Tag Archives: English

The meaning of X; why do I put myself in these situations?

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When I was a kid, we used to write cards (birthday cards and the like) to grandparents, sisters, brothers, etc.  Always it ended with ‘Lots of love X’.  If you were really generous it would be even more ‘x’s.

I had always assumed, like one does, that everyone did this.  Here, quite often, people end with ‘baci’.

More recently, I have stopped using baci but have been putting ‘x’.  It seems that things are not (and it has taken me about 45 years to find this out) quite as I thought and that not everyone uses an x in place of baci.

Not only don’t they use it but they don’t recognise it!  Who knew?

So last night, on the phone, I was asked why the ‘x’ and was it like a signature or something.  So I explained and, in the process, learnt yet another thing that separates us from the Italians, culturally.

So, catching up with friends, as I was last night.  Telling them of the guys and why I was dropping some of them and why others were working (maybe….early days yet).  Now, I spoke to Best Mate the other night.  Told her about the sweet guy.  She was fine.  Another friend was fine…..one friend was not….

It got me to thinking, this is my problem really.  I put myself in situations that other people find hard to take.  But, and here is where the real problem lies, it is my opinion that it is their problem and not mine.  I don’t do the compromise very well.

And so, should I take up with the sweet guy, then I am sure to lose some friends along the way; people who remain ignorant; people who, because it does not seem to have touched them, still think of HIV as something that is a gay plague and that it is the fault of the person who has it and that it can be transferred just by touching, or something equally preposterous!

That’s a shame because, other than this one thing, they are nice people – but I know that I won’t compromise on it.  And that bit is my problem too.

In the meantime, my date for tomorrow (Gordon) returned to Milan from a weekend away.  He is feeling tired.  Hmmm.  This could be the prelude to bailing out for tomorrow night………shame because I found that I had missed our chats online.  Still, it will all be for the best, whatever.  Also, my piano player from Pavia is saying that Sunday will be difficult.  Hmmm.

Still, I still have Varese on Friday night.  And, tonight, hopefully I will see my friend A who I have not seen for a little while…..which will be nice.

Hugs, kisses, lies and sofas

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We hug.  I kiss her on both cheeks.

‘I hate this part’, she says.  I agree.  We hate it for the same reasons.  Being from the UK, hugging, invading one’s personal space – always difficult, always intrusive, always uncomfortable even if comforting.  ‘Let’s just get it over with’, I replied.  And that’s when we hugged.

It isn’t like we don’t want to show how much we care for each other.  We do it twice.  Once when she arrives and then before she goes through the gate.  Not in between, of course.

It’s different with a lover, naturally.  That is more intimate and, therefore, hugging and kissing is possible.  Although we care, we are not lovers and so this is all just a little hard.

‘Thanks so much for coming’, I say for the umpteenth time.  But I am really grateful even if, whilst she was here, I found myself going back into myself.  Still, the weather has cooled now and I am back at work with plenty to do so I can bounce back.

A few days earlier: V phones me.  Will I swap sofas with him?  To damned right I will!  Perfect.  Apparently, even if he has a bigger flat than me, the two-seater will fit better than the three that he has.  And I still get to keep the chair and, maybe, will get the footstool.

‘Someone offered to buy the sofa’, he said, ‘but I didn’t want to split it up’.  It was a strange comment as the suite is split up.  One part not even in Milan right now.  I don’t know what he means.  As I’ve said recently, I am failing to understand most things that people say at the moment.  I don’t ask as the answer may not be good and I don’t want him to lie nor tell the truth as neither will be suitable.

He has the keys to his new apartment and is obviously happy, I can tell by his voice.  I am happy for him.  There may be a tinge of sadness/jealousy/anger but only a tiny little bit.  I am genuinely happy for him.  I hope he can make it all work.

More recently:  I receive an email with the address.

‘I wanted you to be the first to know’, he writes.  Except I know I’m not the first.  This comes back to my previous post.  Better to say nothing than something that is not true.  Was it supposed to make me feel good?

It’s not that it really matters but there really was no need to say anything at all and less to lie.  Some may say it was a white lie, to ensure that my feelings are not hurt, as if I am the most important person in the world to him – which, quite plainly and rightly, I am not.  But, I would rather know the truth or not be told, which would be even better.

Still, we are communicating after all and I know him better than to trust the things he says.  This may not be the communication I was waiting for but it is something.

And, the sofa is welcome as it means a better place to sleep for guests (or me).  There will still be room for everything else, I just have to move one small chair.

And now to work and the other work, both of which need some of my attention.

Not just the British complain about the weather.

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This morning, as I drive to work, it is already 20 degrees! Over an hour earlier, before most people were even awake or, at least, before they were out and about, I was walking the dogs.

It is warm enough not to wear a coat and wear light clothes. I do not quite trust it enough to be wearing sandals but, another week of this and maybe I will.

Two weeks ago the Italians (and I) were complaining that there was too much rain and that it was far too cold. “It’s too cold for May” or “There’s too much rain”, they say (me too!).

Now the Italians (but NOT me) are complaining that it is too hot! “It’s too hot for May”, they say! I say “For me, if it were like this every day I would be very, very happy”.

Or let’s go for a walking or, if it’s terrific rain, let’s not!

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I just can’t get him out of the habit. My friend A will call, as he did on Friday night, and say things like, ‘We were thinking of going for a walking later and would be pleased if you could join us’.

I’m certain that I have corrected him a number of times – but you can’t do it every time, can you?

But it’s the same with our Engineering Manager here. His level of English is very good but there are couple of things that, at this advanced stage, are difficult for him to shake.

>One is the use of ‘or’ and ‘or’. Whereas we use ‘either one thing or the other’ in Italian they actually use ‘o one thing o the other’ – ‘o’ standing for ‘or’.

Unsurprisingly, then, he will use ‘or one thing or the other’. I have corrected it a couple of times but this one is deeply ingrained.

Similarly, his use of the word ‘terrific’. When he uses it he means awful or terrible. This one is, almost, funny because he will start a sentence with something like ‘It will be terrific when something happens….’ and then follows it with the details of why it will, in fact, be close to a disaster! It makes me smile, inwardly. I’m not sure I have corrected him on this one and because he uses it quite often, he might find it ‘terrific’ (using his interpretation) if he knew that all this time he’s been using the wrong word!

Ache = Pain = Cramps

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I’ve been a long time out of the UK. I am sure my English suffers. Certainly I don’t know, nor how to use, the new slang; the current popular words (I can’t tell you what they are as I don’t know them, obviously – but I know they will exist).

But it came to me this morning that, here, at least, I have noticed a change in my use of some words. When I was a kid, we had, as kids do from time to time, stomach ache.

After I had left home and, eventually became (or thought I became) ‘grown up’ the things changed from ache to pain. No longer would one have such a thing as ‘stomach ache’ but rather ‘stomach pain’.

Recently (and perhaps this is because I mix with Canadians, Americans and the like), the term has changed, yet again. Stomach Cramps are the thing to have.

Is this the same in the UK or has this latest change come about because of my mixing with the ‘wrong people’? :-)

Let’s talk about Net; It’s hardly working; Still, ‘no’ won’t come out of my mouth

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You have to sing the title to the tune of “Let’s talk about sex!”, if you see what I mean. At least, that was what was going through my head as I thought of the title.

Firstly, sorry to those of you who couldn’t read my blog yesterday. There was going to be a post but at about 9.30 a.m. or so our time, my blog went off-line. There then followed a slightly bizarre exchange of comments between me and the hosters of this site – 000webhost.

It started off OK. Instead of saying that the website was down, which is what I usually do, because I knew it was something to do with the database, I went for that instead.

They replied that I would have to upgrade if I wanted help with scripts. I didn’t as that wasn’t the problem. But then I had to go into more lengthy explanations as to why it was down.

Eventually, at about 3 in the afternoon they came back with “it will be fixed very shortly”.

By the time I got home and got my creaky, old laptop up and running, it had been about 3 hours. I rated this as a reasonable time to start asking again.

I got the reply that “it can take up to two hours”. Now I know that this is hosted somewhere where English is not a first language and it is completely free, so I feel I have to cut them a bit of slack. And, having taught English as a Second Language, I am aware of the way that something can be miss-said. So, I didn’t go mad but thought that, perhaps, what they really meant was that it might take up to another 2 hours. I responded to clarify my thinking.

It seems I was right. But the reply was a typical, non-mother-tongue-English speaker, using the word hardly instead of hard. It happens a lot here too. The response included the line “Our head admin is hardly working on it”. It makes me laugh every time. At work or with friends I do, gently, correct them. For those of you who are Italian it should read “Our head admin are working hard on it” or, even better, “Our head admin are working very hard on it”; hardly being very little – almost nothing and hard being very much.

So, this is being written at home and I may get it up there tonight but, probably, it will be tomorrow (i.e. Saturday).

So, I apologise for being off-line but that’s life and the hosting people are, overall, one of the best free hosters I’ve come across. I am toying with the idea of paying for it and moving more sites there but I will wait a little longer.

In other news, you’ve probably read about the British arm of Google/You Tube cutting off the supply to premium British content over the wrangling about how much they pay the artists. Now, in my opinion, there are pros and cons for both sides. However, the Music Industry need to get real. If you can’t find it on You Tube, because it’s been blocked, the obvious place to go is one of the more illegal download places – and then the Music Industry lose the money all together. It all seems a bit crazy to me. A little like the Luddites from the past. I realise that someone has to work out a new model but burying your head in the sand is just not the way.

And, as I suspected, I was asked something else – not the same as before (and that question may, even, still be open) – but very, very similar. Of course, I could not refuse but it makes me very, very nervous. And, of course, if I get let down again, this time, it will make things much more difficult in the future but, at least, I shall be more likely to say ‘no’, I guess.

Well, if it all goes horribly wrong then I shall, no doubt, lose my new flat and then I am likely to be very angry. However, all things being equal, I sign up a week on Tuesday and move in on the 15th of next month. I can’t wait! It will be home, at last, in a country that should feel home (and does, when I’m away from it), rather than a place of transience.

Tonight (or last night as you read this) we are off to FfI’s for a supper and drinks. It should be nice.

Update: Up early this morning. Worried about the question asked. The things that need to be done. There’s a lot of reliance on me; a lot of trust that I need to have but is, sadly, lacking. And yet, still I can’t say “no”. Damn!

Talking about you; Where English words come from; An open window

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The number of visitors I get for the ‘new’ (well, it’s not so new, really) blog is higher than the old one (a little). But it’s not that that is the surprise. It’s where the people come from.

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Post 200; Mongolian Barbeque and other food for the weekend; Clowny WILL be a real word!

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Well, first, this is the 200th (published) post!* Considering I have been doing this blog for a number of years, 200 doesn’t seem that much. But it is some sort of milestone, I guess.

My 2nd week back at work and, the weekend just gone was also back to normal, if not busier.

Friday we were supposed to go and see FfI, who had the really bad accident at the end of July. However, she was on new drugs and very groggy so it was rearranged for Saturday. Then, on Saturday morning, A texted to suggest the Mongolian Barbeque restaurant. We agreed. So it was, kind of, apero at FfI’s about 5, then 9.30 we were at the Mongolian Barbeque. What a great place.

We had starters, which were “pick your own”. I chose a few small meatballs with a gravy with some roast potatoes and, incredibly, they tasted just like faggots. Now I really love faggots – you know, Brains – and we can’t get them here, so I was delighted to taste these.

Then we went up, selected our raw meat and then gave it to the cooks to griddle. And it all tasted superb. All this for a fixed price of €18. Great value for money. Even better for Sunday Lunch where the fixed price is €12. It doesn’t include drink but it’s still not bad.

The only thing to remember is that, should you not eat everything on your plate that you have chosen, they make a surcharge of between €5-10! Can’t say I blame them really as it ensures that people don’t just pile their plate and leave a load of stuff to be thrown away. However, this is a bit of a struggle for V who, as normal with free food, takes much more than he needs – and then can’t eat it! So he spent a while trying to convince everyone else to take some. Luckily, there was A – who is more like a human dustbin!!

Anyway, the food was very, very good and the experience of queuing up and watching your food being cooked, is also good. Worth checking out. It’s on Via Monte Nero in Milan, should you choose to go. Do book as it’s very popular.

Sunday was a really nice brunch with N followed by a surprise visit by friends from the UK who were catching flights back today. For the price of a nice Indian meal they stayed with us. And it was great to see them.

V was explaining about Dino to them, with the usual, ‘I never wanted another dog’ and he actually said ‘he does many clowny things!’. Now, I’m not sure why he said it. Nobody picked up on it and I said nothing. Maybe he remembered the word when we played scrabble that time with S & P. The story is that, in order to get a decent score, I made up the word and, although P, in particular, was sure it was a made-up word, no-one challenged me officially for fear of losing a go.

I made a very good explanation of why it was a real word, even though I knew that it probably wasn’t.

Anyway, now that V has said it to others, I’m sure that, in a few years, it will enter the dictionary and become a real word. And, when it does, you will know that I invented it!

It seems a perfect end to my 200th post, don’t you think?

* Unfortunately, not any more. I have deleted some posts since the move here. This is probably somewhere around the 195th post now.

Melon, Parma Ham and…….what?????

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Today, at lunch, I chose to have melon and parma ham. Normally served as an antipasto dish, this was the main course and, as I haven’t had it for years, I decided to give it a try.

Of course, I then had to go hunt for the final, perfect finish to the dish. My co-workers were absolutely horrified. Really! There was that horrible shock/horror moment as they watched me sprinkle black pepper over it.

It seems that this is something never done in Italy but, for me, this dish without it just doesn’t quite hit the spot.

I looked round at everyone and said:

>Well, I am English.

That seemed OK as they think I am quite weird anyway.

So, next time you have parma ham and melon in a restaurant in the UK and the waiter offers black pepper AND if they are Italian why not ask them whether this is normal for an Italian meal in Italy. It would be interesting to hear what they had to say, don’t you think?