Tag Archives: Relationships

A fantastic Easter

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A day late, I know but, Happy Easter.

Probably, this was one of the best Easters I’ve had.

Yesterday, it was just the four of us. And, like Christmas, it was just us. F had cleaned the flat the day before and I mean “cleaned”. Doing the top of the cupboards, picture frames, etc. Stopping occasionally to show me the cloth. I’m afraid I was not really impressed since I knew that the cloth would show that neither I nor my cleaner do these bits (and, most certainly not I). However, it seemed to make him happy.

So the house was incredibly clean – what I would call “spring cleaned” even if the weather doesn’t really feel like spring – far too cold and wet and downright miserable. Still, at least we don’t live in the UK where they still have it in the minus figures and have snow and stuff.

We got up. I took the dogs for a walk whilst F cleaned (obviously!) the floors. Then we went to have breakfast and pick up the colomba (the traditional Easter cake here which is actually similar to pannetone – a kind of bread-like cake but with a different shape) and then we spent a few hours relaxing a bit before starting the lunch.

I was having lamb which, these days, I don’t eat so much since F will not eat it. Just lamb chops but better than nothing. I had made some fish cakes for him. Obviously, being in Italy, some ingredients are hard to find. I had walked the length of Corso Buenos Aries and back looking for the only fish shop I know in this area but, unfortunately, either it has closed down or it was closed for that day because I couldn’t find it. In the end I chose some salt cod and added a bit of smoked swordfish (it was supposed to be smoked haddock) which I got from the supermarket. The other ingredient I needed was cardamom seeds (but for the sweet I had planned). Again, this is not easy to find but, after trudging through the relentless rain on Saturday, eventually I found some in a herb shop.

So, Saturday afternoon was spent by creating the fish cakes and then doing the sweet. The sweet was a chocolate mouse (well, it is Easter). I think I used nearly all the bowls in the kitchen to create the chocolate mouse! Melted chocolate, separated eggs, whipped cream, orange juice and grated rind, etc.

And, so, Easter lunch was, in the end easy and lovely. F did a mix of courgettes, carrots and leeks, thinly sliced and fried until they were just soft. I did roast potatoes to go with the lamb and fish cakes. We had bought lasagne from our usual place. After an antipasto of some meats with bread, the lasagne for primo piato and the main course, we were both quite well fed. The fish cakes, by the way, were superb. I had make six and cooked two (the rest went in the freezer) but F only managed to eat one so the other will be for today, shared between us. My improvisation regarding the fish seemed to work fine.

We couldn’t eat sweet straight away and so took the dogs for a long walk. The sunshine was out and it was much warmer.

Then we came back and had the chocolate mouse (which was really good), a piece of colomba and some of the Easter egg that F had bought. And we finished off the bottle of wine – EACH! He had white and I, red.

And, as you see, nothing really special and, yet, very special, like Christmas – we spend all day together and cook together and take the dogs for a walk and, somehow, it is so relaxing and enjoyable and I really love it.

One day, hopefully soon, we shall be able to do that more often.

One out.

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I said 4 instead of 3.

To be honest, I couldn’t be sure. Was it 2009 or 2008?

I know I should know but, well, I don’t.

So I said 4.

In fact it’s 3. I had to check this blog to be sure.

Well, it WILL be 3 – at 9.45 this evening. When we shall be at our favourite restaurant for a quiet, lovely dinner. To celebrate. To celebrate 3 (and not 4).

But I was only one out, after all. And it does feel like longer (and shorter).

That’s just the way it is.

So happy (well, I will be)

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F, as I have mentioned, is away. His flight back was set to arrive about 7 p.m. on Saturday. That’s a whole week plus half the weekend. I don’t complain – it’s work after all – and work keeps us all sane and brings in money to allow us to enjoy doing the things we like.

However, I don’t like him being away so long. Including for him, since he gets very tired.

But, a bit of good news just in. He has changed plans and will be home on Friday night and I shall go and pick him up straight from work – as I’m half way to the airport anyway.

I am very happy. I will be much happier on Friday night – even waiting at the airport for him to arrive :-)

Mother of My Children – Apply now!

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“Family are important”

He wanted me to blog that I had said that since he found it strange or funny or both. Not the sentiment, you understand, just that I had said it.

But, to understand the statement, you need to understand the background.

He has a girlfriend. Or a might-be girlfriend. Or a maybe girlfriend. In any case, they’ve spent some time together.

“Have you met her parents yet?,” I ask.

Of course not. Relationships, for some people, go at snails pace. I know that, but I like to ask these things. Like I liked to ask “Have you kissed her yet?”

Please note that I didn’t ask for intimate details. I really don’t want to know about others’ sex life. A) it’s not my business and B) it is better not to be put into a position of imagining it all. I really don’t want to know. But, on the basis that, once, I was told about a girl with whom he had ‘had lunch’ several times and who was a ‘serious contender’ for the title of ‘Mother of my children’ – but who, with further questioning turned out to not know she was in the running for ‘mother of my children’ title and, in fact, had absolutely no idea that he was even interested in her, I like to ask questions to try to determine the ‘real’ state of things.

For your interest, the answers were 1. No and 2. Yes.

The ‘No’ was because ‘it’s complicated’. Complicated by the fact that the mother is a friend of a cousin and, therefore, word would spread and then ‘Mother’ would be involved and he doesn’t want interference.

I can only imagine.

But I justified my question by stating that ‘Family is important’.

After all, if she is to win the competition for ‘Mother of my children’, you need to know that a) you LIKE the family and b) that the family LIKE you.

He did make a valid point of the fact that this would be impossible for a partner of mine.

But to counter that I would say that, even if I could have children with my partner, my family would never know, let alone be involved. And, in any event, my family wouldn’t like my partner on the basis that he would be a man.

So the correct statement should be that ‘Family are important – as long as it’s not mine’.

Anyway, it seems like the competition for ‘Mother of my children’ is moving forward.

Of course, to me, every new one is a winner. That’s because I only get the barest of information about them and I only get that after asking A LOT of questions, since information is NOT forthcoming. It would, indeed, be easier to get blood from a stone.

And, sometimes I get a bit frustrated. Hence the question ‘Have you kissed her yet?’ And, anyway, asking a question like that gets a real response – at least non-verbal, which can sometimes say more than a verbal response.

I guess I’m quite wicked sometimes :-)

Dino is perfect: weather continues; the return

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“It’s too hot,” they say, or “Isn’t it hot?” they ask.

It has been quite hot for some time now. I was reading (book 7) and it had something like “we can’t complain because it never normally lasted more than a few days” – about the English weather.

And, I suppose that’s true. Yes, I know it to be true.

Whereas, here, it is hot and sunny for weeks at a time,. Or months, even.

F came back yesterday, early evening. It is so nice to have him back. We were out with his friends last night, friends from college. Almost everything was Italian with few people speaking English. One guy had me confused with S. Apparently, so F said, S was really pesante (heavy/hard work), implying I was not. Which I’m not.

Today we had an appointment with the vet. I was getting worried that Dino had a form of arthritis or rheumatism. And as the days wore on, worried more and more. I have always accepted that dogs are dogs and that they have short lives but the idea that Dino might have something wrong with him was different. I know he won’t live forever but, still ………

Anyway, after checking we were told he was perfect, which came as a great relief.

Now, as we near the end of our time here, I wish it wouldn’t end. But such is life.

I am not a child

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You would think that, at some point in your life, you would grow up. I wonder what it takes? I wonder what it is for others to be “grown up”?

I am not incapable and, as an adult of some advanced years, I can DO things. It’s not as if I’m helpless.

And yet ……

I dropped him at the station. We were early. Of course we were early. For he is worse than me when it comes to public transport.

“I will wait with you”, I had said.

But no, it was not necessary.

“But I can help you with your suitcase. Lift it onto the train for you. With your bad back, it will be better.”

“And who will help me in Milan”, he said, dismissing my argument.

I tried to suggest that, by me helping here and after over 3 hours relaxing on the train, he would, maybe, have a better back. But it came out mumbled and wrong. I was incoherent putting my clear thoughts into words that he would understand.

I offered to stay a few more times but he was having none of it. And my arguments were weak.

He stopped the car and got out, opening the boot. I got out and got his suitcase out.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to wait with you?”, I asked.

No, I should get back and go to the beach. There was, apparently, no reason for me to stay.

“I would wait with you because I love you”.

There, finally said. The only reason. He kisses me on the lips.

And then he walks away.

And every time he’s not there leaves a hole as if I’m not quite whole without him.

I drive back and, suddenly, everything I do in this strange and foreign land is a battle, something where I must force myself into action.

When I get back home, Dino looks past me as I open the door. Looks past me to F, who isn’t there. It’s as if I’m not quite good enough, as if it’s all not quite complete. Which, of course, it isn’t. And Dino knows that well enough.

I come to the beach. People greet me as I come or, later, as I’m sitting here, reading my book or typing this, as they come.

But it’s not the same.

Tonight I have some leftovers from our lunch at his Mum and Dad’s (our first meal there this holiday – but that’s another post) and I have wine and the dogs.

He has suggested that I take a walk to the centre of the town (and, yet, here it’s not a town – more like a really large village or a suburb – even if there’s a castle tower in the centre) with the dogs, like we often do, and buy an ice-cream and take them for a while in the newly discovered and rather nice dog area.

But these things frighten me. Not so that I won’t do it but enough to make it doubtful. For there I will have to interact and I don’t have his charm or style. Or language, of course.

If I were about 5, I am sure I would wail and howl with this feeling of abandonment, with this feeling of being so alone.

But that’s quite stupid, as I well know. I can get by. I can walk the dogs this evening and get and ice-cream. But it all takes such an effort and such resolve by me to do even the simplest thing.

Without him.

And yet ……

I am not a child.

He was born yesterday (24/4/2012)

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One of these is Piero

Piero and brothers and sisters and Mum

Above is a picture of Piero with his brothers and sisters and his Mum. I can’t actually tell you which one is Piero since we haven’t seen them yet.

But we’re going tomorrow.

F couldn’t wait

So he phoned them because he couldn’t wait for their reply to my email :-D

He’s more excited than me :-D :-D

And I’m pretty excited.

This might turn into a blog dedicated to Piero and Dino :-)

It’s like a party out there …… and here.

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There are plenty of taxis – just none that are free for hire.

For that matter, there are plenty of cars too.

And there are plenty of people. In fact, in this street, normally fairly dead at this time of night. In spite of the fact that there are some nice hotels on the road, mostly it is shops, and the shops are closed.

And there aren’t any people, normally, since the road doesn’t really lead to anywhere to which people would want to go.

But not tonight. Or, rather, last night. Last night it was ‘buzzing’, in spite of the rain.

It is, of course, the week of the Furniture Fair – Salone Internazionali Del Mobili. Apart from the fashion weeks, one of the most important times for Milan (or maybe bigger than the fashion weeks), showcasing all that is good and great about Italian design.

Now, the main exhibition is at the Rho Fiera (the big, new exhibition centre) outside Milan.

And whilst, when it first moved, Milan became a bit dead, now there are many smaller exhibitions and parties and things around the centre of Milan. And so it was last night, the third (I think) night of the Furniture Fair.

F’s shop had a book launch and so there was a small party, of sorts. Of course, now, I must go. I like to watch him schmoozing the customers – and he is very, very good. Full of charm and jokes.

I know some people, of course, and get introduced to more by F, permitting F to go off and see other people. I chat a bit but I do find it more difficult. I’ve never really been that good at small talk. Still, I do my best and the party is nice.

I step outside sometimes for a cigarette – watching the taxis and cars and people in this unusually crowded street. Feeling kind of odd. I mean, I don’t feel like I really fit in but it seems nice and I want to fit in; to be part of this ‘world’ of art and design and ideas.

But it’s OK. I have a glass of prosecco in my hand and, after several, I’m more relaxed. I meet people that I recognise but can’t place. One is an author; another a buyer or something for Prada; some English woman who is a buyer for some shops out of Milan. But I am crap with names and crap remembering. Somehow I manage to get by, sometimes having to ask F quietly, who it was I have been talking to.

I mention the dog; the new puppy – but they all already know and most have seen the photographs. “Yes, I have seen you in the photographs with the dogs”. Of course they have. I say to one, “I don’t know whether he’s with me because of me or because of the dogs”, laughing as I do. In fact, both are true.

And I am tired. His colleague from Paris has gone (and she is really lovely) and two nights of going out, eating, getting back at half-past midnight have taken their toll. Tonight I would have preferred to go to bed immediately but it can’t be so. It’s part of the deal of a relationship. One does things for the other. And, anyway, F enjoys introducing me as his ‘fidanzato’, especially to people who have never met me. They always think I’m something in fashion or design and he delights in telling them that I’m not. It’s his thing.

We walk home, since there are no taxis. It’s not late but both of us are so tired it feels like it’s midnight anyway.

In the middle of the night, we both stir for some reason and, for no apparent reason at all, as he turns, he lifts himself up on his elbows and kisses my face. He doesn’t really show affection as such but sometimes I feel happy that I know he loves me.

The Fallout

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For every action you make or don’t make, there is fallout.

In this case, someone sent me a message. I felt sorry for him as he’d certainly paid some money for a service that wasn’t a good service. I thought, “I’ll just go on and do a reply to him”. It seemed the fair and right thing to do.

I told him that I was already in a relationship and wasn’t looking for anyone any longer.

I didn’t get a reply back but, then, I wasn’t expecting one.

What I did get, though, was a load more emails!

That’s because I logged on to reply to the message and, so, I’ve been ‘promoted’ so more people are viewing my profile.

Luckily they automatically go to my spam folder now.

As I said to someone recently, I would NEVER use Meetic again as it simply doesn’t give you a good service. If you sign up, the chance of finding someone ‘real’ is remote.