Monthly Archives: July 2010

Twins and Exes

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This week may be interesting.

First, I get to meet some of the family. The twin brother, in fact. Plus wife, who is, apparently, just a little younger than me and means, of course, the chances of children are slim. They are coming to Milan to go to a Pat Metheney concert with us and, I guess, will stay over at F’s flat whilst he stays at mine.

His brother, apparently, knows about F being gay. I’m not sure whether he’s the only family member but I think F’s sister knows as well. And, anyway, once you tell one it soon spreads, so, probably, everyone knows. I don’t think anyone knows about me, as such. F is quite funny like that.

It will be interesting. I’ve never known so many people who are one of a twin as I do here! F’s twin has to be different from him and I think I’ve seen a picture once.

Then, later in the week, I will probably get to meet the last boyfriend. He has shops in Rome and comes up for the showroom sales (which are on now). Apparently, he will stay at F’s flat and we shall go out for a meal. I’m not sure where F will stay. He says that he usually stays and that there is no sex involved. I’m not sure why he tells me this. I didn’t think there would be. And, anyway, I trust him.

M (F’s Ex) was the one who said ‘I love you, I love you’ for six months and then, one morning, got up and said it was all over. It all made F a bit wary and he didn’t understand why it changed overnight. I don’t think he does now. M, in fact, suggested a holiday on an island off Africa somewhere. It was to include both of us. He knows about me. In the end there weren’t enough takers so the holiday was off. Anyway, I couldn’t have afforded it. And then there were the ‘babies’ to think of.

In any event, two important people will be coming – important to F and, therefore, important to me. It should, as I said, be interesting.

The bulldog that changed into ……… a pig!

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Maybe it was the snorting. It happened approximately every five minutes.

At first, as I was sitting there, opposite him, I thought of a bulldog. I thought about this blog and this post and thought that, yes, he was a bulldog. His hair, almost straighter than mine, which is impossible but you get my drift, thinning but there and floppy but not in a Hugh Grant way, with a fringe over his brow like a young boy – which, undoubtedly, at one time, he was! His weight problem had probably been with him since birth – but if he had made any effort to address the problem, he had failed most spectacularly; his glasses certainly did not fit nor suit his wide face; his smile was as false as the latest breast enhancement.

Bulldogs are ugly dogs, for certain. And they have a problem with breathing. They have fat, ugly faces – stocky without any beauty. The snorting was a little like them. The face was a lot like their face! And, when, at the very start, us not giving him exactly what he was there for (even though it had already been stated in advance that we were going to be doing something else), the anger in him came to the fore and there was a red face and shouting and blustering and threatening. And that’s when I thought that he reminded me of a bulldog.

We went out, our customer and I (for it was someone from the customer of the customer of our customer). I advised that, I would, really, throw the man out of the company. He made some calls.

During the rest of the meeting the bulldog rarely spoke. I was informed later that this was because ‘he had been spoken to’. It was during this time that the snorting came to the fore and, for me, dominated the meeting. I wondered if he actually had any friends. I wondered if he did have any friends, why they had not, out of the kindness of their hearts, advised him that this snorting business was not only distracting but quite horrible; and disruptive!

The snorting got me thinking of him as some sort of pig! And then, in front of my eyes he changed to this:

porco_rosso

After the main part of the meeting, I went and got him the document he had been requesting. However, he wanted to see one filled in. OK, I said, but this would be archived. I will find the last one (from 4 years ago). When I presented him with it, he asked for an explanation. The document had been stamped by the relevant authorised person within the company.

‘How do we know who did this stamp?’. Not an unreasonable question. I went to get a print out of our Quality manual.

I presented the relevant document showing the name and the details.

In Swedish, he queried to another man that how could they know that this person actually used the stamp. Hmmm. This is a man who obviously wants to travel back in time to see this happen. I wonder if a video of the man actually doing this would have sufficed? I doubt it.

Later, when I refused to have something put in the minutes, I explained that, in spite of the evidence we had provided and the quality certifications we had obtained, some to the highest levels for our industry, this man had refused to believe the documentation – that he thought we were not telling the truth.

In the end he was looking for a way to ensure that we were not to standard – or, rather, had a single flaw that he could pounce on to show that we were not competent.

He was a bully; a rude, objectionable, bully.

And so, I wrote a letter today, after discussing it with my MD, obviously, barring him from coming here. As I explained to her this morning, if it were my company, this is what I would do – after all, it’s not fair on the people here and no one should be subjected to bullying by an ignorant, incompetent, pig!

What is wrong with some people? Will they never be happy?

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Let’s be honest people are strange.

Take V, for instance. When we first got together, he had a thing about his birthday. We used to go to his parents. He would arrive, expecting presents by the barrow-load. One time, we arrived about 11 a.m. No one was home. He got so angry. Why weren’t they there to celebrate his birthday? How dare they just go out! We left and went home, I think – although maybe we didn’t. All I remember is the anger. I tried to explain that as he hadn’t told them when he was coming, how were they to know to be there at that time. But there was really no placating him.

When we had the computer business, there was this woman, A, who worked closely with him. She was married to L. Every year, it didn’t matter what L tried to do, birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries were fraught with danger. For him it must have felt like going over the top at the Western Front!

Every time was the same. He would try and surprise her with something and every time he would be rebuffed as it wasn’t what she wanted or was too cheap or something. And, amazingly (because I would have given up after a couple of years), he went to some great lengths to try to please her.

But, whatever he did it simply wasn’t good enough. V & I (for he had got over his thing by then) would gasp at the whole thing.

And now I have S, my colleague. Actually, in many ways, she reminds me of A. The ‘show’ is the thing not the substance.

And, so, tomorrow, is her birthday. It’s quite an important one and it’s quite obvious that this is a milestone she doesn’t want to be at. For a few weeks there have been odd murmurings from her about how it’s going to be terrible. Her husband, she thought, was trying to pull off a surprise party. She was complaining about the people he would probably invite and she spoke to him several times about who she didn’t want at the party.

Eventually, last week, it was agreed that they would go out for a meal – just the two of them. But she’s not happy with that either. I think that, secretly, she wanted a surprise party but was preparing herself to complain about was there and who wasn’t there.

And the present has been an issue too, apparently with him suggesting that she goes choose some shoes – which is obviously not good enough since shoes do not last forever – or even a couple of seasons!

ut, then, she tells me this morning that her birthday is always like this and her husband is always wanting to do something and it’s always a disaster. Last year was some restaurant with some friends but it was a terrible restaurant and the food was not good, etc.

And her husband always wants to do something on her birthday because his is in the first week of August – and they are away at the seaside then, in France, where they have a house. And so, he can’t celebrate his birthday in the way he would like and tries to muscle in on hers. It’s been like this for over 20 years, she says.

Now he has some people coming round on Thursday night. Apparently she told him that she wasn’t cooking and he said that it was not necessary because they would have cake. She asked him who was invited and, apparently it is some friends of his and some people from the block of flats. So she asked if a certain person was coming and he said no and she said that they were the only people that she really got on with and if he was going to invite people from the block then she would invite them and he didn’t think this was a good idea and she said that she is having nothing to do with it and she was going to make it quite plain that this is NOT a birthday party and certainly NOT a birthday party for HER.

And there are times when she just needs a good slap to get her to come to her senses.

After all, what’s wrong with sharing the birthday with him? They will be in France when it’s his and this, being Italy, probably means he has always missed out on birthdays with friends because it’s always in the holidays – the same way as F did/does.

And I know that she will never be happy. Everything will always be wrong – even if this year is worse because of the impending five-zero.

But, like I used to feel sorry for L, I feel sorry for him. In a way. To be honest, this should have been knocked on the head from the start. This kind of crap you don’t need when you’re trying to do your best for someone.

It just annoys me!

Some stuff

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I have had it sitting on my desk, with a stamp on, for weeks and weeks. To post it, it meant a trip down Via Castel Morrone to the post office. Post boxes, here, always seem in such short supply.

I keep meaning to do it. It’s not crucial. It’s the acceptance to the invitation to the wedding. The wedding is at the end of this month but they know we’re coming, so it’s not crucial.

But, apparently, the Bride’s mum likes getting them back and mine has an Italian stamp – so more exotic, I guess. And, anyway, the stamp’s used now so I might as well.

OK, I say to myself, I WILL go the the post office tonight.

I take the card from the desk and have it in my hand as I walk round the corner to the car. I will put it on the seat of the car to remind me to go there tonight.

As I walk round the corner, I almost bump into a post box! I never knew it was there. I walk past it nearly every day, sometimes twice a day and never noticed it before. We men are crap. As my mother used to say – we can’t see for looking.

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I don’t know whether he forgot it ‘on purpose’. I knew, that morning, that he wasn’t going to come. Sometimes, I think, I am beginning to understand him.

He gets up to his alarm. It is 7.30 a.m. I would like to stay in bed and would like to get more sleep but probably won’t. But Saturday and Sunday are the only two days I get to sleep in.

I get up to let him out and then go back to bed. But I know sleep won’t come now so get up anyway.

I see his phone. Hmmmm. I think to myself that it would be easier for him not to come tonight if he doesn’t have his phone. He could say that he needed to go and get it or that he couldn’t tell me what time he had come back or that he wasn’t sure whether we had gone somewhere else, etc, etc.

I go onto FB and chat to him. I tell him I have his phone. He says not to worry. I say I will bring it round. He says he will be fine without it. I say that if he doesn’t have it I cannot tell him where we go and what time, etc. I say I will bring it round shortly.

I take the dogs. After all, it is ‘cooler’ at this time. We walk the normal way. We go through an area between the trees in a quieter street. there are, usually, at night, a couple of homeless people, possibly of Asian descent, that sleep on a couple of benches. If they were there last night then they got up earlier. They are not there. I guess, that Sunday is much like any other day for them – possibly less people to beg off – if they beg.

But they are gone. In the distance, at the end of this patch of green and trees, on the end bench I see someone lying down, probably asleep.

As I approach the bench, I see at the side of it, the obligatory empty beer bottle. I think he may be the guy who I often see on that bench. The one who doesn’t seem to be homeless as he’s always sitting there, not sleeping there – as far as I knew.

As I approach with the dogs, the guy wakes up, or, at least, gets up. He looks homeless. He has a shirt and trousers but they do look like they have seen better days.

As we come aside the bench he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his mobile phone!

What?????

OK, so maybe not homeless after all – or someone who is homeless but rich enough to have a mobile phone?

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Dino has two, very annoying habits. He licks and he pulls on the lead. The licking (as I may have mentioned before) I can’t seem to stop. The pulling I can but it takes time.

And so, at least at the start of every walk he pulls and he’s quite a strong dog – about 25Kgs of solid muscle! I yank him back and make him walk beside me until he stops pulling.

But it couldn’t last forever.

His collar is a material (cotton) collar. It starts to break. So now, tonight, I have to go and buy a collar. First a bigger one as his neck is much thicker than Rufus’. Secondly a leather one as a leather one will last much longer!

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Update:
He didn’t come. He could have but he didn’t. I didn’t think he would.

I am walking home and I am tired. I phone him and it seems like he cut off the call. Maybe he’s asleep already. I text to say I am going home and then taking the dogs out and then going to bed as he seems asleep.

I get home. It seems he’s on Facebook. I chat to him that I tried to phone and that I have sent a text.

I take the dogs out. I come back and am having a quick glass of milk. He calls. The phone was on charge in the bathroom. He left the computer on. He was watching telly in the bedroom. Am I coming round, he asks. If you don’t mind, no, I reply. I am ready for bed. He says the phone did not say I had phoned.

Ah well, anyway, he seems to have bad nights with me or, maybe, because of the heat, I don’t know. Still, it does no harm for us to spend the occasional night apart – or is that wicked of me?

The cool places

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Well, Dino has found the coolest possible place in the flat. One where there are the most cold-water pipes, of course. The floor is much cooler there. He curls himself up between the toilet and the shower.

Normally, I don’t allow him in the bathroom but, right now, I would feel bad for kicking him out.

The thermometer on my desk reads 32. To be honest, I haven’t seen it drop much below that in the last few days. All the windows are open, trying to grasp every last bit of breeze. It has it’s disadvantages, of course. The main one being that the sirens from the main street (which I don’t even look onto) are very loud. And, poor Dino doesn’t like sirens. It must hurt his ears or something. He howls.

However, it’s not so often that they go past. I take the risk with the neighbours. I’m sure something will be said if it’s a problem. At least they don’t bark like some of the other canine occupants of our building.

I sweat. All the time. Showers give relief – but only for seconds. I’m not too bad if I don’t move. I’m fine if I move. It’s the stopping after I move that opens the floodgates and make it seem like I am in a shower. People don’t understand. But I have the same genes as my grandfather.

But this is, in every way, far better than being cold. This I can do. Being cold is a problem.

I go to Porta Venezia but phone F first. He was taking a walk to Corso Buenos Aires because he had the carpenter in. F is in Feltrinelli – a book shop that also sells DVDs and CDs. He will be buying CDs, I expect. His flat looks like a CD shop as it is. But it’s his passion, so that’s OK by me and, anyway, he can afford it.

I meet him inside. It is lovely after the heat of the morning outside. Very cool. He can’t find a CD that he wants. He has most of them.

“I can’t find a punk CD”, he says. I wonder why because punk music doesn’t really seem his thing. He finds a compilation of punk. I suppose it is for his DJ stuff that he does. He will probably mix it with something.

I suggest something to eat and also that I do something for tonight. He agrees, sort of.

He asks where we should go. I suggest a café just off Corso Buenos Aires. We go. It’s OK. It’s quiet as it’s off the main street. We sit outside and have salads. I then go to get fags and do some shopping.

By the time I get in the lift, I am starting to resemble Niagara Falls.

But it’s OK for me. I go straight out again to get a water melon and some milk, not having wanted to traipse them all the way back from the other supermarket but from the one near me instead.

I put on the last wash. The temperature at my desk is still 32 but it is much, much hotter outside and we have, from time to time, a slight breeze.

I will do some ironing and some tidying up and then prepare food for tonight. I will do some work, maybe. Tomorrow nothing will be done.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is Wimbledon at the 442 with friends. F will be working. Maybe he will meet us later at the Leon D’Oro. I hope so.