Category Archives: Other

Hmm.

The Final Question – an update.

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I thought some of my regular readers would like to know – I caved in.

We had spent some days emailing each other and, in the end, actually sat down to talk. At the end of that, though I had got no real assurances except V’s word, I agreed to do it.

So, this morning it was (almost) done. There is a chance it won’t work out but at least I have tried. The only thing that may stop it is the fact that I do not have a Carta d’Identita. And, I don’t want one.

Last night I learnt that V’s weekend away was, so he says, a type of retreat. However, he was strangely quiet even though we were out to dinner at a friend’s house. Overall, there was an air of sadness. But he’s a good actor and I’m not entirely convinced.

When we were on our own, at the table, for a moment, he told me that he loved me.

I have two possible reactions to this: a) to take him in my arms and say that everything will be alright or b) to be a little snipey after all that he has put me through in the last four months.

Of course, there would also be the ‘be nice but be firm and stick to your resolve’ reaction, which would have been the correct one and for which one would earn £200 after passing GO!

I chose reaction b). Well, to be honest, I didn’t choose it, it just came out of my mouth and, even as I was saying it I SO wanted to go for reaction a).

The problem is that I then beat myself up about it and think that I am driving the wedge even deeper. Or not? I don’t know. The problem is that, to realise after all this time that, really, he should have not done the things that he did, is not, exactly, late but, well, you can’t expect things to just snap back into place because of the words ‘I love you’, can you?

It certainly is a long and winding road.

The Unravelling and update

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Today is one of those days. Whilst everything is going OK (at work and at home, given all the situations), I have this slightly strange feeling that, in a single moment, one little thing could mean that everything starts unravelling and collapse in a jumble on the floor.

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Choices, choices.

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Now things have become more difficult. I went to see a flat last night. It is, more or less, the same price as the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street (or can be, according to the guy showing me round). It has good and bad points. On the plus side is the following:

  1. It is slightly bigger
  2. It has a garage for the car (just behind the building) included in the price
  3. It has a terrace that is, in effect another, extra room – at least for about 6 months of the year.
  4. It is in Isola which has a ‘village’ feel to it.
  5. The front overlooks a very nice church and grounds (looks like a well-kept park), the back overlooks the garages and has green trees around.
  6. The lounge/diner is definitely a lounge and diner (I.e. there is more than enough room)

On the minus side are the following things:

  1. It does not have the character of the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street.
  2. It does not have a courtyard at the back, so is not like the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street – i.e. pretty
  3. The kitchen is not ‘abitabile’ but more galley type.
  4. The kitchen is not fitted with anything so would require buying.
  5. The bedroom is not as big.
  6. The terrace, if it faces south, will be too hot during the day in June, July and August so will be unusable, except at night.
  7. It is in Isola which, being like a ‘village’ means that everyone knows your business.

All very difficult. Of course, FfI, who lives in Isola (hence FfI – Friend from Isola) is quite keen for me to live there and the terrace appeals to her (for sunbathing, bar-b-ques, etc.). She is going to see it today.

On the other hand, I go to see the woman who owns the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street on Friday evening, after I have seen the flat-with-the-terrace (so I can see it in the daylight). Decisions must be made.

Back with the ‘old’

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As you may have noticed, I have decided to go back to the old way of doing posts. I decided that the whole blog looked a little boring and need ‘spicing up a bit’.

So, for those of you newer readers, it goes like this.

Type the title of the post into Google and do an image search. Select an image from the first page – any image you like but always from the first page of results. Use that image.

As I have said in the past, should anyone be unhappy about the use of an image and is the owner, please contact me and I shall remove it.

Sweating (and acting) like a pig; spring, maybe?; Friday the 13th

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I’m sorry. I’m sure I do not have perfect habits (in fact, I know I have not) but, certain things I do not do in public and, certainly, not in an office I share with my colleagues.

I do not, even if I am hot and sweating, lift my arms up to smell underneath my armpits. I don’t do it once, let alone several times whilst my colleagues, even if they are at their computers and not looking at me directly, cannot help but see me out of the corner of their eyes. Nor would I exclaim at the same time that I was sweating with a slightly disgusted tone to my voice.

Having said that, the weather, today, is rather superb. There is not a cloud in the sky and it is quite warm in the sun although there is a breeze (you probably wouldn’t even notice the breeze in the UK) and the wind is cold. However, it is supposed to continue like this for a few days yet, so that is rather fantastic.

On another subject, for you lot in the UK and the USA, I guess, today is that dreaded day FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH. Here, it has no real meaning and so, although it crosses my mind, fleetingly, it really isn’t something to worry about. Instead, here, the bad day is the 17th. Also, a black cat crossing the road in front of you is unlucky. Now, S, should any of the bad Italian things happen to her, checks with me to see if it is bad in the UK. If not (like the black cat thing) then she chooses to believe the English version. I must admit that I lied, once, to her when she broke a mirror, saying that, in the UK, it did not mean bad luck. It made her happy anyway. It seems some superstitions are the same after all.

On different flats; the Good, the Bad but not the Ugly.

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Yesterday I had written a longish post. But it just didn’t feel right. And I don’t want to turn this blog into some sort of painful car crash thing. And, anyway, that’s not really me. Well, that’s not quite true, it is a part of me but I constantly fight against those crap thoughts and do my very best to find positive things.

I went to see a flat the other night. Newly restored (still wip), it will have all new appliances (better than the current flat, for certain), new floors, newly painted walls and it is only partly furnished so some of my prized pieces of furniture can come with me.

The lady (landlady) was lovely and I think it would work. Just a little further out than I would like but you can’t have everything, I suppose. Still, it’s quite a nice residential area of Milan. I know the area a bit and it’s close to other friends which will be nice. It has some things that are not important but nice like automatic shutters (and it’s on the first floor so they will have to be shut when I am out).

There’s another one, cheaper and bigger, on the fourth floor, but no lift. I wonder how annoying that will become. What will it be like when Rufus finds it difficult to walk up and down the stairs? When I’ve a glass of wine too many? When my knee is hurting? On the plus side, it has a terrace! And it’s coming up to summer. Sipping a beer there on a warm summer evening might be worth the four flights of stairs, maybe?

Let’s look at it first.

A final note is that we are communicating. By email. This is, at the same time, good and bad. The good part is, I would hope, obvious. The bad part is that I could, quite easily, just fall back into the thing without resolving the fundamental issues which, in the long term, would prove fatal. But time is short. However, at least we are friends and it is not turning ugly.

The future’s bright, the future’s what colour?; It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it.

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The future. Unless you have kids and are thinking of their future, the future must, inevitably, include you. And this makes it a very fragile thing that only exists in your own head.

For, if we are not in the future, then the future that you thought in your head doesn’t and will not exist.

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Talking about you; Where English words come from; An open window

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The number of visitors I get for the ‘new’ (well, it’s not so new, really) blog is higher than the old one (a little). But it’s not that that is the surprise. It’s where the people come from.

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