For which I am grateful even if, secretly, this time he could have been quite irresponsible and it would have been OK too.

Of course, we’ve only been together a year and a bit, so I don’t really understand him at all nor can I tell what he’s thinking. I can take some educated guesses now and then but that’s about all.

And then there is the fact that everything does not go according to plan. Not that I ever have a real plan, as such. Just a vague ‘wanting’ of something: something to happen; something to occur. But it’s only a ‘wanting’ or a ‘would like’ – it’s not like it’s set in stone. It has its advantages. I’m never really disappointed, for one thing.

Of course he was cute. He climbed up on his Mum’s back to sleep. We both wondered if Dino would permit that or, even like it. However, in the back of my mind was Rufus. And Dino. Two opposing things. On the one hand a) would it be fair on Rufus to have a rather annoying and demanding animal in the flat, b) what about if Rufus gets ‘ill’ again, like before, c) what if he keeps going for another 6 months whilst, on the other hand there is a) I don’t really want Dino to be ‘alone’, b) ……………..

Actually, there is no b) or c). See how the agins outweigh the fors? Hmmmm.

F suggested that, if Rufus does die then he can take Dino into his office a couple of times a week. Of course, that’s when he’s here ……. and not busy with a shop/shop window/showroom sales, etc.

Maybe it was the worry about how it would be if Rufus hangs on or is ill that meant that I didn’t really ‘connect’ with the puppy. Or maybe it was the price. It’s a lot. More than for Dino – but then we got Dino at a discount given that his teeth weren’t ‘quite right’ – and still aren’t. Since I don’t get a dog to show or breed, then, for me, it’s OK. Or, maybe it was because there are only two puppies and, normally, there is more choice and one of them stands out as being the one I want – like Dino did.

So, I am to phone them (F says) to explain that, should Rufus go in the meantime, we would have it but they are to sell it if they can. I am also to check if the main place are likely to have any more say, in September.

So although F was truly enamored with Piero (for it will either be him or it will be the next one), he was also really sensible and gave all the arguments above – even if I already had them going through my head. I like that he’s sensible – even if, as I said, this time he would have been forgiven if he had not been sensible.

Yesterday, F was working. And, since yesterday, Rufus has been staggering more than usual. And then, this morning, when I gave them food, he fell over …… again. And he lay there on the floor, a few inches from his bowl. I moved his bowl to where he lay and, after a few minutes, he continued to eat whilst still lying down. It’s OK, before you ask, he got up later. I’m trying not to help him up at the moment. That bit is to come. I don’t remember how quick it was last time. A month? A few months? No, I just don’t remember. It would be funny (the falling down bit) except that it isn’t.

And he lagged on our walk this morning. Unfortunately, I don’t have that much time for too much lagging. I guess, soon, the walk will have to be shorter.

I sigh as I write this. But, for those of you who have dogs (have had dogs), you’ll understand. Such is life.

So, the plans that were not made in the first place have changed a bit. There are now new plans that have also not been made that, if broken, will not be disappointing.

I took several photos only one of which is any good – and even that is not good. I wait for F to send me his photos and then I will post at least one – good or not. Be patient, please.