Very, very spoilt.

“They don’t have small animals, do they?”, he asks as he is brushing the bed cover.

It takes me a moment to realise what he means. “Oh, fleas?”, I query and then carry on as it’s rhetorical really, “No, certainly not. I give them drops every month”. Well, I have been since the beginning of April, anyway.

I laugh, though. The time to have asked me was about 6 months ago, one would have thought. They had had a small cake each and then, later, they were allowed on the bed. But, this time both of them, thereby squeezing us to the either side of the bed. Meanwhile F was playing with and singing to Dino – Dino, meanwhile, lapping up the attention and lying on his back being stroked and played with as if it were a small child playing with the dog! “Aren’t you embarrassed”, I said to him, at one point. I actually said this to Dino but, of course, it was for F really.

“They are very, very spoilt”, I said this morning over the Facebook chat, after I had got to work.

An important ‘first’

I had given them a stern warning – before we left the house and whilst we were in the lift going up. Not that it really made any difference and it was stupid really but, still………….

This morning, I caught Rufus on the sofa. When I told F via Facebook chat, this morning, his response was – ‘He’s not stupid’ – which, indeed, he’s not. Of course, Rufus, on seeing me come out of the bedroom was off the sofa almost immediately!

It took them a while to settle. All was new although, last night, on arrival, as we walked through the door, Dino was overly excited. After all, for him, the whole flat smelt of F and so he was looking round for him. F, meanwhile, was hiding behind the door.

Then they had to smell and investigate every corner. Rufus settling much earlier than Dino, which was to be expected.

It’s not really that dog-friendly. F moved a vase with a rose in it. A little too catchable by the odd tail wag. And, of course, F has wooden floors so the clip-clip of them walking through was a bit loud but we managed. And so, it’s done. The first time there and we stayed overnight. Providing F is still OK with it, it should be fine for the future.

Of course, I shall always be worried – well, at least, for a while. That is to be expected. It will be up to F now as to how often it all happens.

And he makes me laugh a lot

We have chatted about the dogs going to have their hair cut and made clean.  I have agreed but he wants me to come with him so that he doesn’t make any mistakes (i.e have them cut too short or something).  We agreed over the weekend that it would be done and he would make the appointment.

And then, by email, he sent me this:

Dino and Rufus

The picture, taken by him at the weekend of the boys on the balcony, seriously in need of a wash and hair cut – but it made me laugh out loud.

Travelling to the North Pole – and other bits and bobs

I hate travelling.

Well, that’s not really true.  The actual travelling I don’t mind so much.  I hate the bit where you have (as in this case) half an hour before you get the taxi or whatever.  If I were going on my own, I would get a taxi now and go.  I would be at the airport early but no matter.  However, I have to get a taxi in about half an hour and pick some other people up along the way to the airport.  So I am ready (more or less) but have half an hour to spare.

I hate to be late but, in this case, I cannot be early.  I hate the thought of missing the plane (even if I don’t actually want to go) and so I am early and ready but am now twiddling my thumbs, so to speak.  The kettle is boiling for my last decent warm drink for some days to come.

The weather here has warmed up quite a lot.  Now we get highs of 15 or 16 degrees in the afternoon.  Where I’m going it will get to 3 degrees, if I am lucky and there might be some snow.  I am going, quite obviously, much further north.  Regular readers will know that I don’t like ‘cold’.  Hmph!  Already, I can’t wait to get back.

F is away also so I have had to make other arrangements for the dogs.  Not ideal but the best I can do.  F is back on Friday night so will stay with the dogs that night.  I am back the next day.  I miss him a lot but you have no idea how pleasant it is to be with someone who a) loves their job and b) works hard at it.  I really have no problem with it, even if I miss him like crazy when he is away.

The night before last, he received some gifts for his birthday (more than 2 months later).  Tickets to see Whitney Houston in Milan and a night at a range of hotels in Italy.  As he rightly pointed out, I get the benefit too.

One of the things with V was that V would say something but it would never actually transpire.  I’ve found that F does the same.  It’s not quite the same but annoying all the same.  So, the ‘we’re going to Tuscany at Easter’ has turned into him going to Tuscany the week before or something like that.  I mean, I don’t mind but I wish he hadn’t said that it was ‘we’ in the beginning.  It’s not that he doesn’t keep his word, exactly, it’s just that when the time actually comes, with all the logistics, things change, whereas, if I say something then, for me it is set.  Still, I’m learning and at least it is not as bad as V’s specials.

So now we have no specific plans for Easter.  It’s only the extra days’ holiday but I intend to take some extra days off and make it longer.  I’ve told him but I think I shall have to tell him again.  Maybe we can go to Mantova for a day or to the lakes to my friend’s mother’s house.  Maybe.  It’s all a bit unclear.  But I really want to spend some time with him away from our houses, away from Milan, in a way, to force us to spend more time together.  See, I’m still worried about the fact that we have nothing in common; that we have done nothing ‘together'; that we’re not building a ‘history’.

Still, there are times when it seems so ‘easy’.  He shows me affection (in his way) and I try not to touch him too much, not to annoy him.  But, for certain now, the discussion is ‘where we spend the night’ not ‘will we spend the night together’.  And it usually revolves around practical things like he wants to see the dogs or the other night when he was getting up early to go to Spain (and therefore it was better to be at his place).

And he still makes me laugh.  And I still adore him.  And I miss him.

The next few weeks are important (I think).  His last relationship lasted 6 months.  The guy saying ‘I love you’ very often until one morning, after the ‘I love you’s of the night before said that it was all over.  F didn’t understand.  So now he is less trustful but I try to show him that I am true and faithful and honest and stick to my word.  It’s all I can do but still, I feel, he doesn’t really ‘relax’ into it all.  And, of course, nor am I ‘relaxed’ into it all, as you may tell from my posts.

And now I have 15 minutes before I leave and so I leave you, for a few days whilst I go to a place that, for me, might as well be the North Pole!

Well, this hasn’t happened for…..ummm….well…..bloody years!

Yesterday, about 1.30 p.m. I went home.

I felt ill.  I mean, really crappy, shitty and I couldn’t stay any more.

I slept quite a bit, had several Oxo drinks (my own secret solution to any illness) and, later when F came to see me, some Tachiflu (even if it’s not flu, I’m sure) and took my temperature (‘cos Italians like to take temperatures) because he had bought a thermometer, even though I told him it wasn’t necessary.  I did feel he was slightly disapproving of the fact that I didn’t actually have a temperature.  He also bought some orange juice, the Tachiflu, some milk and some beef burgers (he thought I would be off work today which, obviously, I am not!) – very sweet of him though, for sure.

My temperature was normal.  Of course!  I’m afraid I don’t get ‘fever’ which seems his answer to every slight change in how your body feels.  However, I still felt shitty.  The last time I took time off from work because of feeling ill was so long ago that I can’t even remember it.  Perhaps it’s an age thing.  Anyway, half a day off work in, say, 15 years, isn’t so bad, I think.

Oh yes and we had a FB chat thing about Susan Boyle, who appeared at the San Remo festival last night.  He said she looked really good, which surprised me.  He then replied that she had had her hair done and had a good dress on.  I replied that it wouldn’t make that much difference.  He replied that it made her look like Linda Evangelista – which made me laugh a lot.  I then replied saying that Linda may be very unhappy with that comparison but Susan probably wouldn’t be.

I miss you so much

Actually, no.  that wasn’t what was said.  What was said was:

“I miss the babies.”

Not a line from me and nothing to do with real babies at all.

He phones me last night, about 7.  He’s been at the shop all day and so is finishing early (well, early for him).

“What do you think about going for a pizza?”, he asks.

“Sure”, I reply.

“We could meet at Liù in 10 minutes?”, he suggests – this being the restaurant/pizzeria in Via Eustachi, so very close to me.

“Perhaps then I go home and come back and stay with you”, he says, before adding how he missed the babies.  Not me!  Well, of course not, since I am with him every night, even if we are at his place.

But, for me, it’s great that he misses the ‘babies’ as he calls Rufus and Dino.  I like it a lot.  And it’s great that he misses them and loves them.  I left the flat to take them for a walk and we waited, just outside the building for a few moments until I saw him coming.  Then we walked on as he likes to ‘surprise’ them – especially Dino.  And so we are walking.  He catches us up and is a few paces behind.  Suddenly Dino spies him, does a double take (for one second it could be anyone) and then launches himself at F, so excited he is to see him.  I like this too.  I like that Dino is so pleased to see him and that he is so pleased to see Dino.

This morning I text him to tell him that it’s been a great four months and that he makes me happy.  He texts back to say ‘I love you’.

I can’t stop smiling.

Hair today………….. ; All change; Doubly dippy

“I’ve just got to clean my teeth and do my hair”, I say.  He is lying under the covers.  I have just brought him a cup of coffee having been out with the dogs and drunk mine and now about to get dressed to go to work.

And, to prove he is not as asleep as he would have me believe he comes out with ‘which hairs?’

Now, I know I don’t have much hair on my chest and, unfortunately, my hair is thinning on top but…..
‘Bastard’ is my response.  He laughs.

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The wardrobe came last week.  It has mirrors.  It is big.  It is fabulous.  Not all clothes are sorted yet but they will be.  Soon.  The bedroom already looks much tidier and less ‘dirty’.

There are many things to put away and they will be done, mostly this weekend.

And I took the opportunity to have a bit of a move around.

So the TV was moved to the bedroom.  This has pleased F no end.  The night before last, as I hadn’t yet got a long enough cable for the aerial, we watched a video – during which he fell asleep.  Last night, having got the aerial and a digital decoder (as V couldn’t be bothered to find the remote for the one he eventually gave me back) and F having tried to sort out the getting of channels, we watched TV.  F is happy, there is no doubt.

The desk I have moved to where I thought I would have put the Dining Table.  On it is the computer.  Being an iMac, it is easy to move having only the power cable to worry about, the keyboard and mouse fitting snugly under the screen/computer to enable carrying.

I don’t think I like it where it is.  The table/desk, I mean.

I go back to my original idea of having the table near the window.  I think it will be better there.

A agrees.  He was round on Sunday making all sorts of suggestions as to how it should be changed.  It was nice of him but it’s not really for me.  And, anyway, he didn’t really understand that I wanted F to come up with ideas – it would make him feel more at home in the same way that the telly is now in the bedroom.

It all makes me sound rather wicked, perhaps?  But it isn’t meant to be that way.

So, undoubtedly, the table will be moved.  Maybe, even, this weekend, we shall see.

That means moving the ceiling light or, as A suggested, getting a cord by which to hang it across the ceiling.  Then there’s moving the other things around and, hopefully ending up with an acceptable living room/dining room.

Then all I shall need to complete it is a proper dining table and we’re done!

But I shall ask F, when we have time.  I would prefer if he were ‘involved’.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Finally, I’m pleased for all you UK readers to learn that the UK is out of recession.  You must all be very pleased

Of course, here, in Italy, Buzz Lightyear was saying that Italy and the Italians wouldn’t be affected (oh, yes, apart from those businesses that went out of business and the people who lost their jobs).

I do worry that, for the UK, the house prices are still far too high and wonder how long it will be before ‘double-dip’ is added to the word recession by the UK media.

I hope I’m wrong.

I love Dino

It’s a bit of a problem as you get older. Your bodily functions seem to slip into some sort of ‘uncontrollableness’. There is, certainly less control.

Sure, I could be talking about humans but, in this case, I am talking about dogs. And, more specifically, Rufus. Unfortunately, after eating, he has a small problem with farting. And the thing about dog farts is that they are extremely unpleasant for us humans.

And so, we’re sitting, watching the second season of Fame, the TV series, which F really loves and which is why, for Christmas, he bought himself the DVDs. And Rufus is lying by me and snoring. Heavily. And then, stealthily, like some sort of secret, I smell the most rancid, sharp and disgusting odour. I know, immediately, what it is. And I know it’s because he is old. Still, it is quite an awful thing.

I exclaim on how horrible it is and F just says ‘poverino’ until he, too, smells it and exclaims himself how rank it is. I suggest getting the spray from the bathroom. He says that he will get it. He returns from the bathroom and starts spraying. But it’s not the ‘fresh air’ aerosol that I was expecting. Oh no. For him, not the simple ordinary smell but an expensive perfume that he gave me because he has plenty, from his own company.

I just couldn’t stop laughing. I would never have thought of that nor, as in the past I have had to buy the stuff, would have used something that was normally so expensive. But to F it’s not like that. And, I must say, it worked a treat and was considerably better at disguising the foul odour than any household spray!

And then there’s Dino. Dino will be, as I have probably mentioned before, one of the sweetest dogs I have ever had. Daily he becomes more lovable. Most people (including F) love Rufus more because, well, he’s a grand old man and so very well behaved. Dino, in comparison, is all hair and bigger and more excitable (understandably – he’s only 18 months old!). However, I can see that, as he matures and mellows and becomes less excitable and ‘jumpy’ he will be wonderful.

Except for a couple of things. The main one of which is his propensity to lick. And I mean lick everything. It’s just a quick ‘slurp’, not constant licking. But he slurps everything. Clothes, shoes, hands, other dogs – almost as if, by taste, he can tell what everything is. And I really don’t know how to stop him. It’s like a really bad habit which I don’t know how to break. The command ‘Stop licking!’ often shouted with a ‘bloody’ thrown in between the words has no effect as the slurp has already taken place and, so, he just looks at you with that querying eye, head slightly to one side, not really understanding anything.

Gradually, stuff is being left here by F. It’s not that it’s permanent, you can see that, and I know that anyway but it’s here all the same. Last night, early, he got some guy to move the stuff he had packed. I went to the new flat to help with the delivery to the flat. And, as an aside, of course, everything will fit and everything will be OK as I said it would.

After, I drove him back to the old flat and he had a bath. As we were about to leave he said he would bring some old clothes that he could wear when we were sat watching a film or the TV so that Dino, when doing the slurp thing, wouldn’t slurp on the good stuff that he is wearing to work, today.

I laughed. The ‘old stuff’ included a very nice cashmere jumper, light grey.

However, he wore it and Dino slurped and it was no problem. F played with Dino most of the remainder of the night, after we had got back from our pizza, the first time we have eaten out since before Christmas!

When in bed, F said, just before we went to sleep – ‘I love Dino’. And, yes, Dino, in spite of the hair and the excitableness and the slurping, is, in fact, a very lovable dog and, in particular, when he is sitting by you, hoping to be stroked, he has this endearing habit of resting his head, sideways, not chin down, on your legs, looking up with his big green eyes.

But, in any case, I was pleased by his line of ‘I love Dino’.

Cartwheels

I could have turned cartwheels, there and then!

I went over to his old flat.  He was packing.  Still.  Although he had packed a lot.  He had said to me that the place looked like a bomb [had hit it].  And it was true.

Boxes and bags were everywhere.  He was struggling.  What to pack?  What not to pack? Only one box left – so what needed to be done now and what could wait until later.  Several times he had said he was worried about the new flat being too small.  I said it would be OK.  What else could I say?

But, by the time I got there, I could see that he was quite unhappy.

‘This is why I said we could not move in together’, he said, his voice trembling and obviously upset.  ‘I don’t ever want to do this again’.  He rubs his hands on his head.  It almost seems like he is going to cry.  I want to go over and hold him and reassure him and cuddle him and take all the pain and anguish away.  I don’t as I know that he would push me away – he’s right in the middle of packing – there will be time for that later.

‘I know’, I replied, ‘I DO understand’, thinking of only last night and the comment about me finding a flat for him in my building and knowing that, right now, with the trauma that this is causing him, he is not really thinking straight but only from moment to moment.

‘I wish I could help you more’, I said, meaning every word but knowing that there was nothing I could do.  This was his thing and I had to let him do it in his way.  The only thing I could and can do is to be patient and understanding, which is what I am trying to be.

‘I’m sorry for you’, he said at another time.  ‘It’s OK’, I replied, ‘don’t worry about me’.

‘One day is good and the next day is bad’, he added, to explain the roller-coaster that he is currently on – but it needed no explanation.  ‘You don’t need to say ‘sorry”, I replied, ‘I understand and I’m still here, aren’t I?’

And I did understand and he doesn’t need to say sorry – not for anything.  And I think he appreciates the fact that I am there and with him, even if I can do nothing.  I don’t want him to feel totally alone in all this and I think he doesn’t want to feel that either and I think, from what he says, that it does help that I am there, just to be there and to be someone that he can cuddle and kiss when he needs it.

‘If you don’t mind’, he adds later, before we leave his flat, ‘I will stay with you until the 18th (when the wardrobe and bed are delivered) and I can go from work to the new flat and tidy and organise and then come over to yours.’

‘Sure’, I reply, ‘I told you before, it’s not a problem at all and it’s the least I can do to help’.  It may only be for a few weeks but, for me, they will be weeks of “almost perfectness”.

But that was the moment I could have turned cartwheels.

In which I learnt how to pack CDs

Being as old as I am and having moved quite a number of times, you would think that I may know a little about packing up.  It seems not.

Best Mate asked me if there was anything about F that wasn’t perfect.  The thing that comes to mind (although now, at this stage in our relationship, I just find it funny and not a problem) is his obsessiveness with tidiness and cleanliness.  And it is an obsession, believe me.

Put it this way.  Last night we spent the night at mine.  This morning he said that, if I didn’t mind, he would be spending most nights here as it would be impossible for him to remain at his flat with everything being packed and, therefore, everything not immaculately and perfectly ordered.  And it’s so true, I know that much about him.

I want to help him with the packing.  Not only because I want to help him but also because I can see how the fact that things are now ‘getting done’ towards the move and the fact that we will be so much closer is making him so much happier.  Of course, that makes me very happy too.

And, so, one of things that I can do is pack his 2000+ CDs.  However, it’s not as easy as it seems.  To do this he has bags.  However, instead of showing me the bags and saying ‘get on with it’ he felt that he should show me how it should be done.

More or less, of course, the have to be packed in the ‘right order’ – i.e. the order in which they are currently in the racks.  To show me this he, almost, packed a whole bag!  There were three columns of CDs stacked and then a few that we slipped down the side.  Who knew that it could be so difficult? :-D

So I packed a few bags whilst he sorted out his shoes and then cleaned the ones he was taking.  Cleaned, of course, because he doesn’t want to clean them in the new flat.  It does make sense although I would be in such a hurry to pack that I wouldn’t do that (didn’t do that).  I learnt the other night, when R&Al came over for dinner, that, about once a month he takes his 2000+ CDs and cleans every single cover!

Last night was wonderful.  The Zampone and lentils were great.  The time we had together was perfect.  As a start to 2010 I could not ask for anything better.  And it’s so nice to know that he feels the same as I do, even if he shows it in slightly different ways.

During our conversation over dinner he was saying how much he liked my flat.  Although he pointed out that if he had something this big it would be so easy to put ‘in order’.  He said that in the spring he would ‘help me’ to reorganise the flat.  I did say that it made me a little scared – and we laughed, of course!  But there is an element of truth in that.

He also said that, in the next year or so I should keep an eye out if there were other flats in this building available.  For just a moment I thought he meant to look for something bigger for both of us.  Thank goodness I didn’t say anything.  He meant that I should look for one as he would like a bigger flat and would like one like mine!  OK, I thought, but, with every move it’s getting closer.

And, then, on his way out to his flat this morning (to continue packing) he said the thing about staying at mine more often.  Of course, I wanted to say ‘move in, why don’t you?’ but I didn’t as I knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.  This thing is just one step at a time.  Last night, in bed, we were talking about something and I made a half-joke about us taking it slowly and he said that I wasn’t taking it slowly and I replied that it takes two.

And he knew that was true.