I am jealous. I mean really jealous. Take Corpodibacco’s post (Unfortunately, the blog no longer exists) as an example. Here’s a guy who isn’t mother-tongue English, writing stuff that I really like to read. OK so his English isn’t perfect (sorry C) but it’s pretty good and nothing a good editor couldn’t fix if it were to go into print. But his description, the imagery is all there. I, on the other hand, seem to scribble rubbish. Just the trivial facts, nothing of any real meaning.
It is true that, mostly, people are nice. And when people are nice, it lifts you and gives you warm and good feelings inside.
I have a cheque to pay in to the bank. It’s drawn from a UK bank and in sterling (obviously). I want to pay it into my bank here, in Milan. The bank is through the Post Office as it’s the cheapest around (we don’t get free banking here, guys).
I go to the PO and take my ticket. This is much, much better than the old days. Previously, going to the PO was a nightmare, queuing not really being an Italian thing. But now you have to have a ticket, just like at the deli counter in a UK supermarket. When your number shows up at a counter, you go to that counter. All very civilized here.
As it is holiday time and nobody is back yet, my number comes up straight away. I go to the counter and hand over the cheque, explaining that I want to pay it into my account. The nice lady (who is, by the way, bloody useless) looks at the cheque. Reads the cheque (except she can’t read English). I explain that it’s a cheque from England and in sterling and that the bank on the cheque is a UK bank. She turns it over. The back has nothing on it. She returns to the front of the cheque. She reads it all again. She has a discussion with another teller (who I’ve never seen before, so I guess is new here). They discuss it but I don’t know what they are saying.
She says we should go to the wonderful lady (WL) at the end counter. She is wonderful because she a) speaks a little English, b) seems to know what she is doing and c) is extremely helpful to us whenever we go.
So WL looks at the cheque. She has a conversation with the nice lady (who then darts back to her counter, never to be seen again. I think she was just glad to be rid of the problem. WL and I have a small (because my Italian is very poor) discussion about the cheque. Other PO employees come over to join in. A man who looks like the manager of the PO also joins in. WL checks the general terms and conditions to see how, or even if they can, accept a cheque that is not Italian and, worse, not in Euros. But the Ts&Cs are too general.
She suggests that I go to the main post office in town. I ask if we can try here and because she is the WL, she says OK
She tries entering the details via the computer. Unfortunately, but obviously, the computer wants the value in Euros. The cheque is in pounds. She goes away.
I look at things. Leaflets, posters, etc. I wait. I wait some more. I cannot see where WL has gone. I move up the counters to see if I can see her. She is on the phone at the back.
I wait some more……!
She comes back with a form. A different form to that used for paying in. Not a normal duplicate form but it may have been faxed to her.
She explains that it may take up to a month to clear. This is no surprise. I had read about this on another blog/site. I say that it’s OK. She says it may take less, as if to apologise for how tardy they are here.
She fills in the form and gets me to sign it. Then, because it is not a duplicate form she has to take a photocopy so that I have a copy of it.
And that’s it! Well, obviously, I now have to wait to see how much I get charged and how long it takes. We shall see and I will try to remember to post the results on this blog.
Then she tries to get me to sign up to online banking. I think she thinks that it may stop me coming in so often :-). I explain that I’ve tried but it seems difficult. She fills in a form (absolutely every transaction you do requires a form).
I sign the form. Then, on her computer, she shows me what site to go to to register. Apparently I will get a telegram with a code that will finally allow me to bank online. She gives a long list of terms and conditions with prices. And she writes a helpline number on top to call if I have problems and suggests that, maybe, someone will speak English there.
I go home. I try. It doesn’t work. It doesn’t like something. I think it’s my Codice Fiscale (like National Insurance Number – but used for everything here – almost to the point of being required for supermarket shopping) but I can’t be sure.
I read some of the charges. I note that, even if I pay a bill online, it will still cost me 1 Euro. I can’t wait until the banks here are in foreign hands and there is some real competition.
That was all yesterday.
Today, I go back. I explain that I couldn’t do it and that I tried to ring the helpline number but nobody spoke English and it was too difficult to explain my problem. I ask if we can try it here – on her computer.
We try. She gets the same message. And then we have a whole conversation about whether I am a resident. I’m not. Not yet. I’ve applied but it takes three months! I only did it for the car (that I now need to sell).
She looks on my initial application for the bank and sees that I’m not a resident. But then finds that, on the computer I am classed as a resident. She suggests that I try the alternative registration option of non-resident. We start to try it but it requires different information that she doesn’t have.
I say I’ll try it at home. I did. It works. It says I will get a telegram (I think). This will be interesting to see if it works. I’ll let you know.
I’m not the only one but, still, I feel guilty. It’s been 10 days since my last post! And, as a result, traffic is down. Not that traffic is so important, but it’s nice to know that there are people that read my blog (and I’m talking about the regular readers, here).
Its all about persistence
Persistence is the key here, in Italy and, in particular, Milan. This is true especially when it comes to bureaucracy. It comes down to the big, age-old problem of ‘taking responsibility’.
You see, from my experience, in general, they just don’t like taking any responsibility and especially if it means going out on a limb.
So, one queries how anything ever gets done here. How does anything change? If it’s not done in the time-honoured manner, then it just can’t be done.
R, my boss, explained to me that, seven years ago, a law was introduced allowing certain official documents to be circumvented (at least temporarily) by composing a self-certification document. I have the particular article of the law in front of me and the list of acceptable self-certification particulars is long.
For instance, you can certify your place and date of birth; where you are resident; professional qualifications, etc.
One small problem. For the first two years after this law was introduced, nearly everywhere refused to accept the self-certification as an official or allowed document, according to R.
And even now, some people, even if it is on their own organisation’s website, are adamant that these things are not acceptable! It’s incredible although, the more I am here, the more credible it is, given the way Italians are.
Anyway, the persistence thing comes in to play in almost every aspect, especially when dealing with officials. One office/department/even official will tell you what they know – which of course may not always be exactly how it should be – just how they know it. But, as another will tell you something slightly differently or even something opposite, it pays to keep digging and keep asking – if you can stand it, of course.
Oh, Italy would be a great country, a world-respected country, if only there wasn’t this Italian mental shrug of the shoulders – which is really to shrug off the responsibility from oneself.
Had a few problems over the last few days. As you may know by this post, I had the problems with ADSL. At the end of it, methinks, it was almost certainly Alice’s fault (Alice being the brand name for Telecom Italia’s ADSL service and not some random girl; it’s actually pronounced aleechay and not aliss).
Then, 2 days ago, I found I couldn’t send email through Outlook. This meant I couldn’t reply to anything unless I used the web mail site, which is not so convenient, to say the least.
Of course, the first thing I do is search the web with my error and I find that ZoneAlarm may be the cause. Recently it suddenly, without my asking, put a spam filter on my Outlook. Now, actually, I thought this was quite good and I quickly got over my initial reaction of ‘why are you doing something to my machine that I didn’t ask for?’.
So, I have been watching it rather closely since then to see how it goes. I had almost got to the stage where I was trusting it and then, I find, it may be the cause of the sending emails function to fail.
So, how to switch it off? Well the ZoneAlarm console says it IS switched off. A check on the forums shows that it was an accident with one of their updates and that it did cause problems with Outlook and provides a link to be able to switch it off.
So, that’s what I do. But there is only a slight change in the error message that I can display when it won’t send. But then on another part of the forum I find you have to also do something else. Which I do. And the error message changes again.
And then I remember that I read on one of the forums that a persons ISP had suddenly blocked port 25 (used to send mail) except for their own smtp mail function. So I try, just in case. And then it works.
So was the problem Alice or ZoneAlarm or, even, both at the same time?
Either way, I’m now thinking that I will try and find another Firewall product (I haven’t really liked ZoneAlarm since Checkpoint took over) and then, if Wind/Infostrada get their act together, I’ll let them move me after all.
Of course, that almost certainly makes me a little, no, probably completely, crazy, but Alice have annoyed me twice in a week now. Cazzo Alice, and ZoneAlarm is only slightly better!
Don’t. Go to the UK. Buy a car over there. Tax and insure it. Spend 2 days driving it over here. Job done and everybody happy.
Alternatively, get a bicycle or use public transport.
Whatever you do, DO NOT TRY TO BUY A CAR HERE, unless you have full residency status, in which case it’s fine. Also, even if the car is free, it will cost you just to transfer title (between €330 and €680). Yep, Italy is a great country, but I’m amazed that most Italians haven’t emigrated to somewhere where life and, in particular, bureaucracy, is much easier – like the UK, for instance.
So, a friend of a friend is emigrating to Canada. If she does not get rid of her car by 10th July, she will have to pay a whole year’s insurance of €400. As she knows the difficulties here, she is prepared to let it go for free. And I have the chance to have it. Just a couple of small problems.
I can’t legally own it without having Residency here. It will take much longer than a couple of weeks to do this, even if I can, which I somehow doubt. And I need to have the car as mine has many, many things wrong with it and, surely, it is only a matter of time before it fails.
In addition, the owner has mislaid, or never had, one of the two documents that she needs for the car. To get a replacement can take 90 days! And cost €200! And she will be gone within 90 days!! And post, here, is difficult to have re-directed (I’m almost certain that you need to prove that you live at the new address before the Post Italiane will permit the post to be re-directed).
Maybe I should just give up?
Well, summer has truly started. Not only is it hot, and I mean hot all the time, even during the night, but the mozzies are well and truly back – big time.
In the UK, if someone suggests a trip out, where you were going to travel for two hours to get there and two to get back, you would tend to make a day of it. So, for instance, when we lived in Herefordshire and you decided to go to, let’s say Aberystwyth, you would set of at, say, 10 a.m., reach Aberystwyth, have lunch, enjoy the afternoon having a walk around and set off home at 6 or 7 p.m.
I know I’m not the first and I know I’m not the last, but it doesn’t help really. The story goes thus:
About 4 weeks ago or more, Alice (the ADSL arm of Telecom Italia) rang me up and I spoke to a very nice lady, in English, of course, who informed me that I could upgrade my ADSL from 4 MB to 20 MB for no extra money and I would have to do nothing. ‘What, nothing?’ No, not even change my modem! I would notice no difference except, if my modem could handle it, a faster speed. OK, I said (I know, my first stupid mistake).
Then, about 2 weeks ago, Wind (otherwise known as Infostrada) said that they were doing this special deal whereby a call to the UK would cost 20 cents. What, per minute?, I asked. No, for the whole call! AND they would give me a cheaper ADSL line (only 4 MB – but my modem can only handle that and it’s quick enough). But, I said, last time I tried to change, I was told that I would be without ADSL for 1 week. No, the nice man, who spoke English very well, said, you will only be without ADSL for a maximum of 1 hour. But what about the password, etc. I said. Don’t worry, he said, we will email you the password and connection settings. Wow, I said, OK then, sign me up! (My second stupid mistake).
So, last night, after going to a Gospel concert (which was really crap – I don’t think white people have the correct voices for Gospel and V agrees) and a beer and so forth, we returned home to find – no ADSL!
A message on the screen says that the new set up is available via my Alice mail account. Except it has been over two years since I accessed that account – and I only have it because they made me have one when I first set up ADSL. So I have absolutely no idea how to get the information to access ADSL. I may be without internet access for the whole weekend or, God forbid, longer. It’s like being in a desert without water. What will I do? How will I manage to live? And is this problem because of the upgrade I signed up for or the change to Infostrada? How the hell do I know?
Oh, and now nobody in the Technical area speaks English – surprise, surprise. I must speak Italian, apparently. Yet, of course, when they try to sell me something they always speak English. How very convenient. So I ask a colleague here to help as he is our network man. At which point he tells me that he is with Infostrada – well, sort of. He has been without ADSL and telephone line since 7th May!!!!
He will help me this afternoon. I do hope we can sort it. If we do, then I will cancel everything else and NEVER, EVER CHANGE AGAIN!
On the bright side, I’m already thinking that, instead of being stuck in front of the computer I may read some books, write some letters, go for walks, prepare some food, clean the house and many, many other things. Actually it will be more like being on holiday!
In the meantime, I found this somewhere on the internet the other day and thought it was useful to remember this. (I’m sorry, I don’t know where from or who posted it).
“Well there is a difference [talking about Bush and the leaders of the Iraq resistance, I think, but could apply to many, many situations]. The one is like a pirate, the other an emperor. From St Augustine’s City of God, said the pirate “Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.”
It’s a thought, isn’t it?
Update: Now, as I’m able to put the picture up and add this update, you can tell that I’m back online with ADSL – Hurrah! However, it still annoys me that Alice can happily sell me stuff in English but can’t support me unless I have someone who speaks Italian with me. Bah!