It’s warm enough for cooling.

I forgot to tell you – and it was such an exciting thing!

In the car, the heater has been set, most of the winter to about 28 degrees. I really don’t like the cold.

Recently, on my way home, I have had to turn it down or, even, off. On Friday morning, as I was coming to work, it got warm enough and I turned it down to 25 degrees.

The heating works in such a way that, for the first 5 or 10 minutes, in the morning, the heater does not come on until the engine has warmed up enough. Therefore, I get to expect that there will be no heating until I have cleaned my glasses and am about to have my first cigarette.

On Friday evening, leaving work, I drove out of the gates and, as I was driving up the road, I noticed that the heating was on straight away. Then I looked at the temperature and saw that it was 24.5 degrees and it wasn’t the heating that was on but, rather, the air conditioning and the air was cool.

Fantastic! It’s now warm enough for cooling. I am very happy.

I understand a joke!

Two men are in the desert.

One says to the other ‘I am very thirsty’

The other replies ‘eighty-eight’.

I am, of course, immensely excited. I cannot believe that I got it. It is, as you may have guessed, what they call ‘lost in translation’ since it’s down to a play on words.

My Italian improves but, oh, so slowly. Obviously it would help if I practised or studied it!

Every morning I listen to the radio on the way to work. I choose to listen to a music station, not unlike how I remember Radio One was before I switched to Radio Four. I would listen to the Italian version of Radio Four (if I even knew what it was) except that I don’t really understand Italian well enough.

So, here I am listening to Radio 105 (actually not on 105 but on 99.1 or something – don’t ask, we’re in Italy) and, every morning at about 10 to 8 they have a jokes section. People phone up and leave a recorded message telling their joke. They play about 5 jokes. I listen and try to understand. Sometimes I understand two or three sentences but never enough to get the punchline.

Mondays are when they play the kids jokes. I’ve been waiting for so long now to understand a Monday morning joke (on the basis that, if it’s kids, they will tell simpler jokes and speak in simpler Italian)

And, this morning I got this one.

OK. You may not think it is funny, however, you have to translate it into Italian to get it – which means it is even better that I understood!

‘I am very thirsty’ more or less translates into Italian as ‘Ho tanta sete’. Because the ‘h’ is not pronounced in Italian, it sounds similar (particularly to my ears) to ottantasette which is 87. Unsurprisingly, then, ottantotto was the response, meaning 88.

See, it just doesn’t work in English – but I got it! Finally!

It may not be the best joke in the world but it’s the first one I have fully understood and I didn’t even think about it in English!!!! I would like to thank the kid who allowed a stranger in a very strange land to have a first and start the week off so well.