, years.

But, maybe, neither does anyone else.

Sometimes, the lack of tactility and information surprises me for Italians. At times, his family seem more “English” than mine! Keeping everything hidden. He continues to make jokes as that is his way of coping. Although, last night, the joke was quite black and I had to force a laugh.

And then, unexpectedly, we have a deep sigh. And I feel terrible (although, I’m sure, not as terrible as he does.)

So, I wait for the next bit of information. And I have a lot of questions that I simply can’t ask.

We are, in fact, going down for Christmas. Except he needs to make it an unexceptional event (us going down for Christmas). So he needs to make an excuse. Apparently. So now I know that not everyone knows that he knows. And, I know that during this particularly “unfestive” period, he will make jokes and laugh and act as normal. And, so will everyone else.

And it will, indeed, be very weird.

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