On being uncomfortable.

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“I’m worried that it will be uncomfortable for them”, he says.

Yes, I can see that he’s worried but I wonder if the ‘uncomfortableness’ won’t really be his.  It isn’t about explaining who I am since no explanation will (probably) be necessary.  No, it’s the fact that I would be there.

“Do what you feel in your heart”, I say.  He feels like I shouldn’t go.  I tell him that that is what he really feels (for he won’t say it). He agrees. “Then I won’t go.  It’s not a problem”.  And it isn’t.  And I understand.  After all, I didn’t go and see V’s parents when we went over to the UK for almost the same reason.  My thought was ‘What do I do with F’.  The choices were to leave him for a few hours (but that was unfair) or take him but I felt that was unfair on both him and them and so I avoided it and didn’t go.

So, I really do understand and I really don’t mind.

So, tonight, he will be going out with them. They want to eat fish. I think he was genuinely unhappy that I wasn’t going to be there. He, at one point, said he would phone S to see what he thought. I’m sure S would have said to take me – but I know that, even then, he would have been concerned.

It makes me think that this was one of the reasons it took so long to go down and see his family. Maybe he thought it would become difficult. As it was, me being on my best behaviour and all, it was all easy. As this would be too – but he has to have the confidence in me that would permit him to take me anywhere and meet anyone. He will learn and it will all be OK in the end and, at the end of the day, however nice they may be, I don’t actually need to meet the ex-parents-in-law :-).

UPDATE: Sometime later in the afternoon.

He’s taken the ‘babies’ for a wash and brush up.  He phones me to tell me that I will be angry with him for they have shaved Rufus’ head (well, his snout, actually).  He is worried.  I say it’s fine but I want pictures.  He doesn’t want to do that.

Then I get an email of photos.

We exchange emails.

Then he says – ‘We are going to a new restaurant tonight – Al Griglia’.  This is with his ex-parents-in-law.  I reply saying that I’m sure it will be nice.  I add; Will I see you tonight before you go or are you coming back to my place?’

He replies that he will bring the babies back home to mine about 6.30 (they are in the office with him), then go and get ready and then I can come to his and we go from there.

I am, a little, surprised.  I thought we had agreed that I wouldn’t be coming.  I say so.  He says no, I am coming too.  It’s difficult to explain that, even though this is all by email, he seems happier about it all – or maybe that’s just my projection.  Or maybe it’s because I really didn’t mind and was so understanding, last night?  Or he has spoken to S?

What is quite funny is that he doesn’t say or ask me directly – just puts in an email that I should come to his place at 8.30 and we would go from there!  He makes me laugh and that’s one of the reasons I love him so.  More exciting than anything else is the new restaurant.  I’ve checked on the Internet and they do fish and meat (yay!).  It seems it is a Sardinian restaurant.  I will let you know.

Nobel Political Prize?

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Liu Xiaobo is, undoubtedly, an amazing man. In spite of being put in prison and suffering, he continues to ‘fight’ against a regime that he feels should be more democratic. This ‘fight’ to get basic human rights, move towards a democracy, etc., is not something new but he is the latest high-profile figure to do so.

His attempts to change the way that China treats it’s dissidents, is admirable. He does so by non-violent means in an ever-increasingly violent world and against a reportedly violent authority.

He should, indeed, be lauded and treated as a hero, as should anyone standing up for the rights and safety of ordinary citizens, especially if they do so in a non-violent way. I wish I had his courage.

And it is important that the rest of the world recognises his attempts and, one day, one hopes, his achievements.

Alfred Nobel, in his will, declared that a Nobel Peace Prize should be awarded “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses”.

Now, although Liu Xiaobo deserves some sort of prize, to me he does not quite fit the profile of a person who should win the Nobel Peace Prize. Only the last part could be said to be fitting but the reason it was awarded to him was, apparently, “for his long and non-violent struggle for fundamental human rights in China”. Again, laudable but not really what the peace prize is for, in my opinion.

The Chinese are outraged and consider that this is a political act. Holding our hands up in horror, I read that it is not the Norwegian government that decides this but, rather, the specially formed Norwegian Nobel Committee. How can the Chinese be so confused?

Maybe they read this!

All the Committee members are or were politicians.

So, not only does it seem that they haven’t picked a person who fits the precise requirements (according to Nobel himself) but, also, they may well have done so, being ex-politicians and all, in full knowledge that this was, in fact, a political act.

A shame really.

La Brace

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And, whilst we’re talking about restaurants and food, I forgot to mention that, whilst we were on holiday, we went to F’s favourite restaurant.

Following a twisty road up the mountainside outside Carrara, one enters Liguria and up and up, to Montemarcello, clinging precariously to the mountainside and a small but perfectly formed restaurant.

Unfortunately, I have forgotten exactly what I had (I had lamb). I remember it was wonderful. F, who doesn’t eat meat, as you know, loves it all the same and has whatever vegetable options they have. The meat is cooked on an open, barbecue-style, wood-heated grill. The meat is first class. the whole meal was wonderful and we had a lovely time.

La Brace is well worth a trip if you’re anywhere near the south of Liguria. And, if it’s warm enough, sit outside under the pergola – a great atmosphere.

No words

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“I really hope we go on and on”, he writes. He has had a wonderful year.

I am annoyed with myself that I didn’t get him a card now.

However, the cardigan was well accepted, so that’s good. And he added that he likes almost everything in Zara, so that’ll be the shop I use. He got me a camera which was lovely.

Saturday night we went to Taverna dell Lampara. Now, first off, I could not find any website in English where there was any review and so the link is only to Google Maps. We’ve been there a few times now and this was our choice since a) it is close to our houses, b) the food is superb and c) the atmosphere was perfect.

Unlike most restaurants in Italy, the lighting is subdued, meaning it is a little more romantic than most. They do fish – almost all fish, so don’t go there thinking there will be any meat. And, book – since they are almost always full. It is only a small restaurant (about 30 covers) and, unusually (compared to Giacomo, for example), the tables are larger and more spaced – meaning you’re not bumping elbows with your next door neighbour as you eat.

The service is quite good but everything is freshly cooked and so, sometimes, you have to wait a little. To start with, their bread is fantastic. Dark crusty bread – almost like a good crusty English loaf. Then they serve you some fish polpetta (meat ball) and some frittata (like a kind of omelete) – only small, just as a kind of sampler, if you like.

I had prawns and leeks as an antipasto, which was truly divine. The leeks just the right amount of flavour, not taking anything from the prawns. F had the usual raw tuna with uncooked fennel, very thinly sliced. We skipped the pasta (prima), as normal. I then had branzino (sea bass) cooked in a greaseproof paper parcel. This is different every time. This time was with slices of potato, olives and capers. It was lovely and cooked to perfection. F had, as usual, the Tuna with a sesame seed crunchy topping. For sweet, F had some chocolate mouse thing and I had some creamy thing with strawberries (I always seem to forget the sweets :-( ).

We had two bottles of Lighea – a white wine that F loves and it is very nice.

At the end of that we paid about €60 a head – however, it should have been more and we’re certain that they didn’t include one of the bottles of wine – even though I heard the young lad tell her that we had two.

So, not cheap but it is beautiful food and, as I mentioned, the atmosphere, with it’s low level lighting makes for a very romantic meal. It is one of the hidden gems of Milan. But you have to book.

Sunday, the actual day, was a nice day. We took the dogs for a shortish walk in the afternoon. F is still not feeling so good and, although it was sunny, it is not so warm now. And then, for most of the day I was cooking.

He brought some anchovies. These we buy from Carrefour and they are delicious. They are not done in some strong vinegar (as seems to be the norm) and, once open, are difficult not to finish. With some fresh crusty bread, they are wonderful.

I had arranged my new table, candles and everything. I had got a really nice couple of bottle of wine from ‘my’ wine shop. I put the remains of the mirto in the freezer.

He arrives whilst I am in the shower. “Oh, you’ve done Lemon Meringue Pie”, he says. Ah, so he’s brought something. No matter.

So, we had the anchovies first. Then I had done Roasted Tomato Soup with croutons and a basil paste. He wasn’t sure about the basil paste. He put a little in the soup but, after trying it, he kept adding more. He liked it! When we had finished the soup, he even got a piece of bread and spread some of the basil paste on it. I tried it and it was nice.

Next there was the sea bass, baked on a bed of pan-fried potatoes with a slightly hot (as it had chilli in it) sauce/filling. He’s not keen on bones but he said it was nice. I also did buttered leeks as a veg. He particularly loved the potatoes and the leeks.

For sweet we had a slice of the pie and a couple of little ramekins filled with different ice creams.

It was all lovely and I think he really enjoyed it all. He knew it had taken some effort and I think he was grateful for that.

I’m considering adding my favourite recipes to this site – just like I add my favourite restaurants. Particularly as some recipes I do are those handed down or that I have found over the years. Hmm, maybe.

Next time, I think I will do the sea bass recipe with fillets rather than whole fish. Less bones would be better, I think. Also, I think I would marinate the sea bass in the sauce – it would give a little more flavour to the sea bass.

Still, all in all, a great success and a lovely weekend.

And really, even if he doesn’t use words so much, I too, hope that we go on and on.

The day before you came. Only 365 days ago.

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I sit here, at the new, old table. It is cold. Not freezing, just not so comfortable.

I have many things to do today. I have a plan. It is, after all, a year (tomorrow night) since we first met. I cannot believe it is a year already and, yet …….. is it only 365 days? It seems like less and more at the same time.

I like having a blog. It reminds me of things that I may have forgotten. For example, this is what I wrote about our meeting, before we met, as I was getting ready – “This one actually seems important but will, in all probability, end up like the rest.”

Well, it didn’t.

And, about the night we met, I wrote “I want this. I want him.”. And, I still do.

And this song came up recently and, although it is a little strange in that it is sung as if it’s not a good thing, for me it explains that there was a time before F and then the time after. So, enjoy, since I think it is one of their greatest songs anyway :-)

More on Facebook Friending

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Today, someone to whom I had made a ‘Friend Request’ on Facebook, accepted. For those of you who know Facebook, this may not seem surprising. However, the ‘Friend Request’ has been sitting in her inbox for about 6 months.

My first thought was: Why now? I know it’s not the first time in the last six months that she has been on Facebook (her ‘feed’ showing up on my home page). Why did it take her six months to decide to accept it since it is only the click of one button to accept or ignore?

I mean to say, I’ve done the same – but only for people who’ve tried to ‘make friends’ when I don’t know who they are!  Usually it’s friends of ‘friends-who-play-games’ and I think it’s only polite if you do some sort of introduction with the request – like: ‘I play Farmville and would be really pleased if you could be my friend and neighbour’ – or, something like that!

It seems strange but I don’t want to ask why.  It seems impertinent, somehow.

Serge Bodulovic updated

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And this was how he looked, more or less……

……

when he burnt a hole in my sofa, covered it up (or tried to), promised me money he owed me and lied about it and then did a runner owing me the money and leaving his rented room a total tip.

See the full story here.

Now it’s been up on the web for a couple of years, he’s trying to get rid of it! Well, Serge, it’s not going away! It may have gone away if you (and previously, your father) hadn’t been such a prick about it!

In the meantime, he’s started a designer label called “Book Club”.  Let’s hope that he’s a little more grown-up now and a) doesn’t treat people with such disrespect and b) doesn’t expect his father to bail him out.  Who knows?

BTW Serge, I wouldn’t have been posting this if you hadn’t tried to get the whole thing closed down.  Prat.

We – so important

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“Don’t worry”, he says, “we’ll sort it out afterwards”.

It’s like music. The sweet sound. It’s the ‘we’ that does it :-)

He likes the table. And the chairs. When I tell him that it cost me €250, he is really impressed.

I tell him that I’m not really happy with the arrangement though. I want him to ‘buy in to’ the flat, since we do spend a lot of time here. It seems that he is ;-)

I don’t have a dream

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Looking on the bright side (as one should), I didn’t have any dreams – good or not.

That’s because I didn’t sleep at all well. And it wasn’t because of me, if you see what I mean. It was because F was feeling a bit poorly. And so, he tossed and turned all night, waking me up (what seemed like) every five minutes. However, looking on the bright side again, he cuddled me a lot more than usual, I think because he felt cold, as one does when one is coming down with a cold. Still, I loved it even if, because of the heat, I couldn’t stand it for long.

Last night, the plan was for him to come to me. The plane was late and got in at about 10. By then I had put up the table, rearranged the furniture (and in the process smashed the glass globe shade of the Saturn lamp – but it’s only a thing and so not really important – and, anyway, as usual, was because of my own stupidity), disassembled the desk and, whilst doing all that, made some pumpkin soup and some tomato soup – which is now in the fridge – to be transferred to the freezer tonight, if I can find the room, that is.

But it was raining – that solid, more-than-heavy, continuous downpour (raining cats and dogs isn’t enough) and he wasn’t feeling well. I took the dogs out and we all got soaked. I texted him and suggested that I come over (without the dogs) and he readily agreed (and, I think, was grateful for the suggestion).

I got there and he was about to take a bath. I sat on the toilet and we chatted whilst he bathed. He is a sexy guy and, at that moment, seemed so beautiful that I wanted to smother him with kisses. We chatted about his trip, about his friend An, with whom he had stayed, about work (his work) and about his time away.

I didn’t tell him about the table, nor the cupboards for the bathroom (which are still in their boxes), nor the smashed lampshade, nor the soup (one of which I will offer him tonight) nor the events of the weekend, nor anything – since I want it all to be a surprise.

He stands in front of the mirror, sucking in his stomach and flexing his muscles and then says that he must do something about it. I tell him he is fine as he is but he won’t have it. I do understand but there are more important things to worry about than that! And, to me, he is fine as he is.

He told me about the change in priorities of his job and how, since they plan to open more shops in this country, he will be travelling around more. On the plus side, he will be doing less of the sales aspect. He seems pleased with the change in priorities and, anyway, this is really his job and the bit he loves, more than the sales.

After he has his lemsip (just in case), we go to bed and he watches a bit of television and we go to sleep – or not.

He texts me this morning saying that I had had a terrible night because of him. I say it was fine. If I don’t he will suggest sleeping apart tonight and I would prefer to be with him, sleep or no sleep.

And, anyway, I don’t have a dream.