I mentioned in the previous post about C. Now, those of you who read this blog will probably fall into one of five categories:

a) Friends (I know you, you know me and, I hope, can hear me saying the words I write, including, maybe, the tones and inflections that I would use)
b) Random strangers (If you got to this page and then you go, you’re one of them. If you haven’t got here but read some other page then you don’t know you’re one of them so it really doesn’t matter)
c) Strangers who are regular readers but I shall never meet you (you have another blog to which I link or you live in some place a long way from me or you’re just strange)
d) Those of you who come looking for Felicity Lowde (but you don’t land on this page anyway, so it doesn’t matter either). Edit: although now, as I look this morning, this may be the page you land on which will be more disappointing to you than the page you could have landed on.
e) C.

OK, so that’s totally unfair on C. V had mentioned that there was someone at work who reads this blog. I hadn’t really taken too much notice, to be honest. I mean many names are mentioned from work and some I’ve only met once or not at all.

I mean, it’s nice to know you have regular readers. It makes writing this drivel somehow more worthwhile.

But, we get to the wedding and C, who is very sweet, tells me that she reads the blog. This means that, given the fact that I am very, very forgetful (it’s an age thing; maybe more about that tomorrow), she knows more about us/me than I do!

This throws me into a state of mild panic. Many questions rush through my head:

What can I say to someone that already knows me?
Will I have said something which, inadvertently offends her and how can I retract it?
As she already knows everything about me will I be a real bore in the flesh?
Is this what it’s like to be a famous writer or something?

And, most importantly:-

Will she be like Kathy Bates in Misery?

I stand there, unable to say anything that is remotely coherent. She probably thinks I’m a fool. This IS what it’s like for “D”-List celebrities, I suppose. I mean they have a fan base but by opening their mouths they take the risk of alienating their one and only fan forever.

I mouth something inexplicable (or at least immemorial).

I can see in her eyes that I am a big disappointment. I drink more alcohol.

Later she mentions one of the posts. I freeze. I try to remember the post.

What did I say? Did it make sense? Will I say the same thing or will I say something that contradicts it?

I remember, vaguely, and mutter something to which she laughs. Phew, I seem to pass the test.

Later again, she mentions that she liked my post about Wallace v Buzz Lightyear. I am flattered.

But, it leaves me with a strange feeling. When I talk to S or any of my old friends, it’s OK because when writing this, I was talking to them anyway. But with new people I like to take time. And the blog doesn’t really give me any time to get to know them first.

Hmm. Maybe I should shut this one and open a secret blog?