Author Archives: Andy

The rain in Italy falls mainly ……..; Then and now – who’d of thunk it?

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As I write this post (although you will be reading it sometime later this evening), it is raining.

Raining as it does here. Not like the UK at all, even if everyone comes and says:

“Andrew! The weather! It’s like the UK!”

To which I always reply, “Yes, which is why I don’t live there any more”.

As I say, it’s not like the UK at all. There’s no sign of a shower here, just rain, rain, rain.

Anyway, just in case you didn’t know, it seems that Buzz Lightyear will be tried in court after all. Although I have read that he won’t have to actually appear, which will make it less of a spectacle, I suppose.

Sooner or later, surely, he will have to resign. Even now, there is really no one who can fill his shoes. I find it a bit disheartening – that no one person has stepped forward to show how strong they are and how much support they have.

But who would have known that this charmer

would have ended up being this woman-charmer all those years later?

:-D

p.s. yes, I know it’s not good English in the title, thank you for pointing it out ;-)

I weep a little inside

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I nearly didn’t spot it. After all, it is a pale yellow on a dirty white. I only noticed because of the rug. The rug was darker.

It’s another thing.

It’s about not being able to hold on for a few moments. It’s about kidney failure. It’s about a general deterioration.

It doesn’t smell. It’s nearly time.

I can’t get angry. Inside I weep for him, the same way as I weep for him when, a few minutes later I go to the lounge and he gets confused and goes to the bathroom to ‘follow me’. He gets confused quite often now. Senile dementia, I suppose. It goes with the general failing of everything else.

But this latest is the latest sign; the latest failure. I suppose it means that soon he will start to smell of piss as it comes through his skin. Just like an old person. Which I understand much better now.

I sat stroking his skull last night. I say ‘skull’ rather than ‘head’ since now, that’s what it is. No extra fat anywhere, even on his head. Just skin and bones, as they say – but they are right, whoever they are.

We are supposed to have booked the holiday by now. We’re going to the same place as last year because ‘it will be nice for the dogs’. I don’t say ‘you mean the dog’. I don’t need to remind him. He can see it every day anyway. I don’t think he will be good with this even if he has only known him for 18 months.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy for me either but I know it is the way things are.

F said, the other day, that I was not like most Taureans. I am not so ‘bloody minded’, like him. I am, as I said at the time, easy going. Life is tough enough without having to fight everything. Fight the things worth fighting for, I think.

And this? Well this is inevitable and foreseen and all we do now, F, me and him is to wait. Wait for the time that I now know I will know when it arrives. It might be soon, I think.

Still, I still weep a little inside for the signs that keep coming.

Just an old woman who is dying

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I don’t really know why I did it.

I suppose it was mild curiosity as to where she was now.  I mean to say, she must have moved on.  It started when I ‘liked’ or commented on her friend’s, H, status or something. It made me think about her and where she might be. And, so I looked.

Her ‘wall’ gave regular updates. We are in so-and-so. We are sailing to so-and-so. I didn’t recognise the names anyway. Is she still in Australia? There was a mention of Fiji (is that near Australia?). I can’t look these things up. Too much like stalking. To weird.

There’s a ‘conversation’ between her and her niece. Is she (the niece) looking forward to going to stay with her nan, to look after her?

Of course, I have to find out which nan. I have to know what had happened. If she’s the one I suspect, she’ll be about 74 now, I guess, if my memory serves correctly.

I find out. There’s another conversation with other people. There’s been a fall. Something to do with an operation, a hip, a replacement, perhaps? So it IS her. The niece has to look after her for a while after she comes out of hospital. For sure, it means her husband is already dead. I was right. That doesn’t make me happy but, then, it doesn’t make me unhappy either. It just IS.

In doing all this, reading all this, I feel a sort of thrill. I can’t explain it. I don’t feel any real emotion but it’s like I’m spying and so I get this kind of thrill.

It crosses my mind that she might do the same thing. Through her friend (as otherwise nothing shows up – not that I put that much on there anyway – a few photos but nothing of any real interest – my security settings are tight and limit most people as to what they can see – except friends, of course). But her friend could see some things, I suppose. The photos, if nothing else. It gives an indication, I suppose.

I wonder how she is – after the fall and the operation and the new hip – but not in a connected way. It’s all detached. It’s like a reality show. A reality show in slow motion. No television, no pictures, just a few words from time to time.

Of course, it got me to thinking. What happens when she’s close to death? Maybe she already is? Will she ask her daughter to find me? Not if what her husband once said was true. She didn’t want to know ….. apparently. But, if she dies, will her daughter try to contact me anyway? Or is that door now closed. Will I feature in the will? I doubt it and, anyway, if I did, it wouldn’t be so much. I’m not that important – not after all this time.

I go through the steps that will happen. Her daughter makes a friend request. Or her friend, H, contacts me.

Do I accept? Well, why not?

Then, when we are ‘friends’ she send me a message: Mum wants to see you. I reply: Why? or Why now?

It goes blurred at that point. Do I go or do I stay? I want to be nasty but, also, in my head, I should be nice. After all, she’s nearly gone. She’s already nearly gone in my head whether this be true in ‘real life’ or not.

The meeting, should there be one, is not clear. Only one line from me.

“But, you’re just an old woman – an old woman that I don’t know who is dying”.

But since all of this is in my head none of this will happen. Anyway, she might live like the Queen Mother did – for years yet. But the fact that, probably, no certainly, none of this will happen is a relief, to be honest.

After all, this is just some old woman that I don’t know who is dying.

When is a hamburger NOT a hamburger?

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As you know, I’m not on any diet.

And, so, I didn’t have a hamburger for lunch today.  How good is that, you might be saying?

Ah well, it’s not quite what it seems.  It is marked on the menu as a ‘hamburger’ when, in fact, it’s nothing of the sort.

Ruth complains about the bad way that we English-speaking peoples bastardise Italian and that all of Italy laughs at us – well, the same is true of English words used by Italians.

So, if I didn’t have a hamburger, what did I have?

I had a burger made from veal. So, strictly speaking, I suppose, it was a vealburger, since we also have veggieburgers? But, veal is a baby bull. And, therefore, you could say I had a beefburger.

Certainly, what I didn’t have was a hamburger.  No ham was involved.  In fact, no part of a pig, small or large, was involved.

Oh yes, and I had chips :-( but only a few.

And pasta to start – but not a lot.

And no bread …………. but we did eat two baskets of bread last night because it was so lovely.

I am the first to admit that I am really crap at diets.

Oh, and by the way (thanks Pietro) ‘ho fatto una vacanza di totale relax’ which, almost literally translated is ‘I had a holiday of total relax’. Who’s laughing now?

St Valentine’s Night

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Last night we went to the Taverna della Lamparo.

We chose it because of all the restaurants we go to fairly regularly, it is the most romantic. The lighting is low, not bright like Italian restaurants tend to be; it is small, perhaps serving 30-odd people; the tables are big, there is plenty of room and the tables are well spaced out.

Also, the food is superb. OK so we only have fish there although they do have a very small selection of meat dishes but I had prawns with leeks to start with, hot, tasty – no, actually divine. I could have had a bigger portion as the main dish! For the main course, I had, as normal, the parcel of branzino (sea bass) with, in the parcel, potatoes, tomatoes, capers and olives. It was truly great, as always. F had his usual of thinly sliced raw tuna with raw fennel to start and then a sesame coated tuna steak, seared, on a bed of some vegetables.

For sweet we both had the apple strudel with a hot chocolate sauce. To drink we had a bottle of white wine (lighea) which is lovely and then to finish a glass of mirto each.

F had bought me a present. It was a beautiful key ring (from his shop). I had got him nothing, the window men having been much more than a couple of hours doing my windows and doors and then me having to wait for the washing machine.

I had bought him some white tulips the day before as these are his favourite flowers but I had nothing to give him. So, as I was paying for the meal, I bought a bottle of the lighea wine (as you cannot buy it in supermarkets or off-licences). It wasn’t as good as getting him a real present but, together with the tulips, I think it was OK.

We walked back. tomorrow I must start my non-diet again!

He went to bed and put the television on and I walked the dogs. I came back and told him I was going to have a glass of milk and then come to bed. 10 minutes later, I came to bed. He was propped up with one of my pillows in addition to his own, television remote control in hand, seemingly watching TV. One arm was round Dino who was lying next to him.

“I’m going to need my pillow back”, I said, laughing.

There was no response. As I got into bed, I realised that he was asleep. I reached over and took the remote control from his hand and switched off the TV. As I turned round, he woke up so I grabbed my pillow and we both settled down for a particularly quiet sleep, the double-glazed windows keeping out more sound, I am sure.

I adore him, you know?

Everything is new! Or, at least, tidied up :-)

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Hmmm. When they were measuring to replace the windows, they said that when they came to do them, it would take only a few hours. They assumed I would want to be back at work. In reality, of course, it being 3 p.m. (they started work at 8 a.m.) it is a good thing I took the whole day off.

It’s also a good thing that the new washing machine is coming between four and six. It’s also a good thing that my cleaner has not arrived yet. He is due to be here any time now but the men have, nearly, finished.

Many things have happened/are happening. It’s like a whole new place.

When we got back from our night away, because F had let a friend of his stay in his flat (and she was going to stay on Sunday too), we came to my house. We played cards and stuff. He decided that my fridge smelt of garlic and so, being the only thing we had not done during the great ‘Kitchen tidy up’, he decided we would do it now.

Everything was emptied out. Things past their sell-by date were thrown away (I’m really not good at that) and the fridge was cleaned (by F, of course). Now it is very tidy. Obviously, I must try to keep it that way.

We went to buy the new washing machine on Saturday morning, before we left. For the last few months, the machine has, during its spin cycle, sounded as if I had put a couple of boulders in with the washing. God knows what my neighbours have been thinking. So we went to Euronics (obviously). I decided to pay up to €600. So I have a new super washing machine coming this afternoon. This is kind of essential as the last wash I did on Friday night, didn’t actually get any spin at all. It washed and rinsed but no amount of coaxing and restarting by me resulted in any spin at all. And the thought of not having any washing done was terrible. And, as I’ve mentioned before, I AM NOT going back to hand washing.

The nice thing about Euronics is that, not only are they helpful and nice (although I prefer the smaller one on the corner of Viale Vittorio Veneto and Via Lazzaretto than the one on Corso Buenos Aires), they also did their best to get it delivered this afternoon. Obviously, as I write this, it hasn’t been delivered yet …… but I trust them. So there’s another few hundred Euro that Darty don’t have and Euronics do. And it will be the same when I have to replace the fridge, although I’m hoping this will be next year, at least.

So, a cleaned and organised fridge, new windows and doors and a new washing machine. What fun I have!

It’s very cold ……. with no windows; The Smart Box night away.

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Excuse me for this but it is fucking freezing!

The men are here replacing the external doors, windows and shutters. When they said they were going to start in January I did think they were a bit mad. Of course, it wouldn’t be so cold if I were working like them but I am here only to make sure that Rufus doesn’t run off somewhere and Dino doesn’t spend all his time in their way and trying to lick them.

And they have completed the kitchen so we are here and I am typing on the computer and my hands feel numb and it is difficult to type. One of the many disadvantages to smoking, I guess – your circulation is not shit-hot.

I’ve lost the beautiful handles, of course. But the windows look good and, one hopes, the whole flat will be much warmer – after today. They are (and I’ve just got up to check) double glazed and I am very happy about that. During the time they have been here (three and a half hours so far), there have been three people from other flats in the building, coming to them to tell them that one or more of their windows/doors don’t work correctly. I only hope they do mine properly as this would be much more difficult for me to do – what with my bad Italian and the fact that I work all day – leaving before they arrive and coming home after they have gone :-(

Still, they are tidy and the finish they have done is good. There will be no need to re-paint everything afterwards. But the bonus is (I hope) that it will be warmer in the flat.

___________________________________________________

Well, what can I say? The weekend (really 24 hours) away was lovely. But let’s get the bad things over and done with. The ‘hotel’ was a bit basic and the room was almost unbearably hot (although, as I write this I wish I was there and not here). The restaurant was at ‘their other place’ which was a fifteen minute drive away. The food was OK but not really amazing. The weather on Sunday was miserable so that we came straight home and did not go somewhere for a few hours – like Pavia – which I had thought we might do. In spite of there being no dogs to take out, we both had a fairly restless night (the heat of the room, the noise of the church bell which rang out at seven to call the faithful to mass on Sunday morning). The town (Pinarolo Po) we stayed in was a bit of a one-horse town. The place with the restaurant (Borgo Priolo) was a collection of houses – and the agriturismo. The place we went to because we were too early for the restaurant (Casteggio) was, to be honest, quite boring and not a ‘pretty Italian town’ like we had hoped.

So, the things that were good? Well, first of all we were away from home. It means we spend more time together and, you know, I do so enjoy that? It was very relaxing. We got to the hotel and were met by a fat version of Riff Raff (from the Rocky Horror Picture Show) at the desk. He was one of those people who don’t go grey, as such. His hair, shoulder length, was that dirty yellow colour, as if he had been in smoke-filled rooms all his life. We got our key, went to our room and had a little relax. Even a little snooze. Then got up and got ready and went to find the restaurant. My navigator is really fantastic. Except for one thing. It makes it easy to find somewhere but, I think, you miss out on finding those ‘unexpected’ places. The route is always one which is ‘main’ roads and I wonder if we don’t miss out on some hidden gem. Also, it meant that I didn’t research the area. So I have no idea if there was somewhere else to go. Maybe Voghera would have been nice to go to for a couple of hours? In future, I must look before we travel so that I have a better idea of what’s around the area.

Anyway, we found the restaurant and there was nothing around. Anyway, it was already dark. We had an hour or so to kill and so we went to a nearby town we had noticed on the way there. This was Casteggio. Casteggio has a huge square in the centre, given up to a car park, as one often sees. We walked around. We both wondered how the shops could possibly survive. There were so few people around. There were shops without customers. F, being a visual merchandiser, commented on how the clothes shops had everything in the window. Too much stuff. But, then, this was not Milan and these were, in general, not designer shops.

We wandered around. There was nothing. We went past a tobacconist and F decided to get a lottery ticket.

“I won a thousand Euro”, he said, all excitedly. I suppose I almost ignored him as the statement was incredible. He showed me the ticket. Indeed, he had won. But not a thousand as he said.

He repeated, “I won a hundred Euro”. Of course, now it made more sense. Sometimes, when you buy a ticket, you win some money. For my regular readers, you may remember I won €5 one time. He had indeed won €100! This was going to pay for our whole evening.

We went to a coffee/bakery shop to ‘celebrate’. We had a drink (non-alcoholic) and some snacky, savoury things. We walked around a bit more but it was, frankly, quite boring. We went back to the restaurant and went in.

This was an agriturismo. The menu was set. There was a bottle of red wine on the table (which was lovely), we had water and they came and poured us a glass of their own spumante (like champagne); to start with a plate of what looked like home-made bread (but was something called tartine – bread with bits in it). Then a plate of meats. The salame was very nice. Then a small selection of pickled onions, mushrooms and a sauce thing made with red peppers, carrots and vegetables. Along with real home-made bread. Very nice.

Next up was pasta, made by them, from wholemeal flour – so, brown. The first was some pasta like ravioli but heart-shaped – it being the Saturday of Valentine. then some short pasta with a mushroom sauce. They came back with seconds of the Valentine pasta – so I had a couple more.

Then we had some Roast Beef (as they call it) Very thin slices of cold roasted beef – done very rare, as they do here. If you don’t compare it to English roast beef then it is lovely. No vegetables or accompaniments, of course, we are in Italy. After that came some pork – except that, really, it was a slice of roasted gammon. F wouldn’t eat his so I had his too. Then they came back with seconds of the roast beef – and it seemed rude to refuse. I had decided anyway that my non-dieting would cease this weekend. Then a sweet which was a fruit tart with a little custard on the side (crema, here). With the sweet was a glass of moscato and then coffee. We were both stuffed. The food was nice but not spectacular. But for €75 (you see how the €100 win paid for the night?) for two, it was very good value and the food was good and a lot.

The night, as I said, was restless. The room was far too hot. And then there was the clanging (for it was not a pleasant, sweet sound) of the church bell at seven.

So much for the dogs not waking us in the morning. We dozed on and off and then at about 9, I got up anyway.

Outside, the glorious and surprisingly warm days of the previous week had been replaced with a drizzly mist. We are in the Po valley, of course. And it was now cold, I suppose as it should be in the middle of February.

We breakfasted. They seemed surprised by my request for a glass of cold milk. So much so that we had to ask twice. Riff Raff was there helping serving the breakfasts.

We packed and were out of the hotel by 10.30 and on our way back to Milan driving through the fog and, kind of, grateful to be going home. But we had a nice time and it’s times like these I feel closer to F and I do like that.

As for the package, the Smart Box? It’s a great idea and, if only we had booked it sooner, we could have chosen the hotel we wanted and it may have been nicer. I would consider buying one for someone else – maybe the gastronomic package?

No Diet – Day four and other things.

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Well, that was all rather lovely.

But first I must thank all of you for kindly answering my call after I shamelessly prostituted myself for comments. I no longer feel quite so gay knowing that straight men like Mars bars too :-D.

On to last night. B was up in Milan and so we went to Sento as I predicted and wanted. It has been so long since I had sushi and it was divine. Even now I can picture the boat of bright red, pale pink and white fish laid on that particularly nice bit of sushi rice.

And I had the grilled beef. The wine was lovely – dry, crisp, white wine. Sake to finish. Sparkling water and sparkling company. B did seem so well and I was so happy to see her. We even made tentative plans to all go up to Pallanza for the weekend of Easter. Yay! Since last night I have checked with F who is also keen on this idea as long as it includes the bambini, of course and the opportunity to play cards.

Of course, as last night was all Japanese food, none of it is fattening in any way and so I already feel slimmer :-D

We talked and talked. Actually, as is usual with B, it felt that I did most of the talking …… again. She also came up, beforehand, to see the dogs, especially Rufus who has always been her favourite.

We also talked a little about V and I explained about the defriending on Facebook and so on. I explained that I was disappointed, which is true ……… now. I admitted to being a bit angry at first. After so long together, how DARE he just cut me off! But now I am just very disappointed.

And she talked about how she searched for her old boyfriends again – after all, if you were with someone for however long, they meant something, they had something that was attractive and one should never let that just disappear. And I’m with her on that. Perhaps I should make a little more of an effort to get in touch with M?

So, I just broke off to do just that!

And, for reasons that escape me (although it may have been seeing B last night or knowing that we’re going away this weekend or the fact that it’s Valentine’s Day on Monday), I feel incredibly happy. Which is in direct contrast to last week!

And so, I wish you all a very good weekend too. I hope you’re doing something special too :-)

Evening of Day three and start of Day four – a little set back or two.

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Well, depending on how you look at it, it’s all going rather well or it’s a complete disaster!

Like the button of yesterday, today has had it’s broken thing too. However, I only noticed once I got to work. Actually I only noticed after I had dropped the car off and was walking to work.

The car is being cleaned. This weekend we go for a night away using the Smart Box present that F got for his birthday last year. We have to use it now because it expires at the end of this month! And so we shall need to use the car. Since the car has not been cleaned since about last September and, knowing F’s slight obsession with cleanliness, I thought it better to get it cleaned :-D

And as I’m walking from the garage to work, something doesn’t feel quite right. It is, in fact, my shoe. The sole is coming apart from the uppers. These were €30 shoes that I bought about 18 months ago. I’ve been, sort of, meaning to throw them out for a month or so but being a stingy bastard, kept wearing them. Tonight, they will be thrown away. Today they have to survive. I will try not to walk too much.

Of course, I don’t think that the shoes are really like the button of yesterday. It is not caused by my fatness – unless my whole body is becoming bloated and I have some dread disease! But, I think not.

And, to add to this, last night was a bit of a set back too. I didn’t do the ‘wine diet’ last night. F joined us in Polpetta (again!) and he wanted beer. So, I thought, OK it’s only 1 night – for this one night I change to a ‘beer diet’ – except a ‘beer diet’ WILL make you fat – so I think I will drop it tonight. Oh, yes. I also had a very tiny piece of hard cheese, a couple of pieces of salami and, unfortunately because it was really nice, a couple of small pieces of bread with some very nice ricotta. So I suppose it was more than a little set back. More of a mountain of a set back. But, as I say, it was only one night.

Tonight it will be back to the ‘wine diet’.

Oh yes, and hopefully, some sushi.

But sushi isn’t fattening and you can eat as much as you like too!

It depends on B but I’m secretly hoping that she is up for the sushi.

So it will be white wine (which, to be frank, is even less fattening than red wine) and sushi. And maybe that nice manzo that they do. It’s only a small dish so that’s not really fattening either. And they don’t do bread at sushi restaurants so it will be fine.

I confess that I lied a bit at the beginning of this post. The bit about it going rather well. Quite obviously, it’s not but, luckily, I’m not overly worried. I mean, you can’t just change these things overnight, can you? On the bright side – it has been four days since I had a Mars bar. Perhaps I will turn straight! :-D

Learning something every day. But how strange it can be.

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OK this could be a bumper day for posts. Not because I have nothing to do at work but because I have lots of things to say. But, you know how it is, sometimes the posts come and sometimes they stay as draft until, eventually, I take some random quotes from them to make a random post and then delete all the drafts. However, if I do post them, then I’ll ‘space them out’ timewise, so you won’t have to read a load of them all at once :-)

Anyway, on to the post itself.

S tells me that she needs my help because she wants to order something on the internet. She wants some false nails ……………. for her feet!

I am ashamed to say that I guffawed at this. It was a true guffaw not any limp-wristed snigger. I was in shock. I had NO IDEA! Of course, given a little bit of thought, it is obvious. If people can be worried about their appearance so much that they are prepared to have some guy/woman carve out chunks of their face, buttocks, thighs, etc. to have that perfect look or have some strange chemical injected so that they have lips that are more like Bianca Jagger’s than Bianca Jagger had or have a face that, when breaking into a smile, it looks like they have just come from the morgue, then a bit of glue and some plastic crap stuck on the end of your toes seems nothing.

But I really had no idea.

So I googled it. They even sell it on Amazon! I don’t know why but that seems to make it more respectable. Like you were buying it from Boots or Marks and Spencers. To make it even more shocking, you can get them in different varieties – short square, French bare, French sparkle, Lilac, etc.

You learn something every day.