The honeymoon is over

Well, nearly.

I think he was a bit pissed off that I went to A’s place last night.  But, then, if he won’t give me some sort of plan, what does he expect?  I mean, I wait at home and don’t know – is he going to the new flat tonight or not?  If he goes to the flat then he won’t be at my house until after 10.

And so, last night, when he arrived about 11.30 he said that he wasn’t going to go to the new flat originally but because I was on my way to A’s he decided he would go.  If he had told me, before, like the day before, that he probably wouldn’t go then I wouldn’t have accepted to go to A’s place.  And, even if he had called me a few hours before I could have got out of it, having been to the dentist yesterday.

But, maybe it’s good that I’m not always available.  But, maybe I should tell him the whole story so that he knows to be a bit more planned with me.

So, he arrived last night and came straight to bed.  He said that, on Saturday, he would go and buy a piumino (duvet to us).  They only buy thin ones here since there are only a few months of real cold.  He added that once he had that then next week he can spend a couple of nights at his place.  He probably means ‘we’ but I shall check in any event.  I try not to be too invasive.

However, it’s interesting that he suggests only a ‘couple of’.  Again, last night, he wanted Dino to be lying on the floor at his side of the bed and was really happy when he was.  And we cuddled for a bit and I thought – ‘OK so as from Saturday night he doesn’t live here any more’ – but it’s not like I didn’t know it was coming and, in some strange way, he never really ‘lived’ at my place – even if he stayed every night.

And, although it seems like we have been in this situation for ever, it’s only been a very short time.  Next week it will have been 4 months since we first met.

A asked me last night if we had really ‘talked’.  I said we had.  He asked if F had told me all my faults.  I laughed and said I didn’t have any.  Later as we were curled up and about to go to sleep, I told F.  He said ‘Do you want the list?’.  It was a joke.  I replied that I was surprised there was anything but, yes, give me the list.  He refused saying that this was what being together was about and that there were always things as there would be for me, about him, but that we just live with them.

He said we would definitely go out for a meal on Saturday.  The other night we looked at the flights to the UK to go to D’s wedding in July.

The honeymoon is over and now starts the long haul to a place that is, as yet, is undefined, uncertain – a place that is shrouded with the mist of the future – there but without form or substance.

I wonder if what we both want is the same.  Yet he said, before we met that, we all want the same thing.  I hope that’s true.

7 thoughts on “The honeymoon is over

  1. Hi Andy-

    Well, ya……..relationships settle in to, become their own entity – and remember, things go and/or become what they will based on how it is directed. You both are the directors. Meanwhile, enjoy the unfolding and the contentment to follow as the love seeps further out to every aspect of your beings – it’s all good Andy, all good indeed.

    Love Gail
    peace…..

  2. @Cecilieaux @Lola,

    No, no, no. A is my Italian friend – as in A & F. There’s nothing except friendship (definitely). I’ve known him for about 3 years but he did turn out to be a good friend through all this and, particularly, through the Karl period.

    It’s V you’re thinking about and no, most definitely, I wouldn’t drop something like me going round there at a moment’s notice. And there’s nothing left between V & I (well, as far as I am concerned anyway) except, maybe, friendship – as long as V doesn’t fuck that up too!

    No, it just seemed like he expected me to be at home – where I always am. But, you know, I have friends that I don’t see so often now and, given that, except for Wednesday night, he has gone to the new flat every night, coming to me around 10 or later, I thought I would be on safe ground to accept A’s invitation for a few beers and a bite to eat and a chat, like we’ve always done.

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