Broken resolutions and diving dogs

Approx 12 and 13 August, 2010

We are both tired but we are both, it seems, eager, to be calm and not pick a fight. My resolution from last night (see previous post) is not quite as unshakable as it was, not least, because I am tired. I resolve that my resolution still stands – but that I shall wait a little bit before announcing it – I really can’t be doing with a shouting match this morning.

I had woken when Johnny left for work – it’s not like I was sleeping soundly anyway. I and the dogs went outside. True enough, F was asleep in the car. I smoked some cigarettes and wrote the last post – long-hand as I had not brought my computer – on purpose. I wondered if Johnny had noticed F in the car on his way out.

I would have preferred to have gone and taken the dogs for a walk but the gates are operated by remote control and I cannot leave. I would have preferred not to have been there when F woke but I can’t do anything about that. F awakens and seems OK. We don’t mention last night.

As the day wears on, I am less inclined to drive a few hours back to Milan. And, anyway, F seems almost normal – unlike the raging monster of yesterday.

A, when she wakes, makes us coffee and gives us a key to a small side gate so we can get out with the dogs in future.

We take the dogs out for a walk but it is later than we would like.

The next day, we get up early (again) but, this time, we can get out and we take to dogs out on the normal walk. We go to one of the ‘free’ beaches and see what Dino and Rufus make of it this time. There is almost no one around. Rufus hangs back from the surf coming in. Dino, on the other hand, wants to paddle. F decides to take off his shorts and wade in. Dino follows.

The waves are not big but they break into white surf as they near the beach. Dino, following F, jumps the first couple of waves. F goes deeper still. Dino jumps again only this time, unfortunately, the water on the other side of the wave is much deeper and Dino sinks.

Actually, ‘sinks’ gives the wrong impression. The jump that he took and the subsequent head-long thrust into the water looks exactly like he meant to do a dive. And like someone taking a dive into water, he plunged head-first into the water, scrabbling to resurface a few seconds later.

It was one of the funniest things I have seen. F just loved it.  He now had a diving dog!!  It didn’t seem to worry Dino overly much but, still, he came out of the water. Then, of course, he needed to dry out. Normally, if on grass, he will rub himself on the grass; if at home on the carpet – here? Well, on the sand, of course! He looked really funny but we had to stop him. Thank goodness there was no one else on the beach!

In the following few days, F expanded on the single dive he did to the fact that he ‘saw him dive three times’. I say nothing since it does no harm. We wished we had a video camera and resolve that, next time, we will. However, I’m not convinced the ‘diving Dino’ will be around, next time!

Disaster!

Wednesday, 11th August, 2010

It’s 6 a.m. Actually, I’ve had less than four hours sleep. I wish I were back in Milan.

F, though adorable, is too stressed and angry with, well, everything and this is too much like V. This is both unexpected and unwelcome.

For me, a holiday is to be a relaxing thing – I would worry about getting to the airport on time, if we were flying somewhere – but, in general, it should be relaxing. Unless you have something to ‘catch’, then let’s not worry.

F had to work and the dogs had to go in for a haircut – he took them. He called me. The dogs would be ready before 1 p.m. and could I go and collect them. Of course I could.

I arrive a few minutes before, having received the text at 12.45. Not too bad. As it turns out there were other people collecting too and, as usual, they were not ready before 1 but more like 1.30.

F had pre-paid the haircut. This is a little annoying but not enough to spoil my holiday. He meets us as we’re walking back – it’s a surprise – I thought he would finish later. He hasn’t packed yet. That’s OK. Neither have I! Or, rather, I haven’t finished.

I am slow at packing – that is to say, I can be fast – but if there’s nothing to catch I just can’t be really quick.

Later I go to pick him up. We return to my place and load the car. He is unimpressed by how many bags there are! And, whilst I do understand, we’re going by car. Most of the bags are dog’s stuff.

He takes some stuff down to the car and I am to follow with the dogs and the last few bags. He phones, asking if I need help – I am taking longer because I have to close up the flat, take the rubbish out, etc. and this is all taking rather longer than expected and, certainly, rather longer than he would like.

The dogs are already driving me crazy. They know that something is happening and are constantly under my feet. I admit to being a little stressed by them but I know that once I have them in the car everything will be alright!

I get to the car, laden with stuff AND trying to keep the dogs under control. We get the dogs in (then I know they will be fine), then I start to put some bags behind my seat. And this is when it starts. He is frustrated, obviously, and starts taking it out on me – complaining that I have too much stuff (which is, probably true – a ‘dog-walking coat (in case it rains), shoes for walking in the rain, a jacket in the evenings(in case it gets chilly – we shall be in the mountains/hills, etc.).

He grabs some of the bags I have just arranged and puts them in the footwell, at his feet (which means he cannot sit properly), grumbling and complaining – “Why have you got 4 books?”, as an example.

I try to explain that there is room behind my seat but he’s not listening to me.

We go. Most of the journey is in silence except for the CDs he has made and his ‘baby talk’ to Dino.

I am not stressed but I am silent since I don’t know what to say and I am not stupid enough not to know that anything I might say may spark him off. I lived with V for 20 years. I know he hates me driving (but hates driving himself even more). He needs to chill out a bit – in general. Of course, I could suggest that but I’m not that stupid. Still, the journey is good with light traffic, so not stressful – at least, not for me!

We arrive at his brother’s place and everything seems good.

As we get our bags out of the car he says that we look like gypsies – so many bags. There is no point in arguing – and I can’t be bothered to argue with someone who won’t listen – this much I’ve learnt.

A, his sister-in-law, has prepared something to eat and we sit in the garden drinking and eating. It is lovely but although the weather is warmish, it is considerably colder here than it was in Milan! We go to bed – early. Johnny has to be up for work early in the morning and, anyway, we are tired (and some of us are fractious, it seems).

We discuss taking the dogs to the beach and decide to wait and see what time we get up in the morning. He watches some television and I start to sleep. He switches the TV off. Unfortunately, that’s when it all kicks off. Dino, having had his ears (I mean to say, ear hair, of course) trimmed, finds, as in the past, that it is tickley. Every minute or so, he shakes his head vigorously, causing his ears to slap, rather loudly, on the sides of his head. Or, he scratches them – again loudly. Or, because he can’t settle, wanders round the very small bedroom, bumping into things. Whatever it is he is doing – it is keeping us awake.

F suggests, after much ‘cazzoing’ and ‘va fan culoing’, that he will go and sleep in the car. I say (because it is true), that I had already thought of me taking Dino there and staying with him. He replies that if I do that he will go and get a train, in the morning, and go back to Milan because ‘I am crazy like that’. He is angry – but what can I do? I say ‘I guess’.

He is obviously looking for someone to fight with.

He starts. ‘You made me come down here’. ‘You wanted to come and forced me to bring you’. Blah, blah. I wait until he is finished.

‘That is neither true nor fair’, I reply.

He gets up and leaves, taking the car keys with him. Oh well, if he’s going to be a stupid arse then let him be.

Dino almost immediately stops most of the scratching and head shaking and moving around – of course.

I resolve: tomorrow, after breakfast, I and the dogs are going back to Milan!

I wake at 6 a.m.