“And we have to go to Vienna in April. To party and for the funeral.”
“If you want to come”, he adds.
It may seem incongruous – party and funeral in the same sentence but I totally understand. I question only why it is such a long time away. He doesn’t know. I try to explain that, perhaps, rather than a funeral it is a memorial service. He says no but I think this is definitely lost in translation. Surely you can’t have the funeral over a month after the death?
B had asked before that what we were intending to do for Easter. Someone else had asked me before that, during the day. I said, as I had said earlier, that we hadn’t talked about it.
“I might have to go to my parents'”, he says.
As I do, I said “OK”, not asking if I could come but wanting to. I curb my tongue all the time. My head say ‘Don’t Assume Anything’ and so I keep silent.
“You can come, if you like”, he adds. Of course, what I want to say is something like ‘Of course I want to come. Wild horses nor the devil himself couldn’t keep me from coming’.
“That would be nice”, I actually say, “but what about the dogs? Can they come too?”. He thinks about it. “Yes, they can come too”. It will be a family trip 
Of course, it may not happen. I know that. But it’s the thought that’s nice. And, when I told a colleague this morning, she made the comment that I was going to be ‘introduced’ which, of course, I would be. Not as his boyfriend or partner but just as his friend. Just like his ex was, who, I found out when I met S the other week, still sends Christmas cards to them and they still ask after him. But they don’t ‘know’. He’s told me why and that’s OK. I suspect they know but not asking directly means that nothing is confirmed and everyone lives in their cosy world without the need to ‘know’ everything. Hey, this is his family and how he handles it is up to him just as how I handle mine is up to me.
“Was it love at first sight?”, B had asked, earlier still. No, it wasn’t ‘love’. He said that it wasn’t for him. I didn’t think it was but when B had been asking about how we got together, it became a bit of a blur and I could only remember certain things. And, so, I’m reading over the posts I wrote at that time. This blogging thing is really useful :-D.
And, no, it wasn’t ‘love’ at first sight. But it was something. I had forgotten that he didn’t kiss other guys, generally, he had said, and certainly not on the first date. And, yet, he had come over to me and kissed me. He said, last night, that it was after several glasses of wine. Well, a couple maybe. But there must have been something, even for him. I know I was confused as to how I felt (having read my entries) but it quickly developed into knowing the something; of having the Karl Spark.
He is sweet and I adore him. I had texted him with B & my last minute plans for a meal and asked if he could come. I said I would understand if he couldn’t. He phoned me and we were already in the restaurant and on our starter. He said he had just finished work and was tired. I said that I understood and it was no problem but it would be nice if he could come. He said he would come.
I know that he did it for me and for him. For me because he knows how important B is to me and how I always am ready to meet the people he wants me to meet and also for him because I have spoken of B often and he wants to meet my friends. He wants to see N&S before they leave too. As soon as he finishes his trips (next week and the week after), perhaps?
And, yes, it curtailed our (B and my) conversation a bit. But I did so want them to meet.
And then he came back to mine He went to bed and was asleep before I got to bed, as he hasn’t slept well in the last couple of nights. He got up late (10.30) but at least he slept a bit last night even if he did wake up in the night. I woke up at 4 because my alarm went off. Actually, it didn’t go off, messages came through and I had forgotten to change the phone to phone only. And so, partly because of that and partly because the phone light was flashing, warning me that it was on a very low battery, and I always worry about not being woken up by the alarm, I found it difficult to return to sleep and, instead, I watched him and listened to his snoring and loved him even if, because he was too hot and so was I, we didn’t touch. So, because of the snoring, I knew he slept some.
And, this morning, as I left him, he was asleep again, and I kissed him on his forehead and, unusually, he didn’t wake and, instead, we chatted through Facebook when he got up.
And I said that B had said he was lovely and asked about us going to Rome and he was all for it (in the same way that he was all for going to Pallanza) and I said that we would go after Carrara and Vienna and he said OK, that would be good.
And, reading back on my blog entries I realise that, although maybe not love at first sight, it was certainly something and almost at first sight and I realise again that I am so fortunate to have found him.
