Drinking in Italy – now there’s an “under age”?

I have mentioned this before – but then, I’ve been writing this blog for a while now, but when we first came to Italy, one of the things we found very refreshing and pleasant was the absence of drunks, even in the centre of the city.

I mean, people drink but they don’t (seem) to get drunk and, in particular contrast to the UK, for example, when drunk, they don’t become agressive. Nor do they become so drunk that they are throwing up all over the place or going to sleep (?) in the gutter, etc.

Of course, that was then. This is now. And things have changed.

Maybe you can blame it on those alcopops – made to look and taste like soft drinks. Or maybe it’s youth unemployment. I don’t know. Anyway, now it is said to be a problem, this drinking to excess, at least for young people.

So they say.

And, while looking for some information for a colleague, I saw this on the CiaoMilano (tourist) website:

Be careful: starting July 18 2009 teenage drinking is prohibited all across town and anyone who supplies youths under the age of 16 with alcohol – either wine or spirits – will face punishment.
The Milan City Council was among the first to introduce a regulation of this kind in Italy.

Whether you agree or disagree – at CiaoMilano quite frankly we find it a little over the top – please keep in mind that a fine of up to €450 will be imposed on the parents of offending children and on shopkeepers or bar owners who serve them.

I didn’t even know! Not that I hang around with those under the age of 16 (or those under the age of 30, much) – but, still, I haven’t seen signs or anything in any bars or restaurants.

And I used to think (well, I still do) that teaching kids to drink in moderation – at dinner or lunch – was a good thing. F still often has water in his wine – a way of introducing kids to wine – not making it such a big deal, like it was in the UK.

However, it seems like there’s another bit of Italian “culture” going down the drain. I’m really not sure it’s a good thing.

Mantova Festivaletteratura

Note: I wrote part of this on the train, on my way to the Mantova Festivaletteratura. 6th September. The rest is from memory.

It’s 8.15. I’m on the train. I have butterflies in my stomach, partly because I am always like this when using public transport and partly because, since last night, I have been quite excited about going to the Festival.

It is far too early to be up on a holiday but I decided, this year, to take the train rather than drive. It means I don’t have to worry about drinking, the traffic, parking, etc. But also, I think, it is much cheaper, even if I am travelling 1st class against motorway tolls and petrol.

So I sit in leather seats, in comfort, with room to move around and can relax.

As I write, we have left, exactly on time. The rail service, here, is really very good. And 1st class is worth the 5€ extra.

The countryside is not really beautiful, to me. We are in the Lombardy plain, there are no hills. The flat fields to either side are full of ready-to-harvest rice – which plants look similar to sweet corn (maize to Americans, maiz to Italians), like dead stalks rather than food, or just-harvested fields with the few inches of dried stalks left.

Occasionally we pass buildings. Old, abandoned buildings – except they aren’t really abandoned. There are telltale signs – window shutters open, a car parked outside, washing hanging from the window.

Or small villages or towns, clustered houses which end abruptly to fields of sweet corn or rice or hay.

We pass through a station called Pizzaghettone (or something like that) and then, immediately over the river Po, I assume, the other side of which is a small village – which reminds me of Crespi d’Adda – a factory (still operating) with purpose-built houses and blocks of flats nearby. I must check it out sometime.

There are points on the line where the rail is single track. the train slows and passes through wooded areas. It looks so beautiful as the early morning sunlight shines through so it is not gloomy. We could be anywhere.

We arrive, on time.

This is, in fact, the first time I have come to Mantova by train and, if I am on my own, it is certainly something to consider next time.

I walk from the station through to the centre and the Festival office. I arrive at the square near to Piazza del Erbe. There is a café there that sells some special Mantovan pastry. I stop and sit at a table. In any case, I need coffee. It is hot and perfect.

The waitress comes and I try to get what I want but, either they have run out or they don’t sell it any more. I have coffee with a doughnut. It’s not brilliant but it’s OK.

I walk round to the office. It’s the first day of the festival but there are plenty of people around. I go into the office. They have changed things around a bit. I look for Marella but can’t see her. I see Sara and the guy from Sweden or Norway or somewhere of whom, to my disgust, I can never remember his name. He’s such a nice guy too. But I am crap with names. Sara explains that Marella is not feeling well. I am disappointed because I usually spend 10 minutes chatting to her and it’s always a nice start. However, Sara sorts me out, including which events to see. I have all day and only three events so plenty of time for sitting, relaxing, drinking and eating.

So, I leave the busy office, not wanting to be a burden, knowing, having worked at the Hay Festival, that you really don’t want people just hanging about. There is work to do, after all.

I make my way up to Piazza Sordello and one of the outside cafés. I sit and, even if it is about 11 a.m., I will have a beer :-)

Except the waiter ignores me. And I read about my first event. I check the time – it starts in less than 15 minutes. I abandon my idea of a beer and get up and walk towards the location. As I near the place, I pass another cafée and decide that I will have that beer after all.

I sit outside and order. I have 10 minutes. It’s enough time.

As I drink my beer, a ‘minder’ comes with two people. Americans. Since the couple have a minder, he or she must be an author or, at least, speaker. I look at him but don’t have any idea who he is. The minder is obviously bored with them or cannot find things to say. She checks her phone. I contemplate the idea of talking to him (for his partner has gone across the street to take photos) but don’t. After all, I don’t actually know who he is and just because I speak almost the same language, doesn’t mean I have to speak to him. Indeed, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean I will like you – in fact, I don’t really have many gay friends – I find I have little in common.

I suddenly realise I am going to be late and finish my beer, pay at the counter and go to the event. It is called Translation Slam. It may have been wonderful if it had been an English author but, unfortunately, the author was Spanish – so although I understood some of the Italian, the whole thing was quite difficult to follow.

After this, it was time for lunch. Lunch, of course, had to be Griffone Bianco (see link on right). I wandered up to Piazza Erbe. I could see some of the old buildings fenced off – the earthquake near Modena affected Mantova too – but none of them seemed to have fallen down – just a few bricks or slates having fallen to the ground.

As I walked up to the restaurant, I saw Peter, sitting on his own. I went to say hello and he invited me to join him, even if he was already on desert. I had a very pleasant lunch time and we chatted and ate and drank (although he only drank water) and it took about two and a half hours.

The next event was just after 3. Steven Greenblatt. It was OK and, obviously, all his bits were in English which helps a lot :-)

On my way back to the office, I passed a shop which sold belts (amongst other things) and called in and bought a belt which I had needed for ages. Then I went to the office to enquire about Marella. Apparently she was going to come in later. But then I was off to my next event. It was Peter interviewing Aiden chambers – so all in English (with translations for the Italian audience. Mr Chmabers did seem quite a crazy guy (in what he thought) but it was interesting none the less.

During the event, Marella texted me to ask how it was going, were there many people, etc. There were a lot of people – almost full and I thought it went very well – the audience seemed to appreciate it.

Then, as Marella was now in the office, I went down to see her. Whilst waiting for her, Peter arrived and she grabbed him to ask if he would go to dinner with some important people of the Festival. Then she asked if I could come too. Is said I could for about half an hour as I had to catch a train. She said that was fine.

We got a taxi and ended up at the ‘staff canteen’. Mantova has an enormous number of volunteers – mostly kids from schools and universities and the one thing that Mantova does well is look after them. They have a huge canteen serving food all day and evening. I found it amusing that we were going to dinner there – what with such important people in Mantova!

We followed Marella into the ‘authors & special people’ dining room – away from the hordes of kids (thank goodness). There were about 10 very large, round tables, with tableclothes on. We were introduced to these people (a couple – the woman of which I had seen at Peter’s gig). Then we got food from where they were serving and sat down.

Considering these people had really wanted Peter to come, they hardly spoke to him which both Peter and I found quite strange. In fact, the guy spoke more to me – about the dogs, as it happens.

And, finally, Marella and I got a few moments to talk when I promised to try and bring F (and, maybe, the dogs) there next year. Well, he’s met Lola now and likes both her and G, so I’m on a roll right now!

Of course, because the time was short, I completely forgot to ask about Marella’s daughter – which I felt terrible about afterwards.

I left quite soon and walked to the station. I arrived with a few minutes to spare and got on the train. It left on time but, unfortunately, there was a delay on the way back (another train in front had some problems) and so I didn’t get into Milan until 11.30.

But, I thought as I caught the tram back – here (as opposed to Hay), I can wear my sandals all day and night – and that makes everything so much more pleasant.

However, I had a super day and was so glad that Marella (even though slightly sickly) was able to come. I’m sure that, without her (sorry Sara), the festival wouldn’t actually be quite the same at all.

So, next year, I have to try and persuade F to take a day off and come – even if it is his busy time of year.

Shit City

Well, it was a bit of a disaster alright, last night, but not at all in the way that I had thought.

It was, in fact, what I used to call ‘shit city’.

Great piles of the stuff, mostly on the newspaper but, when the newspaper ran out of space, the floor.

And I do mean huge piles of it. So much so that I ‘growled’ at Dino. Obviously, TLB (The Little Bastard – my new name for Piero) could not possibly have done it all.

However, after cleaning up, I took them out for a walk. We were out for about an hour and a half. At the start of the walk, Dino did a pooh which was normal. It made me doubt that any of the shit in shit city could be his …… and, yet?

On the way back, when we were nearly home, Piero had diarrhoea. So, it WAS him after all. I really don’t know how he fitted it all in his body in the first place!

The ‘culprit’ was a pine cone from a display we had had at Christmas. He’s been used to picking pine cones up in the pineta and thought this was the same. However, it probably had some ‘stuff’ on it that, I guess, wasn’t good for him.

Anyway, it all seems better this morning. We shall see tonight.

On the plus side, there was no damage done (that I could find), nor was anything ‘taken’. Let’s hope it continues!

Secret things

Of course, I may be wrong.

Last night, I got home from the beach about 6.30. Almost immediately, I knew there was ‘something’. Piero had been chewing the newspaper I had left on the floor for him to pee and pooh on (not that he seems to need it). I have a theory about the chewing of newspaper – he only does it after he has been ‘disturbed’.

I went into the kitchen to have some milk as I am wont to do in this hot weather and noticed that the rubbish bag for plastic was not where I had left it. In fact, it was nowhere to be found. But when I opened the fridge I saw a bag had been left for me with food. Also the normal bin had been emptied. F’s mum had been in.

Yesterday, at the beach, F’s niece and boyfriend had come to the beach about lunchtime. I was eating my lunch – an ice-cream. I told them this and they laughed as I expected.

Today, she comes again and this time comes with a small tub of diced water melon for me. And she has tried to ring the vet.

I think they are all trying to look after me. And, I suspect, that F has something to do with this!

It’s kinda sweet, really, even if I don’t really NEED looking after. Still, we are in Italy and children stay children forever and, as I am F’s partner, I guess I qualify as a kind of surrogate child. Bless them.

I am not a child

You would think that, at some point in your life, you would grow up. I wonder what it takes? I wonder what it is for others to be “grown up”?

I am not incapable and, as an adult of some advanced years, I can DO things. It’s not as if I’m helpless.

And yet ……

I dropped him at the station. We were early. Of course we were early. For he is worse than me when it comes to public transport.

“I will wait with you”, I had said.

But no, it was not necessary.

“But I can help you with your suitcase. Lift it onto the train for you. With your bad back, it will be better.”

“And who will help me in Milan”, he said, dismissing my argument.

I tried to suggest that, by me helping here and after over 3 hours relaxing on the train, he would, maybe, have a better back. But it came out mumbled and wrong. I was incoherent putting my clear thoughts into words that he would understand.

I offered to stay a few more times but he was having none of it. And my arguments were weak.

He stopped the car and got out, opening the boot. I got out and got his suitcase out.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to wait with you?”, I asked.

No, I should get back and go to the beach. There was, apparently, no reason for me to stay.

“I would wait with you because I love you”.

There, finally said. The only reason. He kisses me on the lips.

And then he walks away.

And every time he’s not there leaves a hole as if I’m not quite whole without him.

I drive back and, suddenly, everything I do in this strange and foreign land is a battle, something where I must force myself into action.

When I get back home, Dino looks past me as I open the door. Looks past me to F, who isn’t there. It’s as if I’m not quite good enough, as if it’s all not quite complete. Which, of course, it isn’t. And Dino knows that well enough.

I come to the beach. People greet me as I come or, later, as I’m sitting here, reading my book or typing this, as they come.

But it’s not the same.

Tonight I have some leftovers from our lunch at his Mum and Dad’s (our first meal there this holiday – but that’s another post) and I have wine and the dogs.

He has suggested that I take a walk to the centre of the town (and, yet, here it’s not a town – more like a really large village or a suburb – even if there’s a castle tower in the centre) with the dogs, like we often do, and buy an ice-cream and take them for a while in the newly discovered and rather nice dog area.

But these things frighten me. Not so that I won’t do it but enough to make it doubtful. For there I will have to interact and I don’t have his charm or style. Or language, of course.

If I were about 5, I am sure I would wail and howl with this feeling of abandonment, with this feeling of being so alone.

But that’s quite stupid, as I well know. I can get by. I can walk the dogs this evening and get and ice-cream. But it all takes such an effort and such resolve by me to do even the simplest thing.

Without him.

And yet ……

I am not a child.

Social or Anti

I don’t know why but during the weekend I kept thinking of my parents. Well, not thinking of them, exactly, but rather how much they wouldn’t like this. This thing that I do now.

I always thought that I would never pay to go onto a beach. But I used to hate carrying everything. Not that I actually carried everything, of course, but as I was the eldest, it was always more. And, instead of setting up camp near the entrance to the beach, we always had to go where there was no one else. Which meant walking on the beach. And walking. And walking. Laden as we were with deckchairs and windbreaks and costumes and food. And walking until I thought I would die. Or felt I would die. Or wanted to die with shame and embarrassment.

Even when we arrived at what seemed to be the furthest possible location, it wasn’t finished. For there was the setting up of the windbreak, the deck chairs, the changing into costumes, one at a time, using this thing that my Mum had fashioned out of, what seemed to be some sort of toweling but was almost like a curtain – but a very ugly curtain, with elastic at the top or drawstrings or something so that it covered you from the neck down. I absolutely HATED changing on the beach.

Then there was the food. We were a family of 6 so there was a lot of food. Sandwiches made that morning, sausage rolls made last week and kept in tupperware, rock cakes, hard boiled eggs. And other stuff.

It all seemed such a palaver.

But, being 6, I guess they couldn’t afford to go to restaurants and we didn’t have burger places then – except Wimpy, which was dreadful (not that the burger places now are much good). I understand now and I think I understood then.

That doesn’t mean I liked it. I didn’t. I HATED it. I hated everything about it. It’s like we were some sort of tribe, invading the beach. But with the embarrassment of it all I was, kind of, glad that we weren’t near other people. But they seemed to hate it when other people came near. If someone pitched up near to us they would complain and ask (themselves) why the person had to park themselves so close to us.

And, on reflection, perhaps that is one of the reasons I find it hard to socialise, in general. I wasn’t brought up to socialise, I guess.

Of course, in the early evening (unless the weather was not so good) we had to reverse all this. Packing away the food left-overs, uprooting the windbreak and rolling it up, collapsing the deckchairs. Getting changed again using the stupid and hateful changing robe thing. And then carrying the whole lot back to the car.

However, now, I love the fact that we just go to the beach. We take towels. We take personal stuff. But we don’t have to take deckchairs or food or an umbrella or a windbreak. It’s not a 6-mile hike to the spot we have. Of course, there are people always nearby. It’s not like we can hide away. And because F is from there and so are many people on the beach and that we share an umbrella with another couple (who only come for about an hour), you can’t really NOT talk to anyone.

But it’s nice.

And, coming back to the point, a lifetime away from anything my parents would have done.

I am really ready for this

The holiday starts next Friday and I can hardly wait.

I am so busy at the moment that I seem to not even have a second to myself. Of course, that’s an exaggeration – especially as every weekend we are away. But it does feel like it.

So, three weeks away (F is only coming the first two) – with time to relax, is definitely a need.

Who knows, we might even get to meet up with Lola. I’ve mentioned it to F and he thinks we might make Pietrasanta the place to meet as we’re supposed to go to some restaurant there. It’s run by the nephew or someone connected to the woman vet who has the umbrella just in front of us.

And we have to go to La Brace ‘cos F really wants to go there (we didn’t go last year).

And we have to do other things. Hmm. I can see it will be just as busy – but at least it will involve much eating and drinking ;-)

I am not 20

Personally, I think it was the last mojito that did it. After all, it wasn’t a mojito at all but, rather than rum, was something else entirely.

I was, as said by one of the characters in the Fast Show, Rowley Birkin QC, and shown below, very, very drunk.

Of course, I didn’t go out with the intention of ending up completely wasted. No, no. It was just a meal out with friends. We didn’t even start off by drinking much. OK so an aperitivo at the bar we all met up in. And, I suppose, I did drink most of E’s drink since she didn’t like it.

Then we ahd some wine with the meal. Well, three bottles of the good stuff and a carafe of the house wine but that was between six of us.

OK so one person hardly drunk any, another only slightly more, so I guess effectively 4 bottles between 4 which, I suppose, is a bottle each.

But it was the beach party that did it really.

One of the nice things about Italy is the cocktails. There’s no such thing as gills. Or is it gils? In any event – measuring. They don’t do it.

Since the barman was the son of E (who’s drink I had nearly drunk earlier), he did the mojitos for me and Alf. I’m not a fan but it was a disco (with the dreadful Italian summer music) and there was sand beneath my feet and it was warm and people were dancing and it seemed to go down quite well.

At some point, someone mentioned going for a swim in the sea but, even in my inebriated state, I knew that was dangerous and declined – saying it was dangerous. In the end, no one did go for a swim. Maybe I had frightened them. Or, at least, made them think.

I wasn’t going to have another but, you know, it seemed we weren’t likely to go home any time soon and so, I thought, why not?

Of course, in the light of day there were a million and one reasons why not. But it was not the light of day but about 1 a.m. These reasons did not even cross my mind. But, apparently, they had run out of rum and so our wonderful new friend, the barman, suggested something else which we agreed to try.

To be honest, by then, it could well have been antifreeze and I would have drunk it. Perhaps it was antifreeze? I drank it anyway. And then I remember very little until about 7 a.m. when I first woke up.

Not when I GOT up, mind you. Just woke up. The dogs were being a bit of a pain so I let them out in the garden.

F woke up about 10.15. I had woken up several times between 7 and then. We got up and took the dogs out.

In the end, we got to the beach about 12.30 – about 3 hours later than we usually do. As F said, we shouldn’t really do this very often and I totally agree. It’s not like we’re 20 any more.

Still it was a nice evening. From what I recall!

We’re going in opposite directions

Well, the non-diet I’m on at the moment seems to be working well. Actually, I’m not on any diet at all, indulging, as I am in all my favourite things which mostly include wine and beer in this hot weather. However, I’m trying not to eat any bread, especially at lunchtime, at work and I’m having much smaller portions – and, you know, I don’t miss having larger portions!

So that’s good. I’m getting smaller (but not by much).

I’m also getting more tired. This 5.30 lark is not fun. I look forward to the time when I can stay in bed that extra 15 minutes. I know, it sounds stupid and it’s true, it’s probably psychological, but the difference is immense.

With the tiredness, of course, comes lethargy and a lack of energy.

On the other hand, the exact opposite is happening with Piero. He is getting larger (as he should), less tired (on our walks he now keeps up with (and tries to play with) Dino nearly all the way) and stronger (he’s less easily batted away by Dino).

So we’re heading in opposite directions, he and I.

But, in spite of my last post, I just want to say that this morning, he did another pooh outside. Yay! And it was a BIG one so he must have saved it up overnight :-)

You see him, watching Dino, checking what he’s ‘supposed’ to be doing. He is curious, not really understanding this cocking of the leg business and, of course, he won’t be cocking HIS leg for a while yet – but you can see he’s paying attention – getting ready.

OK then, enough of peeing and poohing :-D

In preparation.

Well, I think it’s as good as it will get – subject to plastic around important legs, which will have to wait.

Of course, I THINK it’s OK but know, in my heart, that I have, quite obviously, missed something.

There are, one hopes, what with F buying something every time he goes abroad, enough toys to keep the little bugger occupied. In the process I have cleared out some food in the fridge and found that I have far too much wine. Maybe I should drink more? ;-)

Tonight, we should be going out with the Austrian friend and her husband. They are here to select clothes for next year, it being the start of the showroom sales.

Next week is the Paris fashion shows, so F is in Paris next weekend. Dino and I will be going to Carrara, even if I prefer to be with F.

I have suggested to Best Mate, that she comes for the first week in August (as F will be working and I shall be in the first week of my three-week holiday) – she can get a cheapish flight to Pisa and we can spend the days on the beach or sight-seeing or something. I don’t think she will come but it would be rather nice. And it would be a weeks holiday for her.

Of course, there will also be Piero, which makes it more fun. We could have barbeques in the back garden and stuff. Yes, it would be all rather fun, I think. I hope she says ‘yes’.

This afternoon, we are going to see Piero and, hopefully, choose. F says that he will like them all and be unable to choose, so I will do it. He says that he will always, then, prefer one of the others. But I think there will be ‘the one’ – and you know that I always believe in ‘the one’ for both dogs and boyfriends :-D

In the meantime, these next few weeks will be SO busy, with hardly an evening or weekend free to do anything. Weekends in Carrara being the only time to relax. And then comes Piero – so even more so. But it’s OK. It will be fun, I know that much.