It’s there. Kind of hanging there, in the background. Always there. Making doing other things difficult.

It’s better than it was but, still there. Still like this big, black cloud of crap.

I want rid of it but without repercussions.

It’s not that the task, in itself, is difficult. Well, it IS difficult but, if I really wanted, I could do it in minutes. Instead I wonder what to leave in and what to leave out. We don’t want too much in there, do we?

And, of course, opening cans of worms comes to mind.

And, then there’s the trust element.

So, it’s preying on my mind, making me uncomfortable and unsettled although I don’t let that show, of course.

I’ve done it. But it all sits there waiting. Waiting for me to go “Oh fuck it” or something like that.

I dip in from time to time, refining the contents. Removing something. Adding something. Starting again.

It’s junk, I know, but important junk. But junk nonetheless.

Worthless knick-knacks of a life that has been. But no future is there. Not really. It’s just ties to a past life really and I tend not to like ties. In the past I would cut those ties; remove them. Now, I am mostly indifferent, tending to live my life for the now, for tomorrow.

But, still, it sits there, waiting for me to do something. I know it’s there, even if I can’t see it.

Something will happen and I will either trash it all or accept it as it is.

We shall see.