Category Archives: Strange things

How different is Italy and the Italians?

Blah, blah, blah

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There is a person that I really, really dislike.

I would almost go so far as to say “hate” but how can you hate someone you don’t even know?

There are two basic things “wrong” with this person.

1. They live here but, from what they’ve “said”, they hate/dislike so many things, I really don’t know why they are still here. Well, I do know why – it’s because they’re married to an Italian – but, really, why stay?

I don’t like everything here but, as I’ve said, many times, I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I love my life here and the things that suck are few and far between (and, if I don’t try and do anything official, it’s generally pretty fine).

This person complains. Pretty much all the time. And it’s annoying. It seems really difficult for them to see positive things, most of the time.

2. I really dislike it when people allude to “special powers” they have. In this case it’s “links to powerful people”. And, by “powerful people”, I don’t mean the Prime Minister of Italy, nor the local police chief but, rather, the local “mafia”. I remember a guy I once went out with who alluded to being part of the Israeli secret service. It was, of course, a complete load of bollocks – not least because, if he had been, he wouldn’t have gone on about it. Or someone I once employed who tried to convince everyone he had been in the French Foreign Legion. I thought he might make a good salesman but should have trusted my original instincts. He, of course, was lying about everything. And, I mean everything. Including a child that he said wasn’t his and the other women in his life. In the end, he married another employee of mine and I was quite sad about that – for her.

And, so, anyone alluding to some sort of secret connections/job that they “can’t really talk about” but do, really annoys me. I find these people to be, generally, untrustworthy and, so, don’t trust them.

Other than those two things, most of this person’s outpourings are, to be frank, utter bollox. A lot of hot air – or blah, blah, blah containing nothing of interest.

The problem is that I can’t quite bring myself to “get rid of them”. It’s like watching a car crash. Fascinating and hateful at the same time.

But, if I ever met this person, I would want to give them a really good slap in the face so it’s a good job that there is almost no chance of ever meeting them.

Still, I put up with colleagues that I dislike and are really stupid so I’m sure I can put up with this person.

But it’s annoying all the same.

Erm, I’ve just funded a film!

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Yes, I have.

It’s almost like I’m a movie producer or something.

Of course, I didn’t fund it all. In fact, I funded a little bit of it.

You can see the details here (it’s a Kickstarter project).

And there’s a teaser here (well, until midnight tonight)

And the film is called Nina Forever.

I’m very excited :-)

And, I’ll get the DVD and some other stuff.

Sometime towards the end of next year.

This is my second Kickstarter project – unfortunately the last one didn’t make the target amount so nothing happened, which was a great shame. At least this one will happen.

And, as a bonus, it seems like it might be a good film :-)

This morning

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I have mentioned before – if you want to get an official document or get something stamped or signed – it will require at least two visits – maybe, even, three!

So, this morning, as my job required it, I needed to get a couple of copies of my passport and driving licence authenticated.

First by Italy and then by India.

I had everything.

So, the alarm went off. I stuck it on “snooze” but, as usual, got up about a minute later. I am in my usual it’s-too-early-to-function-as-anything-other-than-a-robot” mode. I shave and stuff. I make coffee. Once I have washed up, I start thinking about the getting the final things ready (gum, cigarettes, my tie, etc.)

I think “There’s something important in my bag”.

What is it that’s important? And why would I remember?

Then I remember. It’s the copies of my passport and driving licence which need to be authenticated by Italians and then passed by the Indian Consulate. It’s a work thing. What’s more important is that it means the alarm should not have been set for 6.15 a.m. but more like 8 a.m! Damn!

It’s now 7.15. For a second I think about staying up and then decide that an hour in bed is better than nothing. I go back to bed. F briefly wakes up as I am getting undressed and asks why. I give him the briefest of details.

About 8.15 I get up again. Without the shaving, I do it all again, including the coffee.

I leave the house for the office where, it seems, I may be able to get an Italian to stamp or authenticate my copies.

I get there.

I queue up.

When I get to the counter, I am told I am in the wrong queue. It should, of course, be the longer one.

I join and wait. I note that it will take 3 days for the document to be stamped. Italy cracks me up.

When I get to the counter (this is the counter next to the woman who told me I was in the wrong queue I am told that they can only authenticate my copies once my copies have been stamped as true copies by the commune (local council). WTF?

I walk down to the office that does this stuff.

I arrive and work out where to go.

I get a ticket. I think that IF (and that’s a big IF), I can get this stamped here, then I can try the Indian Consulate, since they only want it stamped by someone …….probably.

I wait for my turn.

And wait.

Eventually, I get to the counter.

It can’t be done. I have (and, of course, now that I think about it, stupidly, because I should have realised) copied my passport and driving licence onto one document. It saves paper and both documents prove that I am me.

But, as they are 2 documents, they have to be on two separate pieces of paper since then they can make separate charges.

I express my disgust at this and say OK I will do something else. He tries to explain something to me. I say it’s OK because I will do something else. Except, probably, I shout this a bit. He starts shouting at me and I just leave. Fuck ‘em. Really, WTF more than the last one!

I had had a bright idea that, since the point was for India to have copies that were authenticated, maybe the British Consulate in Milan could do it. And, at least there, I don’t have to deal with Italian bureaucracy.

I go to the British Consulate.

I am told that, as from the 1st April (so I missed it by 15 days), all this sort of stuff stopped being done by them and was now done by a couple of solicitors. They give me the details. I find that one is the other side of town but the map on my phone doesn’t recognise the name of the street of the other one. I toy with going back to the British Consulate to ask and decide that, as it’s now nearly lunchtime, I should go home and go to work.

At home, I make a cup of tea and check the map on the computer. The street was two minutes from the British Consulate. Grrrr.

I go to work anyway.

I arrive at work to get told that this documentation is no longer required.

So, although my theory of a minimum of two visits was confirmed, at least now I don’t have to do the second lot of visits!

And it was a beautiful day to be walking around.

And I did have an extra 40 minutes snooze this morning.

Finding Nemo

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Today was the day that I decided that enough is enough.

It’s time for me to find what I am here for.

We all reach a point (or points) in life that tell us it’s time to make a change and make things better.

Well, at least make a change.

And that time is here.

So, I’m going back to the original heading for this site. As it originally said, I came here to find passion. Not passion in love (and, anyway, I have that). No, I mean the passion. The one thing that I was sent here (in Milan? In Italy? In the world?) to do.

Lola put this post up and the video she found on Karl’s blog in this post.

It’s not new – at least not to me. It’s what I’ve done more than once. But then, not knowing what I really want to do, I “fall into” something and, for a while it’s fun and enjoyable. And then it isn’t.

The details of the past times will be in another post which I’ve half-written but today was one of those defining moments. Now the time has arrived again and I must do something about it.

I found, today, that there were a load of people who, quite obviously, couldn’t care if they had a job or not; I wasted one a half hours of my life and it really got to me; and I was lied to by a fool. And I say that’s enough.

So many people are such absolute cunts who will never, ever, ever find their bliss but belong to that army of people who just trudge along in life. It’s what I do too when I get sucked in. But, today was a wake-up call.

It’s time, once again, to be a little bit daring, to jump off the cliff and see if I can fly.

So, here I go, trying to find my bliss. Except I don’t like the word bliss. It’s a creepy word. Instead I’ll call it Nemo (for want of anything better).

So, here I go, finding Nemo!

Talking about a revolution

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I suppose it’s not really for me to say anything given that a) I don’t really understand Italian, b) I don’t really understand the politics and c) I never vote (any more) ……

but …….

A bit of background. In the recent elections, the Five Star Movement (M5S) got something around 25% of the vote and were the largest “party” (in terms of votes) but, because of the way that the system works here, they got far less than 25% of the MPs in the parliament.

They were elected on the basis that they would change the system. Removing the corrupt practices (and people); reducing the enormous expenses run up by the parliament and MPs; give the power back to the people. They promised to do certain things like, take a wage cut when they were elected, not form an alliance with another party just to get power (see the Lib Dems in the UK – need I say more?), etc.

Then came the first thing the new parliament had to do. Elect a Speaker. It seems that there was this final run-off between 2 candidates and, at the vote, Fat Pete (Pietro Grasso) won. Now, he could only win with the support of some (maybe even a few) of the M5S MPs. Now, before the vote, it had been agreed that the M5S MPs would submit blank votes (it seems this is a secret vote done by paper) – but the reality was that some, quite obviously, did not submit blank votes.

Beppe Grillo is angry. He wants to find out who the M5S MPs are and expel them from the “party”. Some of the M5S supporters are suggesting that BP is trying to run the “party” exactly like the existing system whereas the M5S MPs were elected to represent the people. The new Speaker is a well-known anti-Mafia campaigner. It is said that the M5S MPs from Sicily were the ones that voted for him, since they have been successful in Sicily because of their anti-Mafia stance.

It is also said that some M5S MPs voted for him to ensure that Schifani (a ultra-right-wing candidate proposed by Berlusconi’s party) didn’t get in.

BP accuses these MPs of having “lied” to the voters.

So, here it is, my opinion (for what it’s worth):

You can’t stop the corruption and the huge expense by working “within the system”. It’s important that this parliament fails (and fails quickly) to enable people to vote again. Having seen how well the M5S has done, more people are likely to vote for them. Now they are seen as a force for change and change is what Italians want (I think). If they get a much bigger vote, they might be able to form a government and actually DO something. Already the MPs have said they will only take a proportion of their salaries – but they cannot change the system to make this compulsory – unless they get control.

If they start trying to work “with the system”, they will, ultimately fail (as have the Lib Dems in the UK) and disappear from view (as will the Lib Dems at the next election).

So, they need to make the parliament fail and quickly.

This is the bigger picture. This is the road to salvation. This is a revolution.

C’mon guys – get with the bigger picture!

p.s. I like the name “Fat Peter”. It makes me smile.


Tracy Chapman – Talking About A Revolution

Like a porn movie

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Well, it was supposed to look something like this:

It didn’t look so bad after he’d done it but the next day it really didn’t come right.

Nor yesterday.

Today seems a bit better. I’ll see how it goes over the next week.

But, it might be the closest I can get, I suppose.

I’ve always found it quite traumatising, having my hair cut. I really don’t know why but I’ve been like this since my early 20s. I know it may sound stupid but I feel it’s somehow invasive. Invasive of my privacy and, in an even weirder way, a little like sex. But without the thrill of having sex. Probably more like starring in a porn movie – or, at least, as if I was starring in a porn movie.

I wonder if anyone else has this problem?

Probably not. In fact, surely not.

So it’s just me then :-(

M5S Manifesto

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Further to my last post, here is the manifesto, in English for the biggest vote-catching party in Italy at the recent elections.

Some of it you (and I) don’t get since it is the repeal of certain laws here.

However, most of it seems just like common sense. Doesn’t mean they could achieve it though.

M5S Plan for Government

In the meantime, there’s talk of another “Technical” government. That will be a whole new disaster, for sure.

And the leader of the left-wing majority coalition (who still need M5S to pass any laws) says he won’t try to win over Beppe Grillo.

And now some people are saying that BP should start talking to them – which, of course, he absolutely should not. His whole point has been that the people currently “in power” are corrupt and are the reason Italy is in bad shape. And he’d be right. If this thing is going to work, they (the M5S) HAVE to stay out of it.

As I’ve always said, for the politicians we have, the only way forward is to get rid of them all and start again – with people who will do it for the good of the population and not for the good of either themselves nor for the good of the bankers or big business.

But I’m not holding my breath.

Italians are NOT crazy and a comedian is NOT in charge.

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I have to say something about it because it’s not just mildly annoying but, rather, very annoying.

A comedian was NOT elected to the Italian Parliament. A comedian did NOT win more votes than any other party. A comedian CANNOT, in any way, be compared to the other person they consider a clown – namely Mr B.

That’s just like saying that Ronald Reagan was an actor when he became President of the USA or Arnold Schwarzenegger was an actor when he was the Governor of California.

There should be a “used to be” somewhere in these headlines and media reports.

For a number of years now, Beppe Grillo has been campaigning against corruption and waste in Italian politics and Parliament. That’s not really a funny thing and nor was he doing it to boost his status as a comedian. Nor, in fact, given his party’s “rules”, can he ever take a seat in the Parliament given that one of the major “rules” is that no MP should have a criminal conviction – of any kind. And as he has a criminal conviction, he won’t be an MP.

From outside Italy, there’s so much misunderstanding about Italy and the way that it works (for good and bad).

For a start, there isn’t a system here like the UK/USA. There aren’t two or three parties. Beppe Grillo’s M5S (5 Star Movement) had the biggest share of the vote in the whole of Italy – 25% – and 75% of people voted (they have a very high turnout in Italy compared to, say, the UK) – this means that, as the biggest party, only 19 people out of every 100 voted for M5S.

It’s hardly a mandate.

And, that’s part of the problem. If his was the biggest party (from the votes) and, yet, less than 20% voted for him, what about the other parties? Well, the other parties are smaller. And there are lots and lots of them. What happens is that the bigger parties form groups with other, smaller parties and hope that they can get through a whole parliament without having to go back to the polls. And this is one of the reasons there have been so many governments since the war. They don’t last very long (in general) because the ties that bind the bigger parties to the smaller parties depend on the smaller parties getting what they want.

So, in reality, at no time has Berlusconi ever been truly elected to Parliament. But, on a number of occasions, he HAS been able to form a government by getting into bed with some smaller parties who, in a broad sense, share his and his party’s views.

The other thing to remember is that this is not really a united country. This is, in fact, a country of regions. And the regions each have their own parties. Take the Lega Nord, for example. They are a Northern Italy party. In fact, one of the things that they really want is to separate North and South Italy. The North is the “powerhouse” of Italy and the South the very much poorer cousins. So, if they want to separate and let North Italy be it’s own country, it will be unsurprising to you that they don’t have anything to do with the South and, therefore, there are no Lega Nord representatives from south of, say, Florence (I don’t actually know how far south they go).

We don’t have the equivalent in the UK but it would be like having the South East Party – who only operate in the South East of England and want London to break away from the rest of the UK. It’s difficult to imagine because they just wouldn’t get enough votes for any of them to become an MP and, if they did manage, they would only get one or 2 MPs at the very most. It is not the same here.

And, because of the way that Italy is, people vote, not for the main person but, rather the local person. Politics is localised. Sure, they know that, by voting for a local person you will end up with one of the bigger politicians but, still, it’s about who you know locally that’s the reason that you vote. And, by being local, I mean almost a neighbour. Or the friend of a friend. Or the friend of a relative. And it’s by word of mouth. M5S changed this generating its support via the Internet. Via websites and Facebook and Twitter – something the bigger parties are only just getting used to (and in to). Beppe Grillo, having been banned from TV for saying some things that the ruling elite didn’t like, had been using the Internet and his website to campaign for years. They just got a bit more serious this time. And it shows.

But let’s look at why 20% of the population voted for the M5S. It wasn’t really against Mr B. It was a vote against the ruling elite (which includes Mr B – as well as ALL the other parties); it was a vote against the corruption, against the excessive number of MPs, their excessive salaries and their enormous pensions (for which they become eligible almost as soon as they step through the Parliament doors), against their expenses (they have hundreds of cars available to them) and against their over-riding desire to make sure that they are OK, even at the cost to the taxpayer.

Of course, it’s not over yet. There’s no overall winner. There’s little likelihood that there will be a government that lasts even a year (even lasting until Summer seems a bit far-fetched) and so, as normal, it will be back to the polls.

I’m not saying, for a moment, that BG and his party are the “saviour” of Italy. Remember Obama? He was going to be the saviour of the USA. Remember Clegg? He was going to control the excesses of the Conservatives. It just doesn’t work like that. Once these people get into power, they find that it’s not so easy to wipe the slate clean and start again. And so, it will probably be for BG and his MPs.

We shall see.

However, what this is NOT is those insane Italians voting for a comedian (as opposed to a buffoon) to lead them. It’s not a joke nor even slightly funny and, if they do manage to get some sort of real power AND they do all that they say they will do (and are seen to be doing in Sicily – i.e. giving back a large part of their salary to lend to small businesses, for example), then there is real hope for Italy to lead the world away from this undemocratic and, frankly, quite disgusting ruling of the plebs by the elite. It’s time that the rest of the world caught up with the Italians.

And, of course, THAT’s exactly what worries the “markets” (aka the banking elites). Now they have control. Give people real freedom and you get something like just happened in Switzerland. Or worse – they get thrown out all together.

It should be good but isn’t really

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Sorry I haven’t been posting or visiting your blogs but I am incredibly busy right now.

In the meantime, I SHOULD HAVE been delighted to receive the following message from LinkedIn:

Andrew, congratulations!

You have one of the top 10% most viewed LinkedIn profiles for 2012 in Italy.
LinkedIn now has 200 million members. Thanks for
playing a unique part in our community!

Except, in my opinion, I don’t get that many viewers of my profile (like 9 in the last 90 days)! And so, if I’m in the top 10% for views, it doesn’t really say much for LinkedIn in Italy.

Hmph!

Oh yes, and Porca Vacca (one of the restaurants I have listed on the right) has changed hands. We shan’t be going back and I’ve downgraded it. It’s a shame.

I’m going crackers for Christmas

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Chatting to an American friend (FfI) over coffee, today, she was telling me how she and her boyfriend watch the cooking channel. They like Jamie Oliver but also watch Nigella Lawson.

And she asked me what the silver tubes were. They had been stacked in a pile and looked really nice, apparently.

And it struck me again how, things we take for granted at Christmas are just our things. I mean, Italians, too, have no idea about them.

I had to explain that, these were Christmas Crackers. At each end the silver paper is pinched and that, two people pull the cracker which makes a small explosive crack. Inside the roll is some sort of item (small – like a toy or something), a joke or something on a piece of paper and a folded, paper hat.

The crackers are pulled before the lunch/dinner and then everyone wears the paper hats and tells the (usually stupid) joke.

It’s a British thing. But I got some shipped from Bowie’s in Hay-on-Wye and they look rather good. We’re going to have ours on Boxing Day when we have some Italian friends come over for lunch. Should be good. :-)

And, below, a picture of a Christmas Cracker:

Christmas Cracker

and a typical Christmas paper hat:

christmas_hat

Whatever special or unique things you have at Christmas, I hope you have a good time.

Another thing I did today was make the mincemeat (which for the uninitiated is not meat at all but, rather, a mix of dried fruits, nuts, sweet spices, etc.) so that, tomorrow, I can make mince pies. I know it’s not Italian but you might have it in the USA.