Author Archives: Andy

An important ‘first’

Posted on by
Reply

I had given them a stern warning – before we left the house and whilst we were in the lift going up. Not that it really made any difference and it was stupid really but, still………….

This morning, I caught Rufus on the sofa. When I told F via Facebook chat, this morning, his response was – ‘He’s not stupid’ – which, indeed, he’s not. Of course, Rufus, on seeing me come out of the bedroom was off the sofa almost immediately!

It took them a while to settle. All was new although, last night, on arrival, as we walked through the door, Dino was overly excited. After all, for him, the whole flat smelt of F and so he was looking round for him. F, meanwhile, was hiding behind the door.

Then they had to smell and investigate every corner. Rufus settling much earlier than Dino, which was to be expected.

It’s not really that dog-friendly. F moved a vase with a rose in it. A little too catchable by the odd tail wag. And, of course, F has wooden floors so the clip-clip of them walking through was a bit loud but we managed. And so, it’s done. The first time there and we stayed overnight. Providing F is still OK with it, it should be fine for the future.

Of course, I shall always be worried – well, at least, for a while. That is to be expected. It will be up to F now as to how often it all happens.

Whoops, sorry …………

Posted on by
4

Yes, I know. I’ve been very remiss. I mean, it’s been almost 10 days since my last post.

There are a load of posts half-written but I just didn’t get the time to finish them off.

Best Mate came and went. We had a lovely time. Went to Venice one of the days and sat in the hot sunshine at a very nice restaurant in a little square at the back of the Duomo. F & I agree that Venice is, for us, the most romantic city in the world (that we know).

Best Mate left two days before the fun started with the volcano and the no-flights-to-almost-anywhere.

Unfortunately, the Paris colleague of F didn’t and learnt, on her way to the airport in a taxi that the flights to Paris were stopping. And, so, she’s been staying at F’s flat whilst F has been staying with me. She re-booked and re-booked and, eventually, this morning we got tickets for a train on Monday (the next available seats) and then she took today’s train – just like loads of other people, judging by the number of people sitting on cases (since all seating must be pre-booked here – at least for the decent services).

Obviously, F (and I when I wasn’t working) entertained her but she was so sweet. We had a good time. Last night we met up with L (another colleague of F’s) and her husband, L and another colleague, M and went out to Puro e Semplice where I had the best quail I have had in a long time. Not a cheap restaurant, done in the modern, simple, kinda rustic style but really excellent food. F had a cottaletta Milanese which I tried and was also fantastic. We had beer and that was wonderful too.

And I say it was really good in spite of eating out nearly all the time for, what seems, about 2 weeks and, to be honest, I am getting a bit fed up with it (words I thought I would never write!). Too much food, too much drink ……. too fat! Or, at least, that’s how I feel.

The upshot being that, even if I were rich or worked as a restaurant critic, the odd day with something really simple at home would be a must.

In other news, F has been taking the ‘babies’ (as he calls them) out quite often for walks now that they are clean and tidy.

OK so this will have to be short because I’ve just seen the time and we are off out (again) this evening with an ex-colleague who is over here from the UK for a couple of weeks, her husband and A, who has been (it would seem) abandoned by Fr who is in the south of Italy (and given that Milan airspace is closed, may be down there for a few extra days longer than expected).

Monday we were due to have an important meeting with customers from the USA but I guess that won’t happen now and so, Monday, maybe, I’ll get more chance to write up stuff.

Love me, love my dogs

Posted on by
2

That’s how it goes.  Well, there’s only the one dog but in my case there are two.

However, it isn’t supposed to be the other way around! :-D

The picture a couple of posts below, taken last weekend, shows them with their ‘shaggy’ look.  It’s a good job that they don’t have smello-internet though.

The pictures below were taken at lunchtime today, just after they had been to the barber’s.  They are adorable.  F insisted that I take them to him after I had picked them up.  He’s suggesting that he might come and take them for a walk tonight ‘because I won’t see them otherwise’.  I shall be at the airport picking up Best Mate.

He did suggest that, maybe, he could take Dino to his house tonight but then realised that it would be a problem in the morning as he was going to London and the flight is early.  Still, there’s time.  I shall offer to pick him up in the morning if he would like.  We’ll see.

Of course, I’m not actually sure that I want him to take Dino to his house as that means I won’t be there.  Far better if I were to keep Dino with me and see how long he could keep up the ‘staying away’ bit.  But, of course, I won’t.  That’s my wicked streak only.

But he is talking about ‘we’ taking them to be washed and groomed every month.  I like the ‘we’.

Si, his friend from work (and probably my first customer in my new extra career as an English Teacher (again)) said that I was very lucky that F likes my dogs because ‘he doesn’t like all dogs, you know?’.  Yes, I know – and I know he loves mine – especially Dino.

Dino

Dino, looking good!

Rufus

and Rufus not looking over 14!!

And then he calls me to ask if we can meet their Press person as she loves dogs and wants to meet them.

And so, tonight, before going to pick up Best Mate I and my two crowd-pleasers will be going for an aperitivo where they will be admired and petted and loved and F will be there, showing them off to the world.  Perhaps I should have changed the title to ‘Love my dogs’ as I don’t seem to be getting a look-in!  Good job I’m not jealous of them :-D

Everyone’s just a little nervous

Posted on by
Reply

F’s a bit nervous about meeting Best Mate.

Best Mate’s a bit nervous about meeting F.

I’m a bit nervous about them meeting each other.  It would be nice if they liked each other.  They’ll each say they like the other anyway.  Of course, I want approval from Best Mate for my choice and I want F to really like her.

But, already I am so very excited she’s coming.  And for so long.  I have booked the train for us (Best Mate and I) to go to Venice on Monday as she requested this. Maybe we’ll go to Pavia or somewhere on one of the other days.  F goes to London for the day on Friday and will be home late.  On Sunday he will be working (probably) as next week is the Salone (Furniture Fair) in Milan and, although not involved in furniture, there are so many wealthy clients that will be coming that everything has to be just-so.

So, also, Monday and Tuesday he will be busy.

Still, we have booked Baia Chia (see side) for Saturday night.  And, anyway, Best Mate and I don’t really need much to keep us entertained.

I just hope that they really like each other.

Five minutes away and yet ………

Posted on by
2

“I’m going to stay at yours tonight because I will miss you so much”

That would have been nice.  Instead, the reason given was that “I won’t see the babies”!

“But you will”, I protest.

“Yes, I know but I won’t be there with them at night”

“But you can stay, you know?”, I reply.

“Yes but you have visitors and it will be difficult”

Of course, I’m not upset that he wants to be with the dogs.  It pleases me a lot that he likes them so much but, you know, it would have been nice if he had said that he would miss me too.  I’m not really complaining though, it just crossed my mind.

Italians are funny when it comes to hospitality and staying with other people.  We (people from the UK) are definitely more relaxed about it all.  He seems to worry that he can’t stay at mine whilst Best Mate is here.  I have explained it’s OK but to no avail.

I only wonder if I will miss him so much that one night I have to go and stay with him?  Of course, as the dogs will be clean and with short hair, they could come with me – but then I would leave Best Mate alone and, so, I probably won’t.  So, 5 nights without him and yet he will be just 5 minutes down the road.  Hmmmph!

And he makes me laugh a lot

Posted on by
2

We have chatted about the dogs going to have their hair cut and made clean.  I have agreed but he wants me to come with him so that he doesn’t make any mistakes (i.e have them cut too short or something).  We agreed over the weekend that it would be done and he would make the appointment.

And then, by email, he sent me this:

Dino and Rufus

The picture, taken by him at the weekend of the boys on the balcony, seriously in need of a wash and hair cut – but it made me laugh out loud.

The Easter Bunny has left the building…….

Posted on by
2

Well, of course, as you all, probably, expected, everything was fine.  No, that’s not quite right.  It was wonderful.

It was a delightful couple of days in Pallanza, in spite of one whole 24 hours of rain.  We played cards but it was so enjoyable.  B was there, with her friend S and the four of us had fun and relaxed.  I learnt some new card games, which was good since F really likes to play cards – and really likes to win, which I find very amusing.  I was struck, from time to time, how like V he could be but there are many things, also, that are different and that I really like.

He loves the dogs so much and I love him for that.

And, although he may not say it, he makes me feel loved.  And that is, after all, what counts.

As I suspected, he wasn’t that keen on going.  Or, at least, that’s the implication afterwards.  But he really likes B (which makes me very happy as I do too) and he liked S and liked that everyone liked playing cards (including the fact that the liked that I liked playing cards) and so, after a few hours, he relaxed and enjoyed it.  And now he is talking about going back there and spending some weekends there.  And as I truly love the place, for me it is great.  And now we have something in common :-D

I suppose, the most notable event, apart from me (almost, phew!) losing the keys that B had to lend me because I had forgotten the set at home (!), was the loss of the chocolate Easter Bunny.  Bought by Betta for us to enjoy on Easter Day, we left it in the lounge/bedroom that F & I used.  The plan was that, after the meal at Osteria Dell’Angolo, we would go back, have a game of cards or two and eat the chocolate egg.

The dogs were out of the bedroom when we got back, in spite of the closed door and greeted us a little too enthusiastically.  The reason became clear.  The wrapping on the floor and one tiny bow were the only things that remained of the chocolate bunny.  I knew it was Dino since Rufus would never have done that.  Of course, it being Dino, everyone forgave him almost immediately and everyone was worried as to whether he would be OK, so it stopped me being really angry with him.

But, for me, the real highlight was the fact that F & I seemed to be closer than ever before.  And, therefore, Easter was fantastic.

We got back last night and, later, went for a pizza. He said – ‘Imagine how it would have been if I didn’t like dogs’ and, yes, it does make a huge difference that he likes them so much.

In the supermarket (Siamo in Italia)

Posted on by
2

He is at the back of the queue.  I have to squeeze past him to get the the two bags of dog food – which is all I want.  By the time I get back, he is still at the back of the queue but with a woman who, I assume initially, is his wife as he is has no basket.

They are talking.  eventually, due to the slowness of all operations, the queue edges forward.  He offers to let the woman go before him.  I see, then, that he is holding a toothbrush whilst she has a basket.  She declines but he insists, explaining that he has only the toothbrush to buy but also only has a large denomination note.  I see it, wrapped round the toothbrush.  My knowledge of large denomination notes being a bit hazy (if only I were so rich!) I suppose it is €200 or something since it is not the orange of the 50 nor the green of the 100.

When she reaches the conveyor belt she unloads her shopping but, just before the cashier starts putting it all through, she gestures to the man behind (who is immediately in front of me) to say that he only has the one thing and he should go first.  There are a few moments that must have been something like – ‘No, it’s OK, you carry on’ – ‘No, you only have the toothbrush’ – ‘But, really, it’s OK’ – ‘No, I insist’, etc, etc.

He hands the cashier the toothbrush and she rings it through.  He proffers the note, unfolding it at the same time.  I see now that it is a €500 note!

The cashier says she can’t take it.  He mumbles something about it being all he has.  She says he has to go to the main desk or, because there is some sort of strike, to the only other cashier who is wearing a white coat.  At this point, with all the time wasted, I am hoping that the other cashier is wearing a white coat so that she can take me away before I kill him, the woman who let him go or the cashier – or, all three!

He asks if what he should get is change and the cashier replies in the affirmative.  She cancels the operation and serves the woman in front whilst the man wanders off.

The cashier completes the woman’s shopping and tells her how much it is.  The woman is still putting things in bags.  She is slow.  Instead of offering the money so that things can move on, she continues to pack as if she is deaf and has not heard the cashier ask for money.

We wait.  Eventually, she has finished the packing of things into bags – two bags when it would easily have fitted into one.  The bill is €11 and something.  She hands over ten Euros.  She then proceeds to dig around her bag for her small purse with change.  It is the tiniest purse I have seen and black.  No wonder it took her five minutes to find!

She takes out all the change and proffers it to the cashier with an open palm.  The cashier takes two Euro and gives her the change.

It’s my turn.  Except the man with the toothbrush returns.  He excuses himself and I grunt.  The cashier rings up the toothbrush.  It is €2 something.  He comes out with the smallest note he had been given – €50!

This she can accept but she asks for the change as they do here – i.e. the few cents.  He explains that this is all he has.  I seriously want to kill them all at this point.  I want two bags of dog food FFS!

He pats his jacket and trousers in a show of ‘Look, I really have no money’ and then, as if by magic, puts his hand in one pocket and brings out some change!  I am gobsmacked!

He offers the change to the cashier.  She explains that, by giving him €3 in coins, it is not necessary to use the €50 note.  She takes the €3.  At this point, if there HAD been something else I am almost fairly certain that I would have killed everyone.  So, all this time he actually had the money, more or less, without needing to resort to using/changing the €500 note nor holding up everyone with long explanations of why he was using a €500 note when in fact he didn’t need to use it at all.

As I say, Siamo in Italia (sorry Lola, Pietro et al).

First Time

Posted on by
4

It will be our first time away.  That is, away – together.< More importantly, it will be the first time that we shall actually spend 24 hours together or maybe 48 or maybe a little more. Best Mate said, last night, that I worry too much.  This is true, of course.  Will we be able to stand each other for all that time together?  Will he still love me tomorrow?

We are going to Pallanza on Lake Maggiore.  We shall be with a friend of mine, B and a friend of hers over from Canada – but we shall be together for the whole time.  Perhaps even Saturday morning through to Monday evening!  Normally we have quite a number of hours apart – in our respective homes; shopping; doing odd jobs, etc.  We’ve never spent this amount of time together – and we won’t have any other distractions.  Hmmm.

OK, but the thing is that I don’t need any other distractions, I will have him. I worry that he does need other distractions though. Anyway, I won’t be here for a couple/few days from Saturday morning, so in case I don’t get the chance to say before, have a very Happy Easter.

Gay – the new ‘black’

Posted on by
6

First, there was Mine Vaganti (Loose Cannons is the English title but the direct translation, apparently, is Wandering mines (as in sea mines used in war)).  Then there was some famous latin-pop singer.  It seems there’s a lot of it about!

Then there are the discussions about it.  First the Italians talking about the film.  The reaction, in general, is that it is a ‘nice’ film although, if the Italians talking about it had three children and the two male children were both gay, I’m really not sure how that would really go down.

And then there are the discussions about the famous latin-pop star.  They basically fall into two categories.  There is the ‘who cares – his music was crap’ to the ‘who cares in 2010′ and then there is the ‘what a surprise (not)’ to the ‘oh look, he has a biography to promote’.

Being gay has never been so ordinary nor so popular!  I guess I must also be a very fortunate homosexual too, then?  Actually, not really.  I’m a very fortunate guy, certainly.  But being gay has absolutely nothing to do with it

But I do get a little disheartened by it all.  So let’s get some things straight (so to speak).

Being gay – maybe it shouldn’t make a difference and, in many ways it doesn’t but in some ways it really does make a difference and it does mean that you have to consider every action, every word spoken, etc.

I regularly (here) see couples embracing.  In fact, for me, being British, it can be downright embarrassing on the basis that they seem only a small step from having full public sex!  But, imagine walking down the street and seeing two men or two boys doing the same thing.  It’s OK, or not?  I’m thinking that, however open-minded you may be, it may not be completely OK.  Even I would be more embarrassed than I already am!

The coming out.  There’s no right time.  Of course, there should be no need to ‘come out’ at all, you may say.  But, especially if you’re straight-acting, the automatic assumption is that you’re straight.  So, women may make passes at you; colleagues at work will talk about a beautiful women in the context of you being interested, etc.  I have no problem with women making passes at me.  It is, after all, very flattering.  However, I do feel that it would be unfair if I let them continue when there’s no chance of it going any further, don’t you?  And, so, there IS a need to come out, unfortunately. And although it’s not necessary, strictly speaking, I do really get fed up with people make lewd comments to me about females and expecting me to react in a ‘blokish’ way and, so, would love to ‘come out’ to them. I noticed that, with people who know, there are no comments about women in that way – at least not in my company.

The Family. OK so this is, probably, the hardest of them all. It doesn’t really matter how difficult it is or isn’t to come out to your friends or in the workplace – but coming out to your family is an entirely different thing. The problem here is that, however, relaxed and open-minded they may all seem (and for certain mine weren’t so I knew what the reaction would be before it ever happened), it’s an entirely different ball-game when it’s your son/brother/cousin/father/uncle etc. Even then most open of people can, deep down, harbour those prejudices that we are ‘taught’ when young. And, of course, it’s worse when it’s one of ‘your own’.

I mean, how can you face the outside world? What explaining you’ll have to do!

And, just in case you think that, just because I write all this here I am one of those people who are ‘out’ well, yes, to some degree. But not everyone knows at work and, having gone through all the crap between the ages of 18 and 25, I just can’t be bothered to go through it all again – except I find myself having to do so here, in this country where the film Mine Vaganti rings true as it would have done in the UK about 20-odd years ago!

So, although everyone ‘knew’ about Ricky, and although I don’t have any particular feeling about him (gay or not), I can feel the slightest bit sorry for him. Whether he did it now or later; whether it was for the book, to boost his flagging career or none of those (the timing would always be wrong for some people); whatever the reason, we shall never really know the reasons why he kept it secret for so long (what pressures he was under to ‘keep it all under wraps) or why he decided to come out now (maybe writing the book and seeing how his life to date was built on lies). At least he has come out and now we can get on with loving or hating his music and he can get on with his life.