1 Englishman, 1 American and 2 Italians in a pub.

There’s an Englishman, American, two Italians and two dogs, sitting in a bar ………

Sounds like the start of a good joke, doesn’t it?

OK then, let’s continue …..

The humans are talking about this and that, having a few drinks. It’s a pleasant evening, quite warm and, whilst not exactly outside, they are in a semi-covered area, stuck in a corner. It was the only place available. They are sittiing around a small, round table.

They haven’t seen each other for a while and it’s good to chat.

Suddenly, and without warning, there is this awful, retch-inducing smell.

The Englishman, being English, says nothing but pretends that nothing is happening.

The Italians, being ‘out’ say nothing and pretend that nothing is happening.

The American, having lived in Europe long enough, politely says nothing and pretends that nothing is happening.

The dogs, being non-human, say nothing.

The position in the bar means that there is no escape. And, to move would be to ‘know’ and no one wants that, do they?

Two, three or maybe four times this happens.

Each time it seems worse than the last.

Eventually, everyone leaves to go home.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

“It was Piero,” says F, as we are walking home. And I agree.

We had brought the dogs with us as our friends wanted to see the puppy, even if he is 5 months old and quite large now.

I mean, you get this problem with oldeer dogs. Occasionally, Dino ‘drops one’. But for such a young puppy – but it’s true and I agree. That night, when they were in separate rooms, it comes again and confirms it’s Piero.

Bloody dog! I haven’t even changed his food!

In any event, it wasn’t a joke at all. But what were we to do?

4 thoughts on “1 Englishman, 1 American and 2 Italians in a pub.

  1. Hi Andy – great story. When Gracie ws younger her ‘smells’ were just horrid – one could not ignore it or stay silent in its ‘wake’. I was imagining all your faces, trying not so scrunch up your noses – hysterical. :-)
    Love Gail
    peace….

  2. Funny!
    One of my cats, the older one, sometimes drop one, completely silent. Sometimes it happens also when he jumps to come on my lap, because he wants hugs or caresses. His face does not show any movement, like he does not feel the smell he produced.
    What can we do? Nothing, it is not their fault.
    And, when they look at us with their wide opened eyes, we forget everything.
    They are our pets, and I’m happy to have him and the other one and, when he was still alive, Argo.
    It may be embarassing, but we always laugh when it happens: such a small creature creating such a big “chemical weapon”!

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