Author Archives: Andy

The Hunt – counselling afterwards, anyone?

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I watched “The Hunt” (original title Jagten) last night.

It’s a Danish film and was given high ratings. But this is not a film that’s going to make you laugh. In no way is it light. In fact, it’s one of those films that makes you want to turn away (or, even, switch it off/walk out), sometimes.

But, more importantly than that, it is truly disturbing. It is disturbing on many counts. There were many times one could see the “mistakes” being made. There were many times you could see people making up their minds and, once they were made, they seemed unchangeable. There were many times you wanted to shout out “run” – to many of the people.

It shows the power of an untruth and how people make their minds up based on the flimsiest of information. It shows the destruction of trust and the untenability of friendships.

It is a powerful film but, in my mind, it shouldn’t be shown without some sort of discussion afterwards. Everyone should see it but, at the same time, it almost needs some couselling afterwards.

Horrible subject but great film with a totally expected and yet unexpected ending. Not a happy ending either – it leaves everything open. You don’t really know everything – as it would be in real life. It doesn’t pretend to answer the questions it poses. In fact, it not only doesn’t pretend to but leaves whose questions hanging on purpose.

Not for the fainthearted but I do suggest you watch it.

I know her! (No, not in THAT way)

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The car pulls up to the kerb.

I am standing on the pavement by the bank, sort of opposite my house.

It’s not really that warm but warm enough.

The car door opens. She swings her legs out of the car like a proper lady and starts to get out.

I am struck by the fact that she is wearing a black coat or long dress which is either open or split down the front.

You can see she has beautiful legs and, underneath, is wearing blank panties and black suspenders and stockings.

I am surprised she isn’t trying to hide them.

Then I look at her face and see that she is, in fact, on of the prostitutes that is a regular in my area*.

Then I wake up. It lasted for all of a couple of seconds.

*The area where I live is a nice area but the main road is one of the main roads in Milan and, so, the prostitutes are there. Hey, look, don’t judge – this is a country where you quite often see prostitutes in the middle of the country, seemingly miles from anywhere, on major roads, sitting in sun-chairs whilst waiting for their next trick! They don’t hide away here.

Unbelievable!

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I’ve always found it somewhat amazing that, when someone finds out their partner has been having an affair, that person often attacks the person who has been with their partner and not their partner.

I don’t understand.

You can’t blame the “other person”. If your partner has strayed then the problem is surely with either your partner or your relationship or you or all of the above. Therefore, to attack the “other” seems quite stupid and unproductive.

I’m reminded of this by this morning’s online Daily HateMail. It suggests that the Guardian were wrong to print details about the NSA story and even more wrong to allow the “sensitive personal details” of UK agents to be carried across borders. In fact, it is calling for the Guardian to be prosecuted.

And, to me, this is a little like “my partner’s having an affair so I’ll attack the other person”.

If any prosecutions were to be made let’s go to the source of the problem.

The Guardian got the data from Snowden. Snowden was a contractor working for a company that was employed by the NSA. In fact, many, many contractors work with the NSA. If one of the contractors took some information, surely the responsibility for that lies with the NSA. The NSA have the responsibility to make sure that everything they do and everything they hold is “secret” – i.e. not available to the public. That’s their job, isn’t it?

So, whether it’s right for them to obtain this data in the first place is not the point. If their job is keeping secrets safe, and some of those secrets got out, it makes them:

a) crap at the job they’re doing and
b) responsible for the leak.

So, surely, they’re the ones that should be sued?

But, of course, the British Government can hardly sue the secret agency that the British secret agencies are helping. I mean that would be stupid, wouldn’t it?

However, bringing it back to my analogy, surely one should be looking at the “relationship” and trying to fix the problem with that!

Dino Forever

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Some time ago (about March of this year), I spotted something in one of the UK newspapers. It was about a company that made silver jewellery using a mould of your dog’s (or cat’s) nose. Apparently, a dog’s nose is a little like our fingerprint – unique to every dog.

Of course, given F’s love for Dino, I had this immediate image of, effectively, keeping Dino forever – at least for him.

I ordered this model of Dino’s nose.

Some time later I got the plasticine-like stuff and instructions on how to get the imprint.

There were two coloured plasticine-like balls, one blue and one white. You had to mix them together, split them into two and take two imprints.

You had to be quite quick with this as, once mixed together, the stuff became solid.

I did it and sent them off.

Back came an email saying that the moulds weren’t quite good enough – I hadn’t really got the whole nose. They sent me another impression kit. I tried again but, really, wasn’t so happy with the result.

Having sent these off, they emailed to say what they had was good enough.

However, if I were to do it again, given that my dogs are medium-large, I wouldn’t split the stuff in two. That was the problem. If it had been kept as one piece, I think the result would have been much better.

Eventually, the token arrived. As this was going to be a present for F, I had it made into a keyring – he doesn’t wear any jewellery. But, for me, the necklace would have been nice.

It arrived just after the summer holidays which was perfect timing as it was our anniversary yesterday and, obviously, this was the perfect anniversary present. And it was very well received.

So, here is a picture that F took last night:

Dino's Nose in solid silver

Rather excellent, isn’t it?

F was really delighted so it was worth it in terms of time spent and the money (for it’s not really cheap).

If you would like to get one, go to Snozza’a website.

If you want any advice BEFORE you take the imprint, give me a shout :-)

In the meantime, as it was so successful, I’ve just ordered the cufflinks from the dogs’ paws. This time there will be one of the cufflinks with Dino’s pawprint and one with Piero’s pawprint – reduced sizes, of course! It’s for Christmas. I think he’ll like it :-)

Pizza – is that a female pizzo?

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Today I learnt ……

Some years ago, V and I, having got very friendly with a shop assistant in a designer shop, were invited to her house for dinner. OK, that’s not normal but she was English and therefore we developed a kind of friendship, as one does.

During that dinner, they told us about their lives including the bit about having a bar/club. They were approached by some rather unsavoury persons to pay some “money” for protection purposes. They refused, of course. They were then threatened with closure. But, the club wasn’t burnt to the ground, rather, the place was to be found heaving with drug pushers (inside and out) and the police came and made a raid and, effectively, closed the club (for the unsavoury guys?) Or it was something like that.

Although it was a little “shocking” to us innocent Brits-just-landed, it was, kind of, expected in this Land of the Mafia.

And, last night (rather than today), I learnt that this money is also paid if you have a restaurant. It’s called “pizzo” and is not the masculine version of pizza.

In this case, I was told, the restaurant owners were “lucky”. After some three visits by some suitably unsavoury characters, on the third visit when the threats were getting rather more severe, “luckily” the conversation was overheard by a regular customer who “fixed” the problem as he “belonged” to a different “clan”.

This wasn’t 20 years ago but rather more recently (like this year). The blame (by the others I was talking with) was put on the heads of the politicians but, of course, it’s not quite as simple as all that. Especially as the politicians, like Berlusconi, are probably in hock to these people and, therefore, the country is, most likely, really run by the “Mafia” anyway.

Instead, of course, one must blame “the people” since, by continuing to accept that pizzo is the norm, validate and give this “tax” a continuity that, by not paying it, it would not have, they are truly “responsible”.

It’s easy for me to say. If I were in the same situation, would I be prepared to lose all my money and hard work (as in the first case) or pay up and keep my place? More importantly, would you? In fact, could you? Could you lose everything you’ve worked for just because you didn’t want to pay the pizzo?

Difficult questions in a difficult country. And, remember, we’re not talking about the unruly South here. We’re talking about the International Finance/Fashion Centre that is Milan!

Solve this problem and Italy would be a different country.

p.s. by using the term “Mafia”, I refer to all the clans that make up the underworld in Italy.

Some more “funding” that I’ve done recently

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I’ve mentioned before that I have funded (or attempted to fund) some things by way of Kickstarter.

Unfortunately, the first time was not successful – but I was doing it to help a friend out here, in Milan. It was rather a lot of money to raise but it’s still a shame that he didn’t make it.

Then I discovered “film”. And with that came my first “success”, Nina Forever, in that it was fully funded and so, in theory, sometime about this time next year, I will receive a DVD copy of the film, my name listed with heartfelt thanks on the Nina Forever website, Facebook and Twitter, 24 unique jpeg frames from the film, a personalised letter-pressed thank you card and a Nina Forever temporary tattoo.

I am, of course, terribly excited about the tattoo!

I recently funded How To be Dead which is an expanded version of How to be Dead – The Death Guide to Life which I enjoyed very much. The target was £400 and it’s easily beaten that.

For backing this book, I will be getting a digital and paperback copy of How To Be Dead, a mention in the Thank You section, a business card and badge, a letter of thanks from Death himself, a mug for tea drinking while reading, and a Death logo t-shirt.

Probably the mug is the deciding “prize” here :-)

Although it is already fully funded you can, in fact, for the next couple of days and for a few pounds, get in on the act. It closes on Friday. As I’ve said, it’s already fully funded (almost 10 times overfunded) but the things you get for your investment are, as an American would say, AWESOME!

Today, I have pledged something for Renata Road, another film that looks quite interesting.

If they get funding, then I will get my name in the film’s credits, a digital download of the final film, a DVD of the final film plus 4 original shorts from Beyond The Bar that led to the creation of The Renata Road, my DVD will be signed by the cast and director AND I will receive signed photos of the cast and director PLUS a signed copy of the script (writers, cast & director). Which will all get to me about this time next year – IF it gets funded. It needs slightly more than £1000 per day being pledged to get to the target and, like How to be Dead, it finishes on Friday.

So if you want to try it out, be my guest.

I find it kind of addictive and a little like gambling except that, if it doesn’t reach its target, you don’t lose any money.

If I’m honest, I try to fund those that are British and I like the idea of physical stuff (DVD or book) so I have NOT funded those which, for instance, offer only a digital download.

Anyway, it’s fun.

Let’s hope Renata Road gets the money it needs!

Disgrace!

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1 in every 2 to 3 are unemployed.

That’s young people.

It’s a disgrace both for Italy’s politicians but also for everyone else in Italy (employers, trade unions, etc.)

It doesn’t bode well for the future of Italy but this is a country run by old men (even older than me!)

It’s a disgrace, I say.

Just like Christmas?

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I arrived home on Friday evening, having picked F up from the airport, to find a stack of goodies that had come in the post.

First there was an eBook reader that I had bought at a discount. This is to stop what happened during the summer where I was left for almost a week without a book. In future, I shall have books wherever I am (in theory). It’s taken me most of the weekend to set it up but now I have one book already on and I shall look for more in the coming weeks.

There were also a number of (real) books that I had ordered. Having finished Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel, I am now ready for the next one which is a choice between:
The Tenth Chamber – Glenn Cooper, the third in the series;
The Weekend – Peter Cameron, who I saw this year at the Mantova Festivaletteratura;
The Haunting Of Hill House – Shirley Jackson;
Maddaddam – Margaret Atwood, the third in the series.

I also received a calendar for next year. This, you might think, is not so special except that the first photograph (for January) was taken by Best Mate’s eldest daughter, so rather special.

The weather is quite crap now. It’s much cooler and we had a lot of rain overnight although, in spite of the forecast, it hasn’t been raining all day.

All made up for by the fact that Friday night almost seemed like Christmas :-)

G*y Best Friend?

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Nearly all my best friends (although I only have one “Best Mate”) tend to be straight females. Some are straight males. Absolutely none are gay males.

So I’m disappointed to see that Tesco seem to have pulled the chance for me to have a gay best friend of my own! :'(

Read all about it here and tell me who wouldn’t want an gay male blow-up doll? Hahahahahaha

Being at home; Opinions

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Well, it looks like last weekend was the last time in Carrara until next spring/summer :-(

This weekend, if the weather forecast had been good, we were going to go down but the forecast strongly suggests that it will rain all day on Sunday so we’ve decided not to go. Instead it will be our first weekend in Milan for ages.

To be honest, I am quite looking forward to it. There are things that I haven’t done at home that, in theory, I can do this weekend. Bits of sorting out, etc.

I say “in theory” because, normally this would be true except that this weekend, F has someone staying at his flat and so he will be with me, in my flat, ALL weekend. It may not stop me doing everything but it will be a hindrance. Also, I won’t be able to start watching things I have been “saving up”. Things that I wouldn’t watch with him (i.e. films in English; films of a genre that I know he doesn’t like, etc.)

Among these things is Game of Thrones. Someone told me that, having watched the first episode, they were hooked and told me to watch the first one and I would understand. So I did. And I don’t. However, that hasn’t stopped me watching the second and third episodes. And I shall be watching the rest of the first series but after that, I’m not sure.

You see, I’m not convinced that it is really good. So, why am I watching it still, you may ask? Well, because I have hardly watched anything “English” since the spring – discounting short clips or YouTube videos and, after such a long time (a little like the books this summer, I guess) I’m kinda thirsty for hearing the English spoken word and so, almost anything goes.

So, I’m not sure if it’s my thirst for English driving my desire or if it’s really good. I know that, were I still in England, I would have watched the (first) series but here, as it’s more difficult for me to watch English stuff, I tend to be more discerning since it takes time to get hold of stuff and it costs.

Of course, when I say “discerning” this is not strictly true. I did, over the last few weeks watch the series called Episodes. Again this was a recommendation. It was OK. It’s a sitcom. Sitcoms are OK. They are not WOW!

I suppose that what I’m saying is that, in the UK, I would plonk myself in front of the TV and watch something. Anything. Every evening. Flicking through the channels until settling on something even if it was only the least-worst thing on at that moment. Some things were, of course, genuinely good. A couple of things that spring to mind are Fawlty Towers and The Sopranos. I did get Broadchurch (TV series) and, have to say that I really did enjoy that.

I realise that I’m a long way behind with Game of Thrones but, for me, that’s OK. Since I don’t have to wait for a whole week until the next episode, I can catch up not having “other programs” in the way.

Anyway, my suggesting that Game of Thrones may not be the most-wonderful-thing-to-have-hit-the-small-screen-since-the-last-most-wonderful-thing may cause some people to be upset. And can I say that I’m genuinely sorry about that. But it is, I would like to say, only MY OPINION.

In the same way that, in my opinion, authors who are gay and write about gay things don’t write good books. Of course, I haven’t read every gay author so I may be wrong. it is from my experience. The gay books by gay authors that I HAVE read aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be. I’m not saying they’re not good writers. It’s just that the books don’t say anything to me – they don’t bear any relationship to the reality of my life and, so, are unreal. I know, I know. When I can read books that are obviously fiction (SF, for example) – but those books aren’t pretending to be about real life. Books about gay people, for me, should have some elements that I can relate to. So far, they don’t. And so, in my limited experience, gay books written by gay authors are “no good”.

Which leads me onto the current story about some almost unknown author who has, apparently, made an inference that books by women, homosexuals and Chinese people are not good.

Except, he didn’t really say that. What he said was (and I paraphrase) that he hasn’t read many books by these authors that he feels passionate enough about to teach them and that, the only books he can be passionate enough about to teach are, in the main, by white, middle-class, middle-aged men.

Now there’s a whole storm brewed up here and on Twitter about him.

Which is a shame as he was asked for his opinion and he gave it. Whereas I may or may not like the man in person, his choice of reading material for his courses are entirely his concern. He may, in the opinion of many it seems, be a self-righteous prick and worse but I’m guessing he’s good at his job and, out of the hundreds of thousands or, maybe, hundreds of millions, of books to choose, he has chosen particular ones. to be pilloried for stating his opinion is a bit much. But this is the world we have created for ourselves, I guess.

Anyway, a good weekend to all and see you on the other side :-D