Difficult, 14 and gay? Don’t let the story get in the way of the headline.

Yesterday evening, I spent a few hours with the lovely Lola and, at one point we were discussing how misogynous Italy is and lamenting that Italy hadn’t really entered the 21st Century.

Talking of which, there was an “interesting”* conversation at lunchtime between some male colleagues that went something like this:

Colleague A: I took my daughter to volleyball practice
Colleague B: And I imagine you enjoyed watching all the girls
Colleague A: But they’re only 13 so not really. It would be different if they were 18.

OK, really, it wasn’t said like this but near enough. All I could think was – but they are the same age as your daughter! So this is almost like incestuous desire!!!!!

And, here’s another thing that makes Italy just a little bit “backward”.

Of course, if you read it carefully, it does seem like the foster parents were trying (and not quite as the headline suggests, packing him off as soon as they knew) and only “gave up” because a) it became very difficult and b) everyone “asked” them why they were bothering.

I would like more background on this story. I’m wondering if the real problem is not that he was gay, per se, but, rather that life with a 14-year-old was too difficult or whether peer pressure played a part. Let’s be honest here, a 14-year-old is quite a handful. A troubled 14-year-old, more so!

Or, even, if they were being “bullied” by other parents?

In any event, my heart goes out to the kid who has obviously not had it easy whichever way you put it. I know what it’s like to be certain of your sexuality at that age. The difference is that I never told anyone and kept that secret for almost another 5 years!

* And, by interesting I mean disgusting

facebooktwittergoogle_plusredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather

4 thoughts on “Difficult, 14 and gay? Don’t let the story get in the way of the headline.

  1. Well, you are lovely :-)

    “I’m wondering if the real problem is not that he was gay, per se, but, rather that life with a 14-year-old was too difficult or whether peer pressure played a part. ”

    Being Italian, I think that the real problem is that he was gay. Ignorant parents who shouldn’t have kids!

    • LOL – so are you :-)

      Yes, I would normally say the same, except because of their quoted remarks. I mean, they seemed to know about his being gay.

      Still, as I said, I’d like to know more about it before making a real judgement.

  2. I’m guessing it was peer pressure – they live in a ‘small unidentified town’, therefore everyone knows everyone else’s business (even before they do, sometimes).

    Knowing & admitting you’re gay at 14 is a brave thing to do. Keeping it a secret
    is probably even more so.

    • Yes, me too. i think it was peer pressure and, maybe, that the kid had other problems (other than being gay, I mean).

      Oh I think admitting it is braver. Keeping it a secret is quite easy (although torture inside, of course) – especially if, like me, you had lots of girlfriends (I was, I now realise, a very attractive kid). Coming out is an incredibly hard thing to do or was, in those days. Now I’m not sure although I think it’s still hard here (since we seem to be stuck in some long-gone period like the 50s!)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>