You’ve got to keep trying and be determined to suceed.

S & I agreed last night, you’ve got to try else what is the point?

So, we are both trying. It may get worse; it may get better; it may stay the same.

For me, it seems the dogs are a bit of a problem but not insurmountable. Come the end of January, I shall ask everyone I know in case they can help me. I don’t often ask for help as I am fiercely independent ever since I first left home at 18.

Actually, that was not the first time I left home. I left home several times. I had a small suitcase, brown and battered. I don’t think I ever had it from new but I have no idea where it came from unless it had been bought new when we went to Guernsey when I was about 5. I can imagine it was bought for that trip.

Anyway, the suitcase had been well used. I packed the suitcase with important items – a pair of trousers, a jumper, some biscuits and some orange squash. After all, I didn’t know how long I would be gone and I knew I would need sustenance and a change of clothes. I packed though the tears were rolling down my face; I packed with determination; I packed with courage – and fear, of course.

I left the house without saying goodbye, more like a thief than someone who lived there. I didn’t want any hysterics at my going – they would find out soon enough. I didn’t want any tears, except my own as I was the one who was hurting, not them.

We lived in the countryside, in a small village. I walked down the driveway and onto the road, turning right. The hill seemed very steep and very long. I don’t remember looking back as I climbed that hill but I probably did, fearing that someone would come after me – hoping that someone would come after me so that I could prove to them that I did not need them.

I reached the top of the hill and must have looked back before turning the corner.

Soon after I came to the crossroads – to the left was the road to the church, the right to the main road, straight on was unknown.

Fearful of the consequences of continuing what I was doing; angry at the world for treating me like this; determined that, one day, ‘it would all be different’, I turned round and went home. I was about 7. I was quite a stubborn barsteward even then!

The mysterious case of the disappearing heater; fancy dress parties; Be afraid, be very afraid (the de Menezes travesty of justice)

On Friday, I went into the smoking room to get warm and have a cigarette. Later, just before lunch, I went in again – the heater had gone and the chairs had been rearranged now that there was vacant space! The heat already in the room from the heater kept the room above freezing for the rest of the day, so better than nothing. Several people have said that, in the New Year we shan’t be able to smoke inside the buildings any more. It will be quite funny to see the MD outside lighting up! We shall see. On the plus side, at least it won’t get so cold in my office as she won’t have the window wide open in hers whilst having a cigarette. So there are advantages to everything, I suppose.

Last night was a fancy dress party. It was held in a friend-of-a-friend’s shop in an area of Milan that, they say, is up-and-coming. She sells designer clothes from lesser-known designers from all over the world.

I absolutely HATE fancy dress parties. I never have a clue as to what to go as and am always genuinely shocked at other people’s ingeniousness and how something so simple can look so good.

As we had less than 2 days notice and it was Friday night (so no time to try and do something special on Saturday), V came up with the idea of going as 70s people. My era. Sadly, we had all the necessary items in our wardrobes including, for me, a pair of real platform shoes that I had worn only once before. They had brought them in as new items in the 80s in Schuh, in Birmingham, hoping for some sort of revival, I guess. Well, it never took off but I kept them as I loved them. Boy, they looked good last night but how my calves suffered! Anyway, it was a cool party and we got back about half one in the morning.

Finally, I had written a long post about the jury’s verdict on the de Menezes case but feel it was far better covered over at Stef’s site. If I lived in the UK now I would be very, very afraid. What kind of future is there when you cannot trust the police to be truthful and themselves uphold the law against murder?

Oh, yes, and it hasn’t stopped bloody raining for days!

Even if it’s unlawful it can’t be declared unlawful.

I am no expert but it seems quite incredible that a jury can be instructed that they cannot return a verdict of unlawful killing because

“All interested persons agree that a verdict of unlawful killing could only be left to you if you could be sure that a specific officer had committed a very serious crime – murder or manslaughter.”

And yet, in the case of Kate Peyton (the journalist shot in Somalia), the coroner was able to give a verdict of just that. Surely the coroner didn’t know the ‘specific person’ that had shot Ms Perry?

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Please, don’t go to sleep on the floor whilst flying.

Swiss, formerly Swiss Air, is an airline I like to fly with. As I was in charge of the booking of our trip to Wolverhampton, I chose not only Swiss to fly with but also the Novotel in Wolverhampton to stay at.

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Cheese and Celery and other rambling

V brought back some strong cheddar cheese from when he went back to the UK recently.

We already had celery in the fridge and, the other night, we had cheese and celery and a nice glass of Nero D’Avola. I had forgotten how good cheddar cheese was.

Next week I am back in Wolverhampton for a couple of days. Unfortunately, with three colleagues, so I won’t be able to visit S nor go and see V’s family (although, on that front, everything is not too bad).

However, I will be able to buy some cheese, and bacon, and sausages and, maybe some other stuff, so there is a bright side. My colleagues have a list of stuff that they want to buy. Maybe I can encourage them to go to Primark too!

V has some sort of internal interview early next week. We don’t know what for, exactly but we are hopeful. Apparently, there were jobs that V has been put up for (secretly, of course, Siamo in Italia) but the language was considered a barrier.

Nothing further on my job front but one can always keep one eye open, just in case. Although, it seems, the only way to make some real money is run the business yourself and I consider that a tad difficult in this Bel Paese.

Something or nothing?

This weekend I was, sort of, half-offered 2 jobs. That’s nice. One of them, unfortunately, I couldn’t take. The other, well, who knows, it’s early days yet.

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A village of outlet shops. Your worst nightmare, yes?

I find shopping easy. For example: I need a jumper. I go to some shops. I walk into a shop, have a look around (10 minutes max.). I see something I like. I look for my size. It’s there. I try it on. (another 10 minutes). I decide if it is worth the money. I buy it (another 10 minutes).

There you go. Half an hour at the very most.

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