Perhaps this will help?

There’s Boy George, who, whilst in prison, has “found himself”. There’s Lola who seems to be in that process. And, then there’s me.

It’s difficult to explain. I’ve said (somewhere, at various times) that this blog is my own process of finding myself but that’s not actually true. I know exactly where I am; exactly what I am. This blog explores some of that and permits me to organise my thinking on it in a more logical way, allowing me to make conclusions and decisions based on what I find. I think it is better defined, not as me looking for myself but, rather, for me looking for a way in which me, as the person I am, can come to terms with the world around me and, also, for this world to realise who I am.

There’s a lot of ‘I’ in that. Perhaps, though, I have it wrong. Perhaps I should be reading the book that Boy George did or perhaps this follow up and, perhaps this is what it’s really all about.

I love the idea of the ‘Pain Body’ – that is (from my understanding), the part of you that holds and keeps safe all the emotional pain throughout your life. This all makes sense. In the same way that you don’t tend to put your hand in a candle flame more than once, you tend to shy away from things that have caused you any emotional pain or stress. As human beings we ‘learn’ through our experiences. But our experiences also hinder us from doing things that, maybe, we should do.

I also, particularly like Echart Tolle’s suggestion that accepting the present is the way forward, for this is what I try to do anyway. In fact, Wiki’s description of the final chapter of A New Earth, seems perfect (for me) as I’m already partly there (although, maybe, only a very tiny part).

‘Tolle’ explains the several ways to finding a more peaceful way to live. There are three stages in the inner consciousness of an individual. The three stages are acceptance, enjoyment, and enthusiasm. Acceptance is when you may not enjoy what you are doing but you have to be able to accept it. This is essentially being able to take responsibility in your life and to take action with certain things that are not enjoyable at all and to find peace within these activities. Enjoyment is the next modality and it is being able to make the present moment a pivotal part of your life. This doesn’t mean that if you want to do something that you will find enjoyment in it. It means that with everything you do that you need to enjoy it in the present; you can’t let the moments pass you by or tell yourself you will enjoy something in the near future. The final modality of the inner consciousness is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm entails that there is a deeper enjoyment in the actions you do and being able to work towards a final goal, with a sense of urgency, but without stress.

Hmm. Perhaps these should be my next two books to read?

I mentioned the blog

It seems that S (F’s ex) wants to meet me.  I joked and said that he wanted to check me out, making sure I was ‘suitable’.  F said that he had only introduced one other guy to S and that was the someone that lasted 6 months.  So I guess F is trying to tell me something.

I mentioned that I had written, before I met him, that, for some reason, the meeting with F seemed more important than the rest [of the meetings] but that I had no idea why [it seemed more nor why I wrote that].  I mentioned the ‘blog’.  That is – this blog.

There was a look on his face that I couldn’t quite discern.  I was ready for the questioning, ready for some surprise or some interest or something.  There was nothing.  It is entirely possible, since this is Italy, that he has no real idea of what I was talking about.

I am sure it will come up again later.

Last night was an English night.  I explained to him, prior to going out that I would be speaking English all night; that I must speak English all night.  I said I would explain later.  I did.

We went to the Imperiale in Via Plinio.  N suggested it and as A wanted to go out too I suggested that he come, which he did.  Great night.  F was, as usual, in great form.  Whilst F & A were talking sometimes, N & I discussed various things.  I told her that I adore him.  Which I do.  Sometimes, when we’re out, I look at him and I am so pleased to be with him that I just want to hug him there and then.  Instead, as usual, I rest my arm on the back of his chair and stroke his back with my thumb; the touching of him being enough to satisfy my for that time, in that public place.  And although our backs were to the rest of the restaurant, I just didn’t care.  Even at one point where I realised this.

Actually, this is almost exactly how I felt when V & I were together and out.

Next week, he will be in Germany all week.  He leaves early on Monday morning.  I have offered to drive them to the airport, of course.  He comes back on Saturday either late afternoon or evening.

I know I will miss him already but, at least, I can try to catch up on my sleep!

Sometimes I can be quite happy

Sometimes_I_can_be_quite_happy

For some very inexplicable reason I feel quite happy today. I have no idea why. Perhaps it is the thought of a 2-week break from work? Perhaps it is the thought of seeing some friends over that period?

Or perhaps it is the car. I know, strange. However, over the next two weeks it is likely that I shall have people to take to places (other than Best Mate) and I thought it might be a good idea if the car was not like some sort of rubbish bin for this. I think V cleaned it once.

Living in a flat, it’s not so easy to clean the car myself and I really don’t like using the ones at the garage (it’s a bit like dentists, doctors, etc. for me), so I needed to get it cleaned by someone else.

Someone recommended a place here, in the town where I work. I went this morning. A rather cute guy, who was the petrol attendant told me that when the guys come in they can do it within about half an hour and it will cost €12.

Really? I asked him three times. He assured me that that was the price and that it included inside and out. I mean, it may not be the best clean but, trust me, after about 2 years, any ‘clean’ will do and, if it’s that cheap, I could do it more often. Say every year :-).

As I was expecting about €40 – €50, perhaps it’s that making me feel happy.

I’m obviously easily pleased.

Edit Apr 2015 – Link removed since it doesn’t work. It was quite funny, apparently.

The Killer Car Wash

The_Killer_Car_Wash

One of the funniest posts TSM has made.  Excerpt below:

As I walk away, I hear screaming coming from the car wash.  I happily ignore it.

Bombshell: “Their car wash is work now”
Me: “I think so, they’re screaming”
Bombshell: “Screaming?”
Me: “Yeah, I think the car wash is killing them.”
Bombshell: “Shame”
Me: “I know”

A luv poim wot u mus reed

A_luv_poim_wot_u_mus_reed

From time to time, to give myself a break or just because I am bored (waiting for things to happen over which I have absolutely zero influence and can do nothing to hurry along), I like to surf the web. And, when I say that, I mean blogs.

There’s something about blogs that I find fascinating (not so with Twitter or Facebook – which we can’t even get to now as it’s been blocked here, at work, and the proxies don’t hack it (it was probably blocked for overuse by one of the people in Purchasing – mentioning no names, of course)). But the Twitter and Facebook things are for another time and another post.

Blogging, however, takes some time and some thought (although you may not think so reading some of my posts, I grant you)

And I do like to see the other blogs to which some of my favourite blogs link to and today it was Cecilieaux .

From there, one of the blogs had this entry with, if the background to the finding of the poem is true, the most delightful poem that you just have to read. If the background (and I don’t know this blogger at all) is not true then although well done, it wouldn’t have the same feel to it for me.

Therefore, I am wishing it were true.  Anyway, enjoy!

Update: April 2015.

Since this was one of the most beautiful things I ever found and, given that many things ‘disappear’ and that the blogger seems to have stopped writing around 2013 (so the blog may disappear at some time), I do hope I don’t cause offence but I repeat the entry here, in hard copy, so that I will always have it.

Love Poem by Eight-Year Old

(A note found on the playground
pinned by wind against the chain-link fence)

From: Daniel A.
To: Meesha

In case you guest
I love you it is a present
to see you.
When I dreem.
I dreem you Not gold
not a cristal pond not a bird
singing evry song
you ever herd jus you
Only. None else

Because I love you
and love to say your name
I saw you
and remember this
Thanks you for a dreem

Who? can take
Your plase

I am very excited.

I am. I am almost unable to control myself with excitement. OK, maybe that’s just a little over the top.

The point is that I quite like the look of my blog. I adapted a theme, I like the colours, etc. [This was the old theme – not the current one you are looking at.]

I have upgraded WordPress (although not to the latest version) and it’s running OK. The big problem is that the theme (the way it looks) does not permit all the fabulous features of the newer versions. So, some things I see on others blogs but cannot have because I cannot have widgets.

To be honest, one day I will get around to modifying the theme to allow for widgets but, until that day happens, I have to look at others’ widgets and gasp in awe and amazement at how simply super they look.

And then there’s tags. I’m not sure when they came on the scene and they sort of passed me by for some time. Then I found a plugin (an addition in WordPress) and found that I could just place it into the page code rather than only have it as a widget! Whoa, yeah!

So now, on the side, a bit further down I have, what’s known as, a TAG CLOUD! Not only is it a tag cloud but it REVOLVES!!!!

Oh, happy day!

[p.s. now I DON’T have it :-D]

Talking about you; Where English words come from; An open window

The number of visitors I get for the ‘new’ (well, it’s not so new, really) blog is higher than the old one (a little). But it’s not that that is the surprise. It’s where the people come from.

Continue reading

WordPress, Photpress, Videos; Visiting Friends; Dino and Rufus; We still have a garden.

Well, now. Moving the site was a tad interesting. I had said before that, maybe, at some time, upgrade my version of WordPress and I found that, in fact, as I moved, I had no choice. It did take a little longer than I had hoped but, at least, it finally worked.

Continue reading

The all-new, singing, dancing Wild, Wild West

Like Second Life, the blogosphere (the world of bloggers) is not real life. It has similarities but is almost like some sort of game to many people. The trouble is that many of the Real-Life people don’t actually know about this Blog-Life. But, it can be compared to the old Wild, Wild West. Laws (and by that I mean the ‘rules of living together’) have yet to be fully defined.

Continue reading