Category Archives: Friends and Inimies

Don’t have enemies. It’s not good for you. So, that’ll be just friends, then.

Is that it?

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Is that it?

The first day of September. Not, officially, the first day of autumn – but it might as well be. Thunderstorms and showers – oh, yes, and a bit of sun. It’s still warm though, which is nice. I mean, warm enough to still be wearing sandals and a T-shirt (although, as I write this I am not wearing those things – but I was at 6 a.m. this morning).

And I’m sure that it’s not it, really. I’m sure we shall have some really nice warm days during September and, if we’re lucky, through to October too!

I went out for a drink last night with An, F’s friend. On waking this morning I got the usual after-a-night-drinking-and-having-too-many-and-not-keeping-my-mouth-shut thoughts. I.e. I said too much about F and stuff. I shouldn’t. But it’s ages since I’ve been able to ‘chat’ with someone. Especially a woman and so I kind of ‘let go’. Damn. Oh well, I’ll get over it.

F is away. I join him tonight. Me and the dogs. The weather will be better apart from, maybe, Sunday. But it’s OK anyway.

Gossip. Well, I’m not one to pass it on. Or, maybe I am? Or not?

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Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

Like I said, yesterday, it’s the pettiness, here, that I can’t stand.

What I dislike, also, is gossip.

And, yet, I do like it. So, aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh! Hearing some gossip today about a former friend I found myself wanting to tell someone. Except there is no one to tell! And even if I could tell, I wouldn’t because it would seem like crowing and I really don’t want to crow – because it’s quite sad, really.

On hearing the news, I was hardly surprised. There’s form, you see? Nor was I surprised at the reaction it got, for that is always the reaction. To be honest, I was slightly pleased about it all. As they say, a leopard can’t change its spots ……. but then I was rather disgusted with myself. After all, it could be me. But it’s not.

And, then, afterwards, I wanted to talk to someone else about it. At the same time, I don’t want to discuss it as it has no real effect on me and neither should it. Luckily, there is no one to talk to about it and so, I won’t. Good.

What annoyed me though is my urge to talk to someone. To keep the gossip going with, of course, my own interpretation …… my own little spin.

But I didn’t. And I’m not going to talk about it here, either.

So aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh again. And now let’s forget it, eh?

Orsoblu; French = gay?????

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Well, it was far better than the last deal we went to, that’s for sure.

Another Groupon deal, this time Orsoblu, picked especially because not only was it close but it was also a fish restaurant.

The interior is smart, modern, chic and ……. well, …….. blue. It was a Monday so it was fairly quiet but that was fine. It was a fixed menu, since that was part of the deal. We chose (well, he chose) the wine. It was some Chardonnay. It was quite nice.

It took some while for each of the courses but that’s OK. I don’t mind waiting except that it was a Monday night and, because I had had a lesson booked (which was subsequently cancelled), I had booked it for 9.

There was the antipasto. Nicely presented. It included a raw shrimp, some salmon, a scallop (as an aside, I could not remember the English word for this. I had to look up the Italian – cappesante – which I remembered. This is shocking and, to be honest very annoying. It’s not as if I could spell the word correctly in Italian anyway, so that makes it even worse!!), some unidentified white fish, a mussel and something that was like a lump of polenta – oh, and a razor fish. It was quite nice. Too much bread-crumbing for me, personally (the scallop, the mussel), however, the razor fish (which I’ve had once before, bread-crumbed) was not bread-crumbed and therefore better, although I’m not sure if it’s quite as good as it should be – I’m not sure what to expect with razor fish. I mean, there’s hardly anything there! It was the first time he had had it so he wasn’t sure how to eat it. That made me smile.

Then there was the primi. On each plate was some sort of pasta (like slightly flat spaghetti) with clams – this was nice and some risotto. The risotto was flavoured with orange and was ‘fishy’ – i.e. had some fish thing going on – but I’ve no idea what. Still, they were both very nice.

Then we had the main course. Half of a very well filleted branzino (Sea Bass), with a sauce that was quite rich, with mushrooms (that were quite nice) and some breaded pieces of potatoes, roasted or fried. The taste of the branzino was a little lost in the richness of the sauce but it was well done.

Then we had cannoli. This is a particularly Sicilian sweet. Quite often filled with ricotta cheese. A lot of Italians love it. As far as I’m concerned, it is OK but a bit too sickly sweet for me. But, then, I prefer something with fruit, to be honest.

By now it was already 10.30, so we paid (with the voucher we were paying only for the wine and water – the bill being 23€!)

Overall, I would say that it was nice. For me there was a bit too much going on with the dishes. I’m not a great fish eater and I always prefer simple. This was not the Lamparo. But, to be honest, they did a good job, trying to give us a sample of the things they can do. I prefer my branzino with little else – just steamed or fried.

On a minus note, the waiter spoke so softly that I don’t think I actually heard a single word he said. But, maybe, that was just me. The service, although we waited a long time between courses, was good.

Yes, I would go there again but no, I wouldn’t rush to go there, choosing Lamparo or Baia Chia before it.

Oh, yes, and it’s sponsored by Vivienne Westwood! Who knew that restaurants were sponsored?

On our way back to the car I was informed that French (the language) was very ‘gay’.

Guess who I was with? ;-)

The Lost Leonardo painting – NYT article and update.

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A couple of posts back, I urged you to support or, at least, repost the request for help to discover the lost Leonardo Da Vinci painting, ‘The Battle of Anghiari. Well, hopefully to rediscover it.

Here we have a rather good article in the New York Times about the history and the current situation with the project. Since last week, the funding has doubled in size (possibly as a result of the NYT article) but there is still a long way to go.

Here is the Kickstarter Project which is, apparently, the biggest Kickstarter project of its kind to date. Here you can donate money for ‘things’ promised. Including a personalised tour of the very palace itself.

Do go and have a look. It’s all terribly exciting.

Winning friends and influencing people

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People can be quite stupid, sometimes, in my opinion.

How come people don’t see the whole picture but, instead, see a less positive side?

So, there’s this guy that is unhappy at work because he feels shut out. He isn’t getting the work he expects. He’s managed to fall out with a lot of people and now, unsurprisingly, they don’t want him involved. And so he gets the cold shoulder.

He expects his ‘skills’ to be enough.

Well, I have news for you, mate. Your skills (unless you are the only person in the world with those skills and they are really necessary) are never enough. You also have to be clever at work. You have to cultivate relationships – even with people you may not like. You have to try and understand these people, work WITH them even if you think they are dorks. No one is ever all-powerful, even if you think they are. You have to be a little more ‘furbo’.

But, from the conversation I had with him, it’s too late now. He’s given up and has resorted to complaining and whining.

No good will come of it. It’s time for him to find another job and as fast as possible before he brings down everyone else.

Sometimes, I’m really glad I’m no longer a ‘boss’.

Searching for ‘The Battle of Anghiari’ and your help is required.

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There’s this nice American (but he can’t help where he was born, can he?) guy that I know, living in Milan who is a professional photographer.

He has a project and it’s exciting.

It goes something like this: Leonardo (of the Da Vinci fame) did this huge painting which was regarded as a bit special.

Then, just like changing the wallpaper, they got some guy (Giorgio Vasari) who was paid to paint over it except that, being a bit of a fan of Leo, he probably didn’t just paint over it but rather painted over a wall in front of it.

Another guy (Dr. Maurizio Seracini) reckons that the Leo’s painting will be behind it but cannot get to it.

Dave, the photographer, got involved and there may be a way to ‘see’ it using some special gamma camera.

Although this project has been funded by National Geographic to a great extent, they now need some funding for the camera itself.

And this is where you come in. Please visit the link below and if you like the idea, pledge some money. If not, you can still help by posting it on your blog or on Facebook or passing it onto friends. They have a lot of money to raise before October 10th and it would be so good if it can be done. Any help is gratefully received.

The Search for the Lost Da Vinci is here.

Please help!

My head, my face and what actually comes out of my mouth.

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It is 7.30 a.m. The sign reads 25°C.

I like it a lot although it is pretty humid, especially last night.

And, about last night. We went for a beer, just the two of us. We were chatting and P, my next-door neighbour came into Polpetta. We were chatting. She’s giving up her flat. Her lease runs out and they are increasing the rent – considerably. It’s too much for just one person and times is hard, especially in her line of work. And, so, she’s moving out of Milan, in November. It’s a shame as she is the only one in the building that I speak to.

F asked her about her rent. She does have a really good deal now, for sure. F and I talked about the flat below mine. I have asked about the cost of that flat. They will let me know in September. Then he asked about checking out the one with the terrace that is opposite the courtyard from mine.

And then he said (again) about how he couldn’t live with anyone again. The reason is: what happens when we split up?

I don’t say anything stupid like ‘Well, that’s not going to happen’. That would provoke the response of ‘You never know. Nothing lasts forever’. Instead I say, ‘Yes, I understand what you mean’.

And, I’m not really sure how this happened, but then he said, within the next 10 minutes that, perhaps we could live together and ‘would I want that?’.

My face stays flat. Without emotion. In my head I am screaming that yes, of course that’s what I want. My face says nothing and my mouth says, ‘Well, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about a cleaner’ and then I laugh.

It’s almost as if, if I don’t say what I really want, that’s what I get from him. It’s different to any other relationship I’ve had before.

And now, because I received the anonymous email and then made an unexpected post, last night, I’ve reached post 999.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve written post 1000. I’ll set it to publish whilst I’m away. It gives you, my dear reader, something to look forward to. I hope it doesn’t disappoint and hopefully, the guy won’t manage to get my blog taken down in the meantime but I have backups and, if it does go, it should be back within a couple of days after I come back from my holiday.

Enjoy. E buona vacanza

Words and deeds. Chalk and cheese.

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Just like eating food, here, means that people talk about food, so going on holiday leads to people talking about holidays. Not always this one but future ones.

Sunday. Lunch. It was F’s Dad’s birthday and it reminded me that it was only a year ago when I first met ‘the Family’. In fact, this time last year, we went to the same restaurant, the day after his birthday. For his birthday, the whole family went to a fantastic restaurant on the side of a mountain. The Sunday was a lunch at a restaurant at the beach.

We’re back at the same restaurant. This time it is different. This time I know the people and they know me. There is talk – of holidays. F is suggesting that we could go to Sicily next year. There is talk of his sister coming plus brother-in-law and niece. Apparently, I learn, they have a house down in Sicily too!

I’ve never been to Sicily. I have been told it is a wonderful place. I would very much like to go. He asks if I would like to go and I say ‘yes’.

There is talk about the travel down there – plane, boats and road. I think F wants to take the plane from Milan. His brother-in-law is suggesting ferries. The first leg to Naples and the second to Messina. It’s cheaper that way. Each journey will be about 6 hours, apparently.

It is accepted that I will be there. I like it a lot. Even if S gets mentioned quite often, it’s not said in any way to make me feel uncomfortable (which it doesn’t). Anyway, it seems that barring the detail, next year it will be Sicily in a house I didn’t know about!

Except.

Of course, words are one thing. Deeds are another.

We’re at Polpetta with An, last night. The talk is of holidays. Her parents have a house in Puglia. F says that we will go there next year. I say it would be lovely. Of course it would. I learn that F hasn’t actually been back to Sicily since he was about 12!!!!!! He says it won’t be a real holiday since it would mean having to go round to relatives all the time. And lots of eating. But, since he hasn’t been there since he was 12, I’m thinking that he doesn’t really know. It’s OK anyway. I know these are words. Words are very different from deeds – at least, to him.

We differ a lot.

I empathise with the Sicily problem although, quite obviously, I don’t see this as a problem. I can empathise because I’ve heard it several times before. So when I say ‘Yes, of course’, I mean ‘Yes, of course, I’ve heard this before’. When I say ‘It’s not really a holiday’, I’m repeating what he has already said to me and not because I actually believe it.

So, this year is set. One week in Carrara followed by one week in Umbria – where we went last year.

Next year is only words. It’s OK. Maybe it will be Sicily or maybe Puglia or maybe just Carrara (He’s mentioned that already as it will be much cheaper). To be honest, I don’t really mind, as long as I’m with him.

Oh yes, and last night it is mentioned that we shall be going to Sardinia in May. Or maybe St Tropez. Or some place in the very south of Spain. It’s his friends 50th birthday and she wants to celebrate big time. I wonder when he knew? I wonder why he’s only told me now? Still, words are only words.

The problem with him was ………..

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26/7/11

You know how it is with couples. There’s one that you really like and one that you don’t like so much. OK, that’s not always true but you know what I mean. Of course, if you were the friend of one before the relationship started, then you are bound to like them better, aren’t you? Even if you like them both, of course. Even if you’ve always known them as a couple there’s probably one that you gravitate towards and that one you like better.

It makes me happy to see someone with someone they love and who I like too – but the one you’ve known before is the one that you hope ‘doesn’t get hurt’.

The problem really comes when you really dislike (I hesitate to say ‘hate’) one of the two. Often it can end a ‘beautiful’ friendship.

It’s not the first time it’s been said to me. I suppose everyone makes comparisons and I can’t stop them saying it but I find it interesting.

V wasn’t perfect, obviously; otherwise we’d still be together. Some people say that they didn’t like him directly whilst others say the same thing but in much more diplomatic ways. Sure, he could be ‘difficult’ but I really didn’t realize that so many people thought so. I always thought that he was ‘more liked’ than me – not that it was a competition – just because it was that way. I didn’t have a problem with it. I was, kind of, grateful, to be in his shadow, so to speak.

But now people say that they felt ‘uncomfortable’ with him. That he ‘didn’t really like me’. Things like that. Even if F is ‘the same’ (which he isn’t really but since we’re trying to draw comparisons ……) he is different.

But now I know it wasn’t always so. Some people preferred me, after all. Wow!

I don’t mean that I thought they didn’t like me, I just thought that most people preferred V. V was more gregarious, more chatty, more friendly, etc., etc.

Of course, he was also more false. I knew that but I didn’t want that to be known. And, apart from this blog, I don’t say it to others, even now. Since most of the people who knew him, when we were together, don’t read this blog or read it so infrequently, I can post it here.

But then, these people from the ‘past’ meet F. People like F. He’s quite like V but less false; kinder, somehow; genuine. People like him instantly. They congratulate me on finding someone so nice. It makes me sorry for V but, I suppose, those people that remain friends of V like him too. I’ve never asked them to choose. It’s OK by me. I was with him for a long time and I liked him for many reasons. The things I disliked, eventually, drove us apart but that doesn’t mean that, overall, I didn’t like him.

However, now that people can ‘talk freely’, they say what they thought and still think.

I’m guessing V was right to ‘defriend’ so many people as he did when we split.

In a way, though, it’s a shame that people didn’t see the side that made me fall in love with him and only saw the side that made me fall out of love. Or perhaps it’s me who’s being stupid?

Last Weekend

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Obviously, we’re back online :-)

I’ll be adding posts written in the last few days and here is one:

26/7/11
Well, that was all rather nice. I think they enjoyed it. We didn’t seem to do much except eat and drink and do a little tourist stuff and a bit of shopping and then eat and drink.

My perfect holiday.

We did go to Bagutta, a restaurant in Milan, just behind Via Montenapoleone. We ate in the garden. It wasn’t so hot and there weren’t so many mosquitoes, which was good (although it could have been hotter for me, of course).

The waiter was funny (as in funny, ha ha not funny, strange) but he did bring us fried courgette flowers to start which were delicious. It was the first time that I’ve had them like that. Before they’ve been filled with ricotta cheese or something. I had some culatello (meat – like ham, thinly sliced) with figs. F had prosciutto with figs. I tried some. I should have had that.

I had penne with a ragù sauce (which included peas). We skipped main courses because this was enough! However, I saw that they had raspberries and wild strawberries so I asked for a mix of those with some cream. It was lovely (even if the raspberries were not as tasty as those we had the other week in Cararra.)

We had wine and water and mirto or limoncello at the end. It is expensive, coming to over €270 for the four of us but really nice and the food and service were excellent.

The night before, we had gone to Porca Vacca. F is so taken with that restaurant now that he suggested to An, when we went out for a drink with her on the Sunday night, that we should go this week. So we are going on Wednesday night, apparently.

But the main thing was that D&S enjoyed it – which I think they did.