Daily Archives: 23 March, 2010

The Show

Posted on by
2

19/03/10

I wish I could feel differently but I can’t. I hate being on customer site. It’s like I have to put on a show – it’s like being on stage and I don’t actually relax at all.

As a result I am tired; exhausted. Even with my colleagues I feel it is a show.

Of course, it doesn’t help that my private life remains so private. But that’s my choice really.

Customers are even worse from that point of view. They talk about their family, their houses, their vacations; I don’t. It’s not because I am fearful of letting something slip because I don’t really care that much, it’s just that it makes it all such hard work.

So I feel more alone and the show becomes a 24 hour thing for however many days it is. Not that most people would care one way or another but, you know ……

Still today is the last day. Tomorrow there is only the flight back and then I am free. I am free and able to be with the man I love and the dogs.

I am so looking forward to that.

Bored

Posted on by
Reply

18/03/10

I am, not to put too fine a point on it, bored to f*?!.

I knew it would be so. I watch the engineers talking and working but am also amazed by the amount of them that are also standing or sitting around doing very little.

We seem to have to wait for everything. Always. I hate being in this situation – where you must wait for someone else to do something. And this is my job now. I can’t actually do anything at all.

Only half a day has gone/passed. So only a quarter through. There has to be more to life than this and, of course, there is. Meanwhile, at least F enjoys his even if he works long hours.