Tag Archives: F Says…..

Very spoilt

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I laughed as I walked into the flat.

Balloons filled the ceiling in the lounge and the hallway.

A “Happy Birthday” banner stretched across the hallway.

A “Dog” balloon hung from the window in the kitchen.

On the dining room table were the presents.

I added my solitary one to the pile.

The next evening was the ‘party’.

He had bought minced meat that morning. Not the crap stuff – the minced steak.

He moulded it into a round and carefully placed small dog biscuits round the side. There were three colours so they had to be arranged one colour after another. On top went a candle in the shape of a four.

The presents were opened and included a special activity toy where you hide treats and get the dog to do things to get the treat. Like an activity toy for babies. But, to him, he is a baby. He’s his baby. And, of course, like any parent, his baby is very intelligent. The picture on the box shows a Border Collie, of course, not a Bearded Collie.

The cake went down very well although he could hardly wait until the candle was blown out to eat it. He eats ‘nicely’ but still managed to wolf it down in a few moments.

He is a very spoilt dog, as I often say.

Er, Happy birthday, I suppose.

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Saturday sees a very important birthday.

Apparently.

I am told.

There will be presents. There will be cake.

Apparently.

He is more excited about this birthday than about his own.

For it is the birthday of Dino.

Apparently, even if he has more toys than are needed for a hundred dogs, there must be more toys.

So, he said to me the other evening, “We shall eat at home on Saturday night, so as to spend more time with the bambino”

Since then, I have been thinking about what to do. As you know, cooking for F is not easy as he won’t eat meat (unless it is minced).

Last night he told me that he has bought everything for us to eat on Saturday night.

“Why did you do that?”, I asked.

“Because you always cook”, came the reply.

Except I don’t – as I told him. In fact, I almost never cook these days.

Anyway, I looked on the internet (one must get into the spirit of these things – at least a little bit) for a recipe for a ‘dog’s cake’ and, perhaps unsurprisingly, I found one. It contains bananas. I never knew that bananas were OK for dogs. You learn something every day.

I will also have to buy something – but I know exactly what I shall buy – if I can find it.

And so, Saturday we shall be celebrating a birthday like no other before now.

Apparently.

Never going back (unfortunately).

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Walk down any High Street in the UK and, more or less, you could be walking down any High Street in any UK city.

What’s wrong with that?

Positively, it means that, wherever you go in the UK, you can be sure there will be the same shops. It means that, if you buy something in, say, Nottingham, it’s more than likely you can buy the same thing in Exeter. This is a good thing, right?

Well, yes, of course. And also no.

The High Street is filled with the same shops everywhere. Individual shops, local to a town or small region have all but disappeared. It means that economies of scale can apply – the big shops buy larger amounts so can get better prices which, hopefully, they pass on to the consumer.

I remember when we first came here. I was shocked but delighted to see shops that weren’t the same in every town. How refreshing it was to find a small, independent jewellers, a stationary shop that had something different or unusual, etc? It was a little like when we went to live in North West Herefordshire and went shopping in Kington.

It’s a treasure that one should guard lovingly. Of course, in every major town there are streets full of High Street names, but mixed with them and in many side streets off them are the small shops. Let’s take cake shops as an example. Go to the UK and there’s Greggs. Probably there are some others but Greggs comes to mind. Greggs is in every town. Everything is ‘freshly made’. Everything is ‘the same’. You go to Greggs because you know what you’re going to get.

Here it’s not like that. Each cake shop (maybe with a café as well) produces their own stuff. Cakes are different. Some cakes you won’t get anywhere else. There’s a risk, of course, that you won’t like what they’ve made. There’s also the risk that it will be a unique experience and will be the most divine thing you’ve ever tasted – like my local cake shop does zeppole. However, I am informed (by F) that these are not quite the same as normal zeppole. They are not deep fried (as is common) but baked. They have ones filled with custard and ones filled with cream. If we choose them, we usually have one of each.

The UK used to be more like this but then it all changed. Competition was everything and, gradually, for convenience and, originally, price, we chose to use the big supermarkets and the national bakers, etc. And, so, the result is a High Street that is homogeneous and, to be frank, boring as hell.

And now Italy is going down the same road. People here don’t realise what it will mean. It means that the small shops will close. It means that all towns will look the same. We will have to buy what everyone else buys because there will, in the end, be less choice – well, less real choice.

Of course, it’s being sold as ‘opening up the markets’ and the arguments are made that everyone will benefit. But, in reality it will mean that big business gets to own the market and the benefit will be, in a word, ‘grey’ – i.e., the same things sold everywhere.

I find that I can’t put into words what this change really means. But I’m not sure that the free market is actually worth the loss of what Italy has now (and what the UK HAD about 30 or more years ago).

Sure, it would be nice to buy aspirin and stuff at the supermarket. It would be nice that shops were always open. But that ‘nice’ is tempered by the fact that, as a result of allowing this to happen, we shall lose something that is most precious.

It’s not that I don’t want change or that change is bad. It’s not that I even like the rules and regulations here. It’s more that I don’t want to see, here, what happened to the UK. Nothing is perfect but I am fearful that Italy’s ‘localisation’ will be lost forever and it’s something I would not like to see.

After all, once the small places are gone, they are gone forever – there’s no going back.

Joni sang all that needs to be said:


(Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi)

I’m coming to you

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The bed is made with fresh sheets. She did that before she left.

The place is empty – I mean, no one is living there. It’s free.

So, now it’s a choice.

I answer the call. “I’ve been out for an aperitivo and now I’m coming to you”. But, he doesn’t have to. There are a number of options available. It’s been more than a month now since last he slept in his own home. I was ready for the “I’m going to stay at mine tonight” and ready to give the option of “We could come and stay at yours”. But, it seems there was no reason to be ready.

Of course, I say nothing. I mean to say, I don’t point it out. Nor do I give the suggestion that we can go to his place.

In a weird way, I would quite like a ‘night off’ – but, then, we have that when he goes abroad (or when I did for the party). Then again, I’m not desperate for a night without him. And I like the fact that he’s there, for sure.

But, obviously, we don’t live together ;-)

Our rooms are just a little apart.

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Did I tell you that he’d as good as moved in?

Except, it’s not that much different really.

A colleague/friend, who is here for temporary work, has his flat. He goes there to shower sometimes and also to take clean clothes and do washing and stuff. He arrives at my place, more or less, at the usual time. He is covering for another colleague so is working more (including some Saturdays and every Sunday) and, so, it is the same.

Of course, now that Rufus is no longer with us, we could, in theory, spend more time at his place. At least until the puppy arrives. I wonder if we will, when the colleague/friend leaves in the middle of February?

Someone asked me the other day, “When will you guys move in together?”.

As I explained, it really is up to him. A friend of his is moving out of her flat. It is a nice flat and would be big enough for the four of us. The other night when we were out with An, she was talking about, maybe, sharing a flat with someone. It moved to how difficult sharing was – you have to really gel with the person to be able to do this – unless you are a couple, when it is a different thing.

He then mentioned the flat of his friend. He likes the flat, as do I. He said that he could fit all his CDs in the hallway – which he could.

I pointed out that the only problem was the bathroom – which is very small, has no bath (which he likes to use) and has no window.

But it would be big enough for us to spread out a bit. We could safely be in different parts of the house and not even hear each other.

Sometimes, I wonder how long it will be before we move in together. Mostly I don’t, as we already do, our separate rooms are just a few street apart, that’s all :-D

The Jewelry Box

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I didn’t really know what to expect.

In the end it’s like quite a pretty jewelry box. Blue, marble effect. With a gold coloured clasp on the front.

He tells me it’s sealed but we can break the seal if we want. It’s sealed because that is the law. On the back it has the name. And the name of the company. Inside, he tells me, is a plastic bag.

It’s not what I was expecting. It’s neither a ceramic urn nor some sort of plastic container – either of which would have made more sense to me.

We are, apparently, going to put a photo of him on the box. F will do that, being as he’s ‘visual’.

It sits, at the moment, on the coffee table in the lounge. For some strange reason, I felt it had to be in a ‘place’ not just shoved in a corner. So it sits, on it’s own, apart from the table lamp, on the table. I’m not really sure what to do with it, to be honest.

So, it sits there.

F will be back tomorrow. Maybe he will want to put it somewhere else?

Some final thoughts

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Thanks guys for the thoughts and comments about Rufus. I’m afraid I couldn’t really reply yesterday.

There are moments when, unexpectedly, I think of something and it brings a lump to my throat. It can be any time. Like when I was driving to work this morning.

It’s like the lack of sound. There isn’t any ‘click, click, click, click’ any more. The flat is more silent. His nails were long (they have been cut several times in the past) and so we culd even be woken up by the clickety click of him walking around.

F did a montage of pictures yesterday. And a short video I hadn’t seen. We had gone for a drink and taken Dino with us and, when we arrived home we viewed the pictures and the video. It made me cry. Great big tears. Which started F off too.

Everyone has been, of course, very kind.

F is going to do some sort of sign for the urn. Bless him.

For Christmas, F gave me a snow globe with pictures of the dogs inside. It was when they were playing out at the front of the flat we stayed in on holiday. Rufus enjoyed that holiday, for sure. And I am happy that he enjoyed that holiday. We all enjoyed that holiday.

But I think F has come round to the idea of a new puppy. “Can we get one that has the same colour eyes as Dino?”, he asked me. I explained it was unlikely since, for a grey Beardie, his eyes are a green/blue colour – most unusual. To be honest, I don’t think it would matter much.

He may have gone now but he remains with us.

I’m concentrating on practical stuff.

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Everything’s kinda a bit fluid right now.

Having made the ‘decision’ and then being unsure, yesterday afternoon made the decision definite. In the end, I broached the subject with F. He asked what we would do with the body. I said I would leave it with the vet. He said no, we should have the ashes because Rufus needs a tome. Well, when he said it it sounded like tome but in fact he meant tomb, of course. Still, it made me smile – inwardly since smiling outwardly would have been very incorrect – and neither did I, on this occasion, correct his pronunciation.

But, in fact, he doesn’t mean tomb either. I’m pretty sure that what he wants is an urn with the ashes. It’s a concession I’m OK with.

He also told me that, when it comes time for Dino, I am not to tell him at all but just do it. Of course, Dino, he wants stuffed! Anyway, that’s 10 years away so who knows?

We are in Italy.

I woke up about 4 a.m. and couldn’t sleep. I got up and researched pet cremation in Italy. Surprisingly enough, it’s not that difficult. I found two places almost immediately. They collect, do their thing and return the ashes to you.

So, this morning, after I had taken them for a walk, I went to the vet. I had questions. Do they do a cremation and return ashes service? How much does it cost? If not or it’s too expensive, can they keep the animal while the other service comes to collect? How much does that cost?

Yes, they can do it but it’s very expensive – €400. No, they couldn’t keep it but they would give it back for me (to carry home – which is not ideal – dead animals always seem heavier, somehow). Just to do the putting down would cost €100.

I come back home and check out the services I had found last night. Yes, one of them costs €200 (plus €20 for delivery of the urn). They need 12 hours notice for collection.

So, the end result was €400 or €320 (with me carrying him home). I’m going with the first. F said he would pay but I won’t let him.

Oh, yes, and they can only do it on Monday. So, I will have to take a day off work. Ah well, it has to be.

I am so much more tolerant with Rufus now. He’s been getting treats. I let him off the lead in the dog areas and he’s allowed to eat kakka if he wants (it makes no difference now), we walk always at his pace (except when crossing roads if I can’t help it). He is getting lots of patting and stroking. He has been a wonderful dog. But he stays very close now. I think he has had enough, if you see what I mean.

But, is it wrong of me, I am looking forward to getting a new puppy sometime in the near future? I say it’s for Dino, of course. But, I think, secretly, it’s for me too. And, maybe, it’s also a way to look beyond Monday? Yes, I think it’s that.

The vet doesn’t think it’s a good idea to bring Dino too. However, I think I will. I want Dino to understand that Rufus is not coming home. Otherwise, he will always look for him. Like he looks for F.

I’ve emailed V and I’ll do it again. But I’m not expecting any response. It’s OK.

And we get to spend the weekend with Rufus.

In other news, yesterday, I finally got keys to F’s flat. This is a) just in case he loses or forgets his and b) in case he needs me to go there for something if he is away. And, I guess, because he loves me. From Monday, someone is coming to stay at his flat so he will be staying with me – for a month or so. In reality, of course, it makes no difference since he does, more or less, stay here all the time anyway. Still, it’s good that he is, although I’m possibly not as excited about those two things as I would have normally been but I think you can understand.

Wonderful time and fantastic surprises.

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Well, I suppose I’d better start by wishing my faithful readers a glorious and happy 2012. And to say sorry for not posting over the festive period.

Christmas was, as expected, wonderful, even if I did wake on Christmas morning with what seemed like ‘flu. I ignored it. I felt much better by Wednesday.

So the highlights were:

The best present I got from F was not the vaporetto (steam cleaner) that F was so delighted with giving me but the snow globe with the pictures of the dogs inside. Don’t get me wrong, the vaporetto is wonderful but I think that if I tell you that F’s excited question (as if a small boy with a new toy) later on Christmas Day of ‘Shall we use the vaporetto now?’ you will agree that nothing more needs to be said.

V’s Dad phoned me on Christmas Day. It was such a nice surprise and I was speechless. They never phone. They hardly ever phoned when V and I were together and so it was such a wonderful ‘present’. His Mum phoned on New Year’s Day to wish me Happy New Year. So nice of them.

On Christmas Day we cooked together most of the morning and ate together most of the afternoon. I couldn’t have wished for anything better (well, I suppose I could have wished for no ‘flu – but I’m not complaining). We opened presents, we had fun.

Of course, not everything was perfect over the period. I learnt that he really doesn’t have patience and also that he really doesn’t like the fact that I won’t argue with him – but really! A light in the bathroom, overcooked lentils, not being able to fit the roasting net over the cotechino, not being perfectly ready in time for our New Year’s Eve guests – none of these things are actually important things. Well, not to me, anyway. The light in the bathroom deserves it’s own post. Oh yes, and in addition to the lack of patience and me not arguing, one could add that he doesn’t listen to me – but then, that’s not really new :-)

I know that, for a lot of people, they are glad to see the back of 2011 but not me. It was a wonderful year and one of the happiest I’ve ever had. I hope that 2012 will be the same both for me and for all you out there.

And, whatever else there may be, we will have candlelight.

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You’ve probably gathered from my posts that this year, this Christmas, is very different from the others. Among other things, although I will be doing some shopping on Christmas Eve, I have already done quite a bit.

Apart from the fact that I’ve certainly got the ‘Christmas spirit’, F has definitely got it. And that is making this period even better for me.

“I need candlesticks”, he said a few days ago.

“I have some”, I replied.

“No, not those. I need some short ones. And some candles”

I didn’t argue even if I have candles too. When he has an idea about how he wants something to be, it’s best to let him get on with it.

And so, last night, he came with bags. Bags of candlesticks and candles. Apparently, there will be a LOT of candles at Christmas.

We start with candlesticks. He showed me. It was a simple, couple-of-inches, glass candlestick. I liked it.

“I’ve got six of these”, he adds. And a ton of candles.

I’m not entirely sure of his idea but I think all six will be used.

And, he informed me, he had invited a couple round for New Year. And we invited another couple a couple of days ago. If everyone comes, it will be quite busy but neither of us expect that.

But, at least we’ll have candles everywhere!