Author Archives: Andy

How do you KNOW you don’t like it?

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“I think I’ve had this before”, he says, adding “and I don’t like it”.

It was very difficult to keep the disappointment out of my voice …. but I tried.

“Well”, I said, “try a little and, if you don’t like it, it’s OK, you don’t have to eat it”.

I had whipped up the cream. The cream was really for me rather than him. “You don’t like cream”, I realised this as I got it out of the fridge. Damn! I should have done custard. Ah, well, I thought, if he doesn’t like it anyway then it’s better I did cream.

I put a couple of spoonfuls of the sweet in the dish and added a little cream after he indicated it was OK to do so.

He tried it. It wasn’t the same as he had had before. He said he liked it. Then got some more from the dish. And some more cream. He asked about the topping. I explained that it was pastry, like for Lemon Meringue Pie but more butter and more sugar and without water so that it was crumbs rather than pastry as such. I tried not to be annoyed by the fact that he says he doesn’t like something before he has tried it first but I don’t say anything about that anyway. It took me a few years to train V away from that. I have time. I can train F, possibly, probably, hopefully. I am hoping, much like I did with V, that I can introduce things gradually and get him to trust that what I make is all right and worth trying. I’m not sure I have the patience for this but we’ll give it a go.

I said you can make it with any fruit.

He really did like it, it seems. I told him that he must tell me the truth because, if he says he likes something, I will do it again. He said he will.

I told him it was, to my memory, the first time I had made it. Although, to be honest, even if I can’t remember it, I am sure I must have made it in the past. Maybe Rhubarb Crumble and not Blackberry and Blueberry Crumble.

The next day, he texts me to ask what it was called because he doesn’t remember. Later that night I asked him why he had needed to know. Apparently, there was a guy there from the office in London and he wanted to tell him.

I see, in his fridge, there is a jar of Lemon Curd in the door.

“You can make Lemon Curd Tart”, I said, meaning I could make Lemon Curd Tart, of course. Later, he says I can take it home together with the Banana Curd he bought at the same time, when we were in Hay-on-Wye.

“You can make that cake with it” (meaning Crumble”), he says. I say yes, even if he has, clearly, not understood how Crumble works and that a Banana Curd Crumble just would not be right at all. Ah, well.

Just updating old posts is all

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Sorry for no new posts.

I discovered that all my photographs had disappeared from the old posts when I brought the database over from the old hoster – and some of the symbols (-, “, ©, etc.) had morphed into a strange selection of symbols.

So, I am updating and putting the pictures back.

A side effect of this is that, as I re-post an old post, if there is a link to another of my pages, it is showing up as a new ping-back!

I’m hoping that it won’t take too long to do but we shall see. Please bear with me :-)

Lemon Meringue Pie

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talians love this. This is a true Lemon Meringue Pie. Better than any I have ever tasted anywhere else (even if I do say so myself) . Taken from one of my most trusted recipe books – the Hamlyn All Colour Cook Book – my first cookery book, about 30-years-old, very well used, stained with old ingredients, the cover ripped and eaten by one of my dogs, years ago, it remains one of the best books I ever had. Here goes:

For the pastry case
6 oz plain flour   – 170g farina tipo 00
4 oz butter – 113g burro
1 egg yolk   – 1 tuorlo d’uovo
3/4 oz cater sugar   – 21g zefiro
2 teaspoons water – 2 cucchiani di aqua

For the lemon filling
2 large lemons   – 2 limone grande
1 1/2 oz cornflour   – 42g maizena
1/2 pint water – 275ml aqua
2 egg yolks   – 2 tuorli d’uovo
3 oz caster sugar   – 85g zefiro

For the meringue topping
3 egg whites   – 3 albumi d’uovo
5 oz caster sugar   – 142g zefiro

Sieve the flour into bowl. Cut the cold butter into small cubes into the flour. Rub the butter and flour together with your fingertips as quickly as possible until the result is like breadcrumbs. Add the caster sugar and mix well. Add the egg yolk and mix well. Mix in the water (I do all this with a knife until this point) and then bring together to form the pastry.

Use an 8″ (20cm) flan ring placed on baking sheet or one of those cake tins with the removable base (which is what I use). Rub a little butter over it. Roll out the pastry. The pastry is VERY short and will, probably fall to pieces easily. Don’t worry too much. Try to line the ring in one go, patching up the holes and gaps with any left over pastry. It will be fine when it’s all cooked. The important thing is to try and create a sealed pie base.

Prick the base all over with a fork and put it in the fridge for about 20 mins.

Now crumple up some greaseproof paper and open to fill the pie base. The point here is to stop the sides from falling in when you are cooking it as the pastry is very, very soft. Fill the paper with baking beans (I use dried peas or beans) – this is to weigh the paper down and so the base does not lift. Bake in a hot oven (400°F, 200°C or Gas Mark 6) for about 15 minutes. Remove paper and baking beans and allow to cool.

Grate the lemon rind. Try only to grate the yellow skin without the white pith. I use a cheese grater and use the smallest holes. This creates a fine breadcrumb-type of rind. Squeeze the juice from the lemons and add this to the rind in a bowl. Add the cornflour and two tablespoons (cucchiai) of the water. Mix well until it is smooth (no lumps). Boil the remaining water in a largish pan. Pour onto cornflour mix and mix well. Return to the pan, bring to the boil and simmer for 3 minutes, stirring all the time. It won’t look really attractive as the cornflour makes it gloopy. It will be quite thick but when it gets cold it will set, more or less. Remove from the heat and add the egg yolks and sugar and mix in well. Let it cool a little and then pour into the flan case.

Whisk the egg whites (using a mixer, if I were you – to do this by hand is too long and difficult) until they form soft peaks when you take out the whisk. Then, add the caster sugar a teaspoon at a time, whisking well after each addition. I leave the food mixer going whilst adding the sugar. Spoon out the meringue over the lemon filling. Try to make sure that the lemon filling is completely covered. Use the back of the spoon to make the top like waves on the sea.

If you have used a flan ring then, for me, it is better to take the ring off now. The danger is that part of the sides will collapse. Using the cake tin with the extendible ring, as I do, means that you can leave it on and then open it and take it off after baking – much more satisfactory.

Put into a moderate oven (350°F, 180°C or Gas Mark 4) for 15 mins. The peaks of the meringue should be slightly brown. Allow to cool.

Serve in slices. The pastry is sweet and soft and crumbly (and I use this pastry for nearly everything that is a sweet), the lemon filling should be firm and slightly sharp tasting and the meringue will be soft and sweet. It has the sharp and sweet taste that the British always love. The lemon taste is very strong but the sweetness of the base and meringue topping make it a divine finish to a meal. Enjoy!

Finding the joy again

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The weather is dreadful. Well, I say that. It is October, after all but it’s grey, wet and miserable and cold. The heating (where there is central heating for the whole building) has been turned on – except, not in my building! It only gets turned on Monday :-(.

F is still ill. The ‘cold’ he picked up in London is not going away. Added to which, he has a bad stomach (most of the time) and got pains in his lungs or some muscles near his lungs and so he is a bit worried. Then, this morning, he coughed on his way back home – and put his back out! Still, I learnt that the Italian for cough is ‘colpo di tosse’ – who would know? I also learnt that the Italian for ‘heater’, such as the one I have running almost full-time now, is stufetta. I won’t remember them but two new words/phrases in a day is quite good.

Since the success of last weekend’s meal and the fact that, given the evidence, F actually really liked it (this is supported by a) his telling of the meal to everyone in his office (his boss, who is English, was craving for the Lemon Meringue Pie) and b) his telling S’s parents that I cook really well) I seem to have found my joy of cooking again.

And, so, this weekend, I tried Leek and Potato Soup. It seems OK. I’ve finished it and now there is enough to feed the whole of Milan! Unfortunately, with F having a bad stomach, we didn’t have any last night. Nor the crumble that I haven’t made yet, but have all the ingredients for. But there is a certain pleasure in, not only making the stuff, but actually going out and buying the ingredients! This part was very unexpected but I find that trying to find the ingredients almost as much fun as cooking with them! Weird, huh?

And with that, I will now start my recipe pages to which I will add photos (with my new camera) as I do them. For the first recipe I will put up Lemon Meringue Pie. I have now photo now but will add one next time I make it. I will put the recipes on a page of their own so you and I (on the right hand side) can link to them, as we like. I hope you enjoy them.

Serious training required

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“I want a new baby”, he says. He is slightly drunk. I love him when he’s drunk. He’s more affectionate and also quite funny.

“You mean a puppy?”, I ask.

It seems ‘yes’. “We shall have to talk about the training first”, I state.

Of course, I don’t mean the puppy training. The puppy training is not a problem. I mean the ‘F training’. Of course, I don’t actually specify that. He thinks it’s the puppy training. There will also have to be less of the ‘can you take them out tonight’ or ‘do you mind if I don’t come’ lines. However, one thing at a time. And, anyway, it’s not happening before Rufus goes. Three, as I found out one time, are just so much more work.

We had been out with the ex-parents-in-law to al Grigliaro, a predominately fish restaurant, not far from our flats. F knew it because, when they are busy with the showroom sales and working till late in the evening, they sometimes go there as a group.

And, the staff know F, which is always a good thing as we get a much better service and, usually, a discount off the bill.

I asked him, as we were walking down to it, why he had changed his mind about me coming, since it was a complete about-turn and I was interested as to why the change of mind.

“I rang S”, he says, adding “and he said ‘of course you should take Andy'”. And, so, here we were walking down to another restaurant I hadn’t tried before.

It is another Sardinian restaurant but nothing like the same as Baia Chia. For one thing, this is not as ‘rustic’ as Baia Chia. There is more room and many more tables. It is also more expensive. We wait outside for M and S. They are from the Manchester area. I have my expectations of what they will look like and what they will be like. They are, of course, not really anything like I expected.

They are very nice, middle-class, people from the North. They know, of course, that we are not just ‘friends’ as F had said. But, then, S is their son and, no doubt told them that F had a new boyfriend. But, later, when F and I went out for a cigarette after the main course, I learnt of actually ‘why’ F was a little concerned.

They had met some time after S & F split up. They went out for a dinner. Apparently M (S’s mother) started crying and asking if S & F would get back together. He was worried about the same thing happening; or her being disappointed with him being with someone other than S; or something like that, I guess.

In typical Italian style, the restaurant was very brightly lit. The tables and chairs were OK but nothing special. The food however, was really lovely and the service very, very good. S didn’t eat shellfish (and was a bit of a finicky eater anyway). F asked the waiter (owner’s son) to bring us a selection of antipasto, mainly hot but also a little of the cold antipasto.

Plate after plate came. Some poached salmon, anchovies with a celery and ginger sauce; octopus with tiny courgette-type vegetables, squid with a rich, creamy, tomato sauce and polenta, prawns with artichoke, etc. For cold it was rather large prawns (that blue colour that looks as if it was someone who spent a little too long outside in freezing conditions), clams and, my favourite, oysters.

We chatted about many things and I asked appropriate questions, as one does. They were very nice people. And they were obviously pleased to see F had someone, probably, particularly, as they will have already met S’s new American boyfriend.

By the time we had finished the antipasto, none of us were really hungry. We decided to have three portions of fish (one of each poached, pan-fried and grilled) and split them between the four of us. The best was the grilled branzino – as branzino is, by far, my favourite fish.

We drank two bottles of very nice white wine. We had sweets. We had mirto which they had never had before and they brought the rest of the bottle, which we finished.

It went well. We are meeting them again tonight. Also, probably, A who is over from London again, for work. Tonight we shall go to Baia Chia.

As we are going up in the lift, with him slightly drunk, leaning on me and wanting cuddles, is when he said he wanted another ‘baby’. I know it is true, even if he is not there all the time (having to travel – even more now, probably, for work).

But, as I say, there will have to be some serious ‘F training’ for it to work :-D

Perhaps this will help?

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There’s Boy George, who, whilst in prison, has “found himself”. There’s Lola who seems to be in that process. And, then there’s me.

It’s difficult to explain. I’ve said (somewhere, at various times) that this blog is my own process of finding myself but that’s not actually true. I know exactly where I am; exactly what I am. This blog explores some of that and permits me to organise my thinking on it in a more logical way, allowing me to make conclusions and decisions based on what I find. I think it is better defined, not as me looking for myself but, rather, for me looking for a way in which me, as the person I am, can come to terms with the world around me and, also, for this world to realise who I am.

There’s a lot of ‘I’ in that. Perhaps, though, I have it wrong. Perhaps I should be reading the book that Boy George did or perhaps this follow up and, perhaps this is what it’s really all about.

I love the idea of the ‘Pain Body’ – that is (from my understanding), the part of you that holds and keeps safe all the emotional pain throughout your life. This all makes sense. In the same way that you don’t tend to put your hand in a candle flame more than once, you tend to shy away from things that have caused you any emotional pain or stress. As human beings we ‘learn’ through our experiences. But our experiences also hinder us from doing things that, maybe, we should do.

I also, particularly like Echart Tolle’s suggestion that accepting the present is the way forward, for this is what I try to do anyway. In fact, Wiki’s description of the final chapter of A New Earth, seems perfect (for me) as I’m already partly there (although, maybe, only a very tiny part).

‘Tolle’ explains the several ways to finding a more peaceful way to live. There are three stages in the inner consciousness of an individual. The three stages are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm. Acceptance is when you may not enjoy what you are doing but you have to be able to accept it. This is essentially being able to take responsibility in your life and to take action with certain things that are not enjoyable at all and to find peace within these activities. Enjoyment is the next modality and it is being able to make the present moment a pivotal part of your life. This doesn’t mean that if you want to do something that you will find enjoyment in it. It means that with everything you do that you need to enjoy it in the present; you can’t let the moments pass you by or tell yourself you will enjoy something in the near future. The final modality of the inner consciousness is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm entails that there is a deeper enjoyment in the actions you do and being able to work towards a final goal, with a sense of urgency, but without stress.

Hmm. Perhaps these should be my next two books to read?

On being uncomfortable.

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“I’m worried that it will be uncomfortable for them”, he says.

Yes, I can see that he’s worried but I wonder if the ‘uncomfortableness’ won’t really be his.  It isn’t about explaining who I am since no explanation will (probably) be necessary.  No, it’s the fact that I would be there.

“Do what you feel in your heart”, I say.  He feels like I shouldn’t go.  I tell him that that is what he really feels (for he won’t say it). He agrees. “Then I won’t go.  It’s not a problem”.  And it isn’t.  And I understand.  After all, I didn’t go and see V’s parents when we went over to the UK for almost the same reason.  My thought was ‘What do I do with F’.  The choices were to leave him for a few hours (but that was unfair) or take him but I felt that was unfair on both him and them and so I avoided it and didn’t go.

So, I really do understand and I really don’t mind.

So, tonight, he will be going out with them. They want to eat fish. I think he was genuinely unhappy that I wasn’t going to be there. He, at one point, said he would phone S to see what he thought. I’m sure S would have said to take me – but I know that, even then, he would have been concerned.

It makes me think that this was one of the reasons it took so long to go down and see his family. Maybe he thought it would become difficult. As it was, me being on my best behaviour and all, it was all easy. As this would be too – but he has to have the confidence in me that would permit him to take me anywhere and meet anyone. He will learn and it will all be OK in the end and, at the end of the day, however nice they may be, I don’t actually need to meet the ex-parents-in-law :-).

UPDATE: Sometime later in the afternoon.

He’s taken the ‘babies’ for a wash and brush up.  He phones me to tell me that I will be angry with him for they have shaved Rufus’ head (well, his snout, actually).  He is worried.  I say it’s fine but I want pictures.  He doesn’t want to do that.

Then I get an email of photos.

We exchange emails.

Then he says – ‘We are going to a new restaurant tonight – Al Griglia’.  This is with his ex-parents-in-law.  I reply saying that I’m sure it will be nice.  I add; Will I see you tonight before you go or are you coming back to my place?’

He replies that he will bring the babies back home to mine about 6.30 (they are in the office with him), then go and get ready and then I can come to his and we go from there.

I am, a little, surprised.  I thought we had agreed that I wouldn’t be coming.  I say so.  He says no, I am coming too.  It’s difficult to explain that, even though this is all by email, he seems happier about it all – or maybe that’s just my projection.  Or maybe it’s because I really didn’t mind and was so understanding, last night?  Or he has spoken to S?

What is quite funny is that he doesn’t say or ask me directly – just puts in an email that I should come to his place at 8.30 and we would go from there!  He makes me laugh and that’s one of the reasons I love him so.  More exciting than anything else is the new restaurant.  I’ve checked on the Internet and they do fish and meat (yay!).  It seems it is a Sardinian restaurant.  I will let you know.

Nobel Political Prize?

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Liu Xiaobo is, undoubtedly, an amazing man. In spite of being put in prison and suffering, he continues to ‘fight’ against a regime that he feels should be more democratic. This ‘fight’ to get basic human rights, move towards a democracy, etc., is not something new but he is the latest high-profile figure to do so.

His attempts to change the way that China treats it’s dissidents, is admirable. He does so by non-violent means in an ever-increasingly violent world and against a reportedly violent authority.

He should, indeed, be lauded and treated as a hero, as should anyone standing up for the rights and safety of ordinary citizens, especially if they do so in a non-violent way. I wish I had his courage.

And it is important that the rest of the world recognises his attempts and, one day, one hopes, his achievements.

Alfred Nobel, in his will, declared that a Nobel Peace Prize should be awarded “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”.

Now, although Liu Xiaobo deserves some sort of prize, to me he does not quite fit the profile of a person who should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Only the last part could be said to be fitting but the reason it was awarded to him was, apparently, “for his long and non-violent struggle for fundamental human rights in China”. Again, laudable but not really what the peace prize is for, in my opinion.

The Chinese are outraged and consider that this is a political act. Holding our hands up in horror, I read that it is not the Norwegian government that decides this but, rather, the specially formed Norwegian Nobel Committee. How can the Chinese be so confused?

Maybe they read this!

All the Committee members are or were politicians.

So, not only does it seem that they haven’t picked a person who fits the precise requirements (according to Nobel himself) but, also, they may well have done so, being ex-politicians and all, in full knowledge that this was, in fact, a political act.

A shame really.

La Brace

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And, whilst we’re talking about restaurants and food, I forgot to mention that, whilst we were on holiday, we went to F’s favourite restaurant.

Following a twisty road up the mountainside outside Carrara, one enters Liguria and up and up, to Montemarcello, clinging precariously to the mountainside and a small but perfectly formed restaurant.

Unfortunately, I have forgotten exactly what I had (I had lamb). I remember it was wonderful. F, who doesn’t eat meat, as you know, loves it all the same and has whatever vegetable options they have. The meat is cooked on an open, barbecue-style, wood-heated grill. The meat is first class. the whole meal was wonderful and we had a lovely time.

La Brace is well worth a trip if you’re anywhere near the south of Liguria. And, if it’s warm enough, sit outside under the pergola – a great atmosphere.