I think it’s me

He sends me a text.  It has a smiley after the sentence as if everything is now OK.  Of course, this was the hurdle and I do understand but, still, its not done and dusted yet.  In three days the result although I shan’t see him until several days afterwards which is, if I am honest, more than a little annoying.

I don’t know what he wants.  He says, last night, by chat, before I went over (I went over because of this morning because he has to be home before an “important event”) that he had to go to his parents because he hadn’t seen them in six months.  I knew.  I have no problem.

Yes, I do.  Even as I write this, I get that clenching in the stomach.  It seems he just won’t let me in to certain parts of his life.  Or maybe its me with the problem?  Yes, probably, that’s it.  We are a couple and not a couple.  At least, as far as I am concerned.

5 thoughts on “I think it’s me

  1. Andy,
    based on what you’ve written so far you ARE a couple. You’ve been together for such a short period of time to fully understand all aspects of his personality!
    “Relax as it is”, as I writer I love claims. Enjoy every moment you’re with him, don’t over emphasize your fears. I can understand it’s annoying not to see him for several days but you’ll catch up with soon. Take it easy.
    :)

  2. Lola, I know, I know. But what I write here is definitely only the things in my head and not the things I say or show.

    And I DO enjoy every moment and I DON’T let on that there’s anything like this stuff going on in my head.

    Perhaps I should do a post on that to explain it better :-)

  3. Hi again-

    Doubts can be so paralyzing, stifling and overwhelming. I pray for your clarity of conviction and self assuredness in this relationship and in life – Perhaps what/who has left and/or abandoned is at the center of your doubts. If so, it is time to stop giving power to those memories.
    Love you
    Gail
    peace……

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