Flexible Plans

We learn more.

On Friday, F went to two doctors and got 2 second opinions. It seems that what had been said still holds true. I learn that a timescale could not be given and we could be talking 6 months or a year. Or less.

F is not looking forward to Christmas. However, we have agreed to do a tree as it is the plan to still have our New Year’s Eve dinner party and we want the flat to look festive.

The plan, so far, is that he will go down next Monday and I will follow on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day will be at a restaurant with his cousin, his uncle and some extended family. We could be about 20 people!

The day after, I may go to his mum and dad’s place, if PaC is OK with that. Otherwise I’ll go to his sister’s and he’ll go to his mum and dad’s on his own. Then the following day I’ll come home. Or, maybe, Boxing Day instead of going to his sister’s (the day after Christmas – called Santo Stefano, here.)

Then he will come back home on the 28th or 29th. Things may change, of course.

We went to FfI’s place last night. It was her friend’s, H, birthday. At some point, they all started talking about cancer and who was dead and who wasn’t. I badly wanted to tell them to shut up, but I couldn’t. How could I when he was there? But I felt for him even if he made no show of being affected. Then last night he didn’t sleep. It may have been because he ate too much or may have been because of the conversation. I don’t know.

In any case, it felt insensitive. Even if at least one, and maybe more, didn’t know about the situation.

And it crossed my mind, at some point over the weekend, that it will be difficult when wishing him a happy New Year, when it comes to it as, most likely, it won’t really be so good.

4 thoughts on “Flexible Plans

  1. Hi Andy – doctors? is “F” ok?
    Hope all your Christmas plans and gatherings are loving and joyous. We will gather here o Christmas Eve with m Sis and her boy, Dolan and Natalie, and us. A traditional Italian meal with foods we have prepared for years as did our Mom and grandparents before us. I love tradition. Christmas day we have Skipp’s traditional Jewish brunch – bagels, cream cheese, lox, salmon, smoked white fish, potato pancakes and sweet breads w/butter and jams. (you recall that Skipp was adopted, raised Jewish and is actually Blackfoot Indian and Swedish by birth) He is many things :-)
    I hope as you travel and visit that you feel loved and special.
    Love Gail

    • Well, there’ll be lots of love but I’m not sure about joy. But I’m sure we’ll do our best. F is a little bit a “head in the sand” person, so I’m sure it will be fine really. F is OK – as much as he can be but he tends to be quite “closed” so it’s not always easy to tell. I just remain quietly there in case he needs anything. Oh, I just realised – it’s not F that needs doctors! F is healthy, thanks.

      Your Christmas sounds wonderful, as always, Gail. Yes, i remember Skipp had a curious background (but interesting). Anyway, enjoy your time as I’m sure you will.

  2. I understand. On one side, F’d like to celebrate with you. On the other, the mind is elsewhere. It is not easy to sleep, but I’m sure F understands that you are there.

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