Monthly Archives: February 2009

Saying yes and deciding no; sharing – perhaps not

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Saying yes and deciding no sharing perhaps not

I’m an internet person. Italy is not, really, an internet country. I like a lot of what Italy has to offer but there are some things that Italy does not do so well, such as getting things done without a ton of paperwork; roast beef; lamb; sticking to the rules; not sticking to the rules; personal space; etc.

FfI is being so kind and helping me a lot.

She arrives at my home and we look on the internet. We make calls. We call the nice flat and the flat-on-the-perfect-street and some others.

We go for something to eat. We visit flats. We visit the nice flat. There is someone else interested. What seemed quite a big flat is suddenly quite a small flat but I don’t want to lose out and my friend really likes it (she hasn’t seen the flat-on-the-perfect-street yet).

We (I) agree to take it. I have to meet the woman on Monday night to start the contract thing. I suddenly don’t want it at all. It’s too small; it’s too far out of town; it has no character; I can’t picture my furniture in it. In fact, it’s only really redeeming feature is that it is available now (almost) and every fitting is new. But, I question, what if the flat-on-the-perfect-street (which is a bit smaller) is actually not good when I next see it? FfI and I are going on Monday night, just before I meet this woman.

After: FfI thinks it was much smaller and devoid of character as well.

We go to see another flat. In an area I don’t really know so well. The pictures make it look like some sort of penthouse. And, it has a terrace!

It’s tiny and wood everywhere. Although it has large windows the wood everywhere makes it seem dark. It’s awkwardly laid out. The terrace is huge but, obviously not used by the current tenant. There is no oven but he’s going to get a combi-oven. Hmm. I don’t really like him.

The clincher is the dogs. In answer to the question there is no doubt. No. My mind has already removed it from my list, in spite of the terrace, but now it is erased completely.

We decide to go for a pizza but end up at the Mexican. We like the Mexican. The food is superb. It’s Piedra del Sol, near Repubblica. They do great tequila cocktails. Without V being there and wanting more than 1 (or 4 or 5) the meal turned out to be so reasonably priced! We did share a main course as, normally, it is far too much for one and most of it taken home in a doggy bag. It was just right.

Today we went to a very nice flat just off Corso Buenos Aries. Like the one I had agreed to take but much more central and for the same price, more or less. Then to another near to the one I had agreed to take. It’s a definite. It’s too far out. I will call her tomorrow to say I’ve changed my mind.

So now CBA has taken over as the one that is up against the flat-on-the-perfect-street. Tomorrow night we go to see (together) flat-on-the-perfect-street and then another which is on three floors. Personally, I think it’s either CBA or flat-on-the-perfect-street.

Decisions have to be made.

Then, as we’re walking back from the other too-far-out-flat to the American Donut Café (we planned brunch) we pass a block that we both said that we would like to live in, very close to where I live now. There was one for rent. More or less the size of the one I live in now but one less bedroom. So FfI suggested living together >I’m not sure that would be perfect. I think she would get fed up with the dust from the dogs pretty damn quick. Plus she has some habits that, as a lover, I could probably cope with – as just a friend would probably have me killing her within a couple of weeks (or, even, days), even if I do love her to bits!

If it was the right price, it would be nice but…..

We shall see. Enough of looking at flats. I just want to be in somewhere and start getting back to normal even if it is the new normal (whatever that may be).

The perfect flat or the perfect street?

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There is a street, near where we live now, that I have always thought is the nicest street in Milan (apart from the obvious Via della Spiga, etc.).

The street is fairly quiet, not a main thoroughfare; it has some beautiful apartment buildings; it’s close to all the things I like (Sento – the Japanese restaurant; the Imperiale – the Chinese restaurant; K2 – the Tuscan restaurant – oh, they all seem to be restaurants!); it’s very walkable from the city centre; it’s close to the dog walks and the park.

It’s also very expensive. However, I found a flat there that would seem to be big enough (I would make it very cosy), it’s virtually empty (apart from the kitchen) and, having just gone to see it, it would seem perfect.

It would also seem OK for the dogs. It’s on the third floor (same as we are now) and has a lift, which is good, especially as Rufus will struggle with stairs shortly, I think.

It’s old – sort of 30s style and the rooms are big. I love it.

The only question I have is: is it the street (which I have always said I wanted to live on above all others) the thing that makes me like it so much or is it truly the perfect flat for me?

I will take FfI round to view it and maybe I’ll be swayed from it.

Sweating (and acting) like a pig; spring, maybe?; Friday the 13th

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I’m sorry. I’m sure I do not have perfect habits (in fact, I know I have not) but, certain things I do not do in public and, certainly, not in an office I share with my colleagues.

I do not, even if I am hot and sweating, lift my arms up to smell underneath my armpits. I don’t do it once, let alone several times whilst my colleagues, even if they are at their computers and not looking at me directly, cannot help but see me out of the corner of their eyes. Nor would I exclaim at the same time that I was sweating with a slightly disgusted tone to my voice.

Having said that, the weather, today, is rather superb. There is not a cloud in the sky and it is quite warm in the sun although there is a breeze (you probably wouldn’t even notice the breeze in the UK) and the wind is cold. However, it is supposed to continue like this for a few days yet, so that is rather fantastic.

On another subject, for you lot in the UK and the USA, I guess, today is that dreaded day FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH. Here, it has no real meaning and so, although it crosses my mind, fleetingly, it really isn’t something to worry about. Instead, here, the bad day is the 17th. Also, a black cat crossing the road in front of you is unlucky. Now, S, should any of the bad Italian things happen to her, checks with me to see if it is bad in the UK. If not (like the black cat thing) then she chooses to believe the English version. I must admit that I lied, once, to her when she broke a mirror, saying that, in the UK, it did not mean bad luck. It made her happy anyway. It seems some superstitions are the same after all.

The Florist makes Pizza and other slightly crazy things

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We’re deciding where to go for a pizza. We will be driving.

He said, ‘I know a great pizza place in a flower shop’.

I say, incredulously, ‘in a flower shop?’

‘Well,’ he responds, ‘it’s a very big flower shop’.

‘So, more like a garden centre?’ I ask.

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Birthdays are VERY scary…….

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……for they remind you of the years that have passed.

I remember holding A at a party and feeding her curried goat (I’m not convinced that it actually WAS goat but that’s what V’s family called the spicy hot stew) when she was a few weeks old (OK, maybe a few months). Apparently, although I don’t really recall that well, she loved it. She was in a white shawl thing. She was the most beautiful baby I had ever set my eyes upon.

Today, I spoke to her by phone. She was at home but was going in to school later because she has a Drama exam – she is taking her ‘A’ levels! She is 18 today. She has turned into a beautiful woman and still I love her as I did when she was a baby (although then she did not have a Brummie accent then). I am so proud to have known her. Another reason to be grateful to V.

Anyway, I hope you have a very Happy Birthday and I just wish that I could be there to watch you tonight in your Drama practical. I bet you will do well.

xx

On different flats; the Good, the Bad but not the Ugly.

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Yesterday I had written a longish post. But it just didn’t feel right. And I don’t want to turn this blog into some sort of painful car crash thing. And, anyway, that’s not really me. Well, that’s not quite true, it is a part of me but I constantly fight against those crap thoughts and do my very best to find positive things.

I went to see a flat the other night. Newly restored (still wip), it will have all new appliances (better than the current flat, for certain), new floors, newly painted walls and it is only partly furnished so some of my prized pieces of furniture can come with me.

The lady (landlady) was lovely and I think it would work. Just a little further out than I would like but you can’t have everything, I suppose. Still, it’s quite a nice residential area of Milan. I know the area a bit and it’s close to other friends which will be nice. It has some things that are not important but nice like automatic shutters (and it’s on the first floor so they will have to be shut when I am out).

There’s another one, cheaper and bigger, on the fourth floor, but no lift. I wonder how annoying that will become. What will it be like when Rufus finds it difficult to walk up and down the stairs? When I’ve a glass of wine too many? When my knee is hurting? On the plus side, it has a terrace! And it’s coming up to summer. Sipping a beer there on a warm summer evening might be worth the four flights of stairs, maybe?

Let’s look at it first.

A final note is that we are communicating. By email. This is, at the same time, good and bad. The good part is, I would hope, obvious. The bad part is that I could, quite easily, just fall back into the thing without resolving the fundamental issues which, in the long term, would prove fatal. But time is short. However, at least we are friends and it is not turning ugly.

The weekend goes according to plan; the weekend does not go according to plan

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Depending, of course, on the way that you look at it and your frame of mind.

The weather was good, on Sunday. Saturday night was lovely – a meal with friends – maybe a tad too much to drink but, hey, why not?

The rest of the time was looking for flats and recovering. The looking for flats made me both happy and unhappy. Happy because I can get something I can afford that is well big enough; unhappy because it will be just me and the boys.

And, at one point we (and I say ‘we’ as it was me and FfI) went from a beautifully furnished compact but nice place in not-such-a-good area to something that can only be described as a vacated drug den in a place that looked like one of the American Projects – and both for the same price.

The nice flat also had a ‘half lift’. Obviously the building was built without a lift and they managed to fit one in but it was very narrow and you could not get more than 2 people in it- so I did wonder about me and both dogs – it would be a squeeze. However, I could move in there tomorrow and, if nothing else happens this week, I might just do that.

Of course, I would prefer to be hunting with V. However, that is not to be. But, do I get something that is big enough, just in case, like before, after several months apart we just end up back together? I wonder if he thinks of that?

Of course, this time it is different and there is part of me that says that, even if we wanted to be back together, there’s no way we can be. And there’s no way that I should let it happen anyway!

But, another part of me would have it back tomorrow – no, even this moment – even knowing that so many things remain unresolved.

We did manage to communicate over the weekend, which was more than we had for about a month and a half! We spoke about the car; the furniture; flats (our current experiences, what we were looking for, etc.) – but not about the dogs; or us; or our feelings of hurt or anger or passion or, in fact, anything that really matters.