Of course, I should say ‘no’. If anyone was asked, they would tell me, as a piece of serious advice – ‘say ‘no”.
Just say ‘NO’!
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Tag Archives: Relationships
A party – or something else?
I mean, it’s a nice idea but, the last time that we did a party with many different types of friends was when we did the ‘Leaving for Italy’ party. That was a very special event as we did not know how often, if at all, we would see these friends again. And, in fact, we have not seen most of you since we left for Italy. This may have something to do with the fact that we rarely come back to the UK.
The Island in the centre of the City; Know any good restaurants for lunch in Parma, dear reader?
Last night, we (that is V & I) were invited for dinner at FfI’s. When we reached Isola, V went ahead to her place and I went to get her some cigarettes from a place that she had told me about. It’s a slightly strange thing here because cigarettes are sold only at tabaccherias (tobacconist shops). You cannot buy them at supermarkets nor off-licences but only where they have the ‘T’ sign outside.
Kind words and deeds
V’s being very nice at the moment. In fact, this has been so since last weekend. I’m not sure why.
The week before, I would be lucky to get a reply to my “Hi” when he walked through the door of an evening. I made coffee every morning; washed up every night – until Thursday night when, because it had been a hard week at work, I just couldn’t be bothered. The following morning, I made tea, for myself only as V doesn’t really like tea.
On the Saturday morning, he didn’t make coffee when he got up, as he usually did. I asked “Are you angry with me or something?”. Apparently not.
But then, from Sunday onwards, it has been a completely different story. If I haven’t had time to do the washing up in the evening I find, later, it’s been done and coffee has been sorted, ready for the morning.
Just today, after he had been out getting some sort of shopping, he came back and we had a conversation just like nothing had been happening for the last couple of months! It was nice. It’s how I hope it will always be, although I guess there will be times where it will be like it was last week.
How friends are helping me decide; V & I make an appointment to see each other.
Last night, one of my friends picked me up and we went to Blender Bar. On the way we passed the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street. I described that flat and also the flat-with-the-terrace. My friend lives closer to my current flat and so it will come as no surprise that he prefers the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street, since it means we can still go for a drink from time to time as he is on his way back from work..
This afternoon, whilst it is still light, I go with FfI to see the flat-with-the-terrace before, supposedly, going to see the owner of the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street. Unsurprisingly, she (my friend from Isola) would prefer me to take the flat-with-the-terrace. Especially since said terrace will allow for bbqs and sunbathing – she likes to be tanned in the summer. After all, it looks much better with white clothes, doesn’t it?.
So, now, the choice is much easier, isn’t it? Or perhaps not.
So my friend, last night, was saying that as the flat-with-the-terrace didn’t have a kitchen, it would be too expensive to fit one. My Isola-friend says, of course, it will not be expensive and it will be quite easy to do. She said, this morning, after informing me of the appointment to see the flat-with-the-terrace that, after viewing, we should just cancel the appointment with the owner of the perfect-flat-on-the-perfect-street!
Still, it is nice to feel wanted, particularly right now.
Meanwhile, V & I have ‘made an appointment’ for Sunday to discuss the dividing of the ‘stuff’. We have to make the appointment because we have, more or less since the end of December, been leading entirely separate lives – sometimes, not even seeing each other for days at a time! It’s a strange period indeed.
I take a trip to the supermarket
I hate supermarket shopping. It almost always seems to put me in a bad mood, even thinking about it.
V is cooking dinner tonight so I thought I would go and get a bottle of wine. Oh, yes, and some milk.
Saying yes and deciding no; sharing – perhaps not
I’m an internet person. Italy is not, really, an internet country. I like a lot of what Italy has to offer but there are some things that Italy does not do so well, such as getting things done without a ton of paperwork; roast beef; lamb; sticking to the rules; not sticking to the rules; personal space; etc.
FfI is being so kind and helping me a lot.
She arrives at my home and we look on the internet. We make calls. We call the nice flat and the flat-on-the-perfect-street and some others.
We go for something to eat. We visit flats. We visit the nice flat. There is someone else interested. What seemed quite a big flat is suddenly quite a small flat but I don’t want to lose out and my friend really likes it (she hasn’t seen the flat-on-the-perfect-street yet).
We (I) agree to take it. I have to meet the woman on Monday night to start the contract thing. I suddenly don’t want it at all. It’s too small; it’s too far out of town; it has no character; I can’t picture my furniture in it. In fact, it’s only really redeeming feature is that it is available now (almost) and every fitting is new. But, I question, what if the flat-on-the-perfect-street (which is a bit smaller) is actually not good when I next see it? FfI and I are going on Monday night, just before I meet this woman.
After: FfI thinks it was much smaller and devoid of character as well.
We go to see another flat. In an area I don’t really know so well. The pictures make it look like some sort of penthouse. And, it has a terrace!
It’s tiny and wood everywhere. Although it has large windows the wood everywhere makes it seem dark. It’s awkwardly laid out. The terrace is huge but, obviously not used by the current tenant. There is no oven but he’s going to get a combi-oven. Hmm. I don’t really like him.
The clincher is the dogs. In answer to the question there is no doubt. No. My mind has already removed it from my list, in spite of the terrace, but now it is erased completely.
We decide to go for a pizza but end up at the Mexican. We like the Mexican. The food is superb. It’s Piedra del Sol, near Repubblica. They do great tequila cocktails. Without V being there and wanting more than 1 (or 4 or 5) the meal turned out to be so reasonably priced! We did share a main course as, normally, it is far too much for one and most of it taken home in a doggy bag. It was just right.
Today we went to a very nice flat just off Corso Buenos Aries. Like the one I had agreed to take but much more central and for the same price, more or less. Then to another near to the one I had agreed to take. It’s a definite. It’s too far out. I will call her tomorrow to say I’ve changed my mind.
So now CBA has taken over as the one that is up against the flat-on-the-perfect-street. Tomorrow night we go to see (together) flat-on-the-perfect-street and then another which is on three floors. Personally, I think it’s either CBA or flat-on-the-perfect-street.
Decisions have to be made.
Then, as we’re walking back from the other too-far-out-flat to the American Donut Café (we planned brunch) we pass a block that we both said that we would like to live in, very close to where I live now. There was one for rent. More or less the size of the one I live in now but one less bedroom. So FfI suggested living together >I’m not sure that would be perfect. I think she would get fed up with the dust from the dogs pretty damn quick. Plus she has some habits that, as a lover, I could probably cope with – as just a friend would probably have me killing her within a couple of weeks (or, even, days), even if I do love her to bits!
If it was the right price, it would be nice but…..
We shall see. Enough of looking at flats. I just want to be in somewhere and start getting back to normal even if it is the new normal (whatever that may be).
Boiled Cabbage (with mince) and flats
There’s a thing about cabbage. I love eating it (especially when V does it) but the smell of cooked cabbage, when it’s not yours, seems to pervade every corner of every room in the whole apartment block.
On different flats; the Good, the Bad but not the Ugly.
Yesterday I had written a longish post. But it just didn’t feel right. And I don’t want to turn this blog into some sort of painful car crash thing. And, anyway, that’s not really me. Well, that’s not quite true, it is a part of me but I constantly fight against those crap thoughts and do my very best to find positive things.
I went to see a flat the other night. Newly restored (still wip), it will have all new appliances (better than the current flat, for certain), new floors, newly painted walls and it is only partly furnished so some of my prized pieces of furniture can come with me.
The lady (landlady) was lovely and I think it would work. Just a little further out than I would like but you can’t have everything, I suppose. Still, it’s quite a nice residential area of Milan. I know the area a bit and it’s close to other friends which will be nice. It has some things that are not important but nice like automatic shutters (and it’s on the first floor so they will have to be shut when I am out).
There’s another one, cheaper and bigger, on the fourth floor, but no lift. I wonder how annoying that will become. What will it be like when Rufus finds it difficult to walk up and down the stairs? When I’ve a glass of wine too many? When my knee is hurting? On the plus side, it has a terrace! And it’s coming up to summer. Sipping a beer there on a warm summer evening might be worth the four flights of stairs, maybe?
Let’s look at it first.
A final note is that we are communicating. By email. This is, at the same time, good and bad. The good part is, I would hope, obvious. The bad part is that I could, quite easily, just fall back into the thing without resolving the fundamental issues which, in the long term, would prove fatal. But time is short. However, at least we are friends and it is not turning ugly.
The weekend goes according to plan; the weekend does not go according to plan
Depending, of course, on the way that you look at it and your frame of mind.
The weather was good, on Sunday. Saturday night was lovely – a meal with friends – maybe a tad too much to drink but, hey, why not?
The rest of the time was looking for flats and recovering. The looking for flats made me both happy and unhappy. Happy because I can get something I can afford that is well big enough; unhappy because it will be just me and the boys.
And, at one point we (and I say ‘we’ as it was me and FfI) went from a beautifully furnished compact but nice place in not-such-a-good area to something that can only be described as a vacated drug den in a place that looked like one of the American Projects – and both for the same price.
The nice flat also had a ‘half lift’. Obviously the building was built without a lift and they managed to fit one in but it was very narrow and you could not get more than 2 people in it- so I did wonder about me and both dogs – it would be a squeeze. However, I could move in there tomorrow and, if nothing else happens this week, I might just do that.
Of course, I would prefer to be hunting with V. However, that is not to be. But, do I get something that is big enough, just in case, like before, after several months apart we just end up back together? I wonder if he thinks of that?
Of course, this time it is different and there is part of me that says that, even if we wanted to be back together, there’s no way we can be. And there’s no way that I should let it happen anyway!
But, another part of me would have it back tomorrow – no, even this moment – even knowing that so many things remain unresolved.
We did manage to communicate over the weekend, which was more than we had for about a month and a half! We spoke about the car; the furniture; flats (our current experiences, what we were looking for, etc.) – but not about the dogs; or us; or our feelings of hurt or anger or passion or, in fact, anything that really matters.