Or let’s go for a walking or, if it’s terrific rain, let’s not!

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I just can’t get him out of the habit. My friend A will call, as he did on Friday night, and say things like, ‘We were thinking of going for a walking later and would be pleased if you could join us’.

I’m certain that I have corrected him a number of times – but you can’t do it every time, can you?

But it’s the same with our Engineering Manager here. His level of English is very good but there are couple of things that, at this advanced stage, are difficult for him to shake.

>One is the use of ‘or’ and ‘or’. Whereas we use ‘either one thing or the other’ in Italian they actually use ‘o one thing o the other’ – ‘o’ standing for ‘or’.

Unsurprisingly, then, he will use ‘or one thing or the other’. I have corrected it a couple of times but this one is deeply ingrained.

Similarly, his use of the word ‘terrific’. When he uses it he means awful or terrible. This one is, almost, funny because he will start a sentence with something like ‘It will be terrific when something happens….’ and then follows it with the details of why it will, in fact, be close to a disaster! It makes me smile, inwardly. I’m not sure I have corrected him on this one and because he uses it quite often, he might find it ‘terrific’ (using his interpretation) if he knew that all this time he’s been using the wrong word!

Mrs Dentist was wrong, apparently.

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Even the dentist agrees that something was definitely wrong.

I should not have been in that> much pain receiving the anaesthetic. And, he doesn’t agree that his wife (for they are husband and wife) is right about the pain being caused by the broken tooth (and I concur with him).

They have phoned S, earlier, to ask if I will go back, after work, for him to have another look. He wants to do an x-ray higher up, to include the jaw bone.

Looking at the new x-ray he decides that the far back one will, unfortunately, have to come out and the next one has a particular problem that was not apparent before.

I go back next Tuesday after the antibiotics have done their thing.

I wish I could say that I was looking forward to it…….

I go to the dentist (and once was enough) – an update from the previous post

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S phones her husband – who owns the dental practice where I now go. I can go in at 12.30.

I arrive. I am lucky (?) to have both dentists at my disposal. I explain what has happened and that I think it is infected (abscess). I need some antibiotics.

They take a look. They see that the tooth has a bit broken off. They think this is the cause of the pain. I try to explain that the tooth broke about 2 or 3 months ago and the pain started happening 2 or 3 days ago. In my mind there was no correlation.

They still think it is a result of the break.

The woman dentist injects my gum and, a few minutes later starts the treatment. The cold air hits my painful bit and I almost jump out of the chair. They think this is strange. They decide to inject the roof of my mouth. At first this is OK. After a few seconds it feels like she is sticking the needle into the painful area without any anesthetic.

I attempt to rise from the chair like she is a magician doing that levitation trick. At the same time, I make garbled shrieks. I have never felt this much pain in a dentist’s chair.

She stops but then says she must continue to sort it out. She continues. I scream. She then blows a little, faint stream of cold air into the area. She asks if it hurts and yes, it bloody well does.  I mean, I know I’m a bloke and we’re not so good with pain, but never, never can I remember so much pain.  She might as well have been sticking a needle into an area of my body that was the most sensitive!

They decide that, maybe, there is some small infection. I have a prescription to get some antibiotics.

I go back on Tuesday. The man dentist says it’s OK to take Synflex whilst taking the antibiotics.

This is a good thing as, on the drive back to work, the pain comes back like it was at 3 this morning. I have taken two more tablets. Almost 2 hours later I find the pain is now almost bearable.

I never did like dentists that much. I like S’s husband – but he is not a dentist, only the owner/dental technician. He made my new teeth and on which he did a fantastic job. I still don’t like actual dentists that much.

I take a trip to the chemist (twice)

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I decide I must go the chemist after all. It’s 3 and I decide to drive, walking will take too long and I can’t use public transport.

I get in the car and start the drive. I know which chemist I am going to. The traffic is light – well, almost non-existent. That is because this is just after 3 in the bloody morning! I got home at midnight with my tooth aching as it has done, on and off, for about 2 days. I know what the problem is – it is infected (again). I had, sort of, hoped it would go away but it hasn’t and now, instead of the pain lasting for an hour or so, it has lasted for several hours and has now woken me up at this ungodly hour.

I am in so much pain (and, being a man, this is tripled or quadrupled, of course) that I cannot do anything. When I got home at midnight the pain was bad. So much so that I texted V to ask if the chemist was till open in Corso Buenos Aires (it used to be an all-night one) and what I should get as I don’t usually do pills so really have no idea.

He says that he thinks the chemist is open and that I should ask for Synflex 550.

So, at just after midnight I trot off to the chemist – to find it no longer did the overnight opening but had a sign to say that it was now open from 8 a.m. To 8 p.m. Damn! I look for the nearest one open at this time from the list they have posted. I know where the nearest one is but it’s just too far to go, I have been out and had a few drinks and I want the pain to stop now.

I phone V. Does he have something? He says that he does but it’s not very strong. I say that that is OK by me. I go to the old flat. He has the pills ready and a glass of water. I take them, gratefully.

I go home. I go to bed. I go to sleep. Then I am up again at three and this time the pain is worse. I cannot stand the dogs who think it is time to go for a walk. I dismiss them and then feel sorry for them because it is not their fault but rather the pain’s.

I leave them to take the drive to the chemist that I am almost certain will be open.

I park, across tram lines, knowing that there will be no trams at this hour. I go to the chemist door. They are not open as such but I am invited, by a sign, to ring the bell. I ring, almost jumping up and down with the pain by now. I wait. This is taking too long. I ring again.

A bleary-eyed man arrives at the door. There is a small metal cover which he can open. He asks what I want. I tell him. Normally, at the chemist, when you ask for this stuff, they question you as to what you want it for; have you ever taken it before; before grudgingly going to get the packet.

He just asks for €10. I guess that, if you’re coming out here at this time to get this you know why you want it and have used it before. I give him 20 through the metal door that he has now opened, slightly.

He goes away. He returns quite quickly. He hands me the box and the change through the metal door. I thank him. It is as much as I can do not to tear open the box there and then and take a whole load of them.

I get in the car and drive back. In the 30 minutes or so that this whole exercise has taken, my parking place has been taken. I curse Italians and Italian drivers in particular. I drive round and find one space in a residential zone. I now live out of the zone for which I have the permit. I don’t care. I need to take the pills. I park, reasoning that between now and 7.15 when I shall leave, there won’t be anyone calling the police to have my car towed away for being parked in a wrong place.

I get back to the flat and once again, cannot greet the dogs who are happy to see me as if I have just got home from work.

I take the pills. I know that they will take effect – but, obviously, not within one second.

I wait for them to take hold. At 4.30 I go back to bed. I don’t really sleep but need to so much.

At 5.45 the alarm goes off and I find that I have slept, thank goodness.

Still, I am grateful for all-night chemists and grateful, in this case, that I live somewhere where it is possible to get to the chemist without having to travel for half an hour.

I am, unsurprisingly, very tired today.

I go to my dentist at 12.30. He will give me antibiotics and everything will be fine within a day, I know. I very much hope that I will be able to sleep tonight.

Finding things and throwing some out; Am I selfish?

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I open a shoe box. It contains many other, smaller boxes. I have assumed for some years, whilst it sat at the back of my wardrobe in the old flat, that it contained, more or less, only cuff-links.

Indeed, most of the stuff there is exactly that. I am surprised and, I must say, delighted to find some boxes which contain gold rings. This was from the ‘gold’ phase. The ‘gold’ phase was before V and lasted for some years with V. Of course, for some years now we have been on the ‘silver’ phase. I look froward to the ‘gold’ phase return and, maybe, I will re-introduce that phase? After all, I have no one to tell me not to.

I also find a card, at the bottom of the box. It is a Christmas card but I cannot tell from what Christmas it was. I suspect a Christmas before Italy, since these cards are impossible to find here, Italians not being into ‘cards for every occasion’ like the English or Americans. The card professes things.

I start to read it but my eyes cannot focus on the words and, in fact, although it was only last night, I cannot remember a single word – except the word ‘love’.

I wonder, now and yesterday, if the words meant anything at the time they were written or whether it was just ‘the right thing to say’? I wonder whether anything really has any meaning from anyone? I even wonder if anything I think or say is real or ‘made-up’ in my head? Sometimes it feels real but does that mean it was or is or is it just in my head?

I throw the card with the other things that I am throwing away. Boxes that contain nothing and that aren’t even nice boxes, plastic bags, etc.

There is a moment of indecision as to whether I should retrieve it. I have kept it this long (but for how long?). But why? I haven’t read it for a number of years and, maybe, never since it was given to me, so why keep it longer?

Why bother to keep it now?

I steel my heart (for it is my heart that tells me to retrieve it and my head is telling me not to) and it gets collected up and thrown out with the rest of the trash of a past life.

‘It’s better this way,’ I tell myself.

Later…. I talk with the dogs since a) they will listen, b) they will not answer back or contradict me or argue with me and c) there is no one else to talk to. For Dino, this talking means that I want to give him attention, so I do, loving him for being there and needing me right now.

This is the fifth post I have written and, probably the only one that I will publish. Sometimes it is hard to write something that is even slightly worthwhile and even the slightly worthwhile ones are dubious. Maybe all of them? But, then, like talking to Dino and Rufus, it’s not for their benefit but mine. Does that make me selfish?

Rufus and Dino update

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Well, we’ve been in our new place for a couple of weeks now. This is the first week that we are on our own and it’s proving to be very pleasant.

To be honest, for the first few days, neither Rufus nor Dino ate a lot. The stress of the move; being unsure of their surroundings, etc. However, now they are back to normal.

Every morning, before most people are awake, we walk up the Perfect Street to the same dog areas that we used to use. Then back down another street (past the back of Sotheby’s and the Dolce & Gabbana offices) and home.

On Tuesdays we see the market stalls being set up as we cross one street.

On Saturdays and Sundays we troupe off down the Perfect Street to go to the big Park, Giardini Pubblici, where we spend an hour or so before, on Saturday, stopping at Free Time café, at the bottom of Corso Buenos Aires, for a pasta dish and a beer (well, obviously, that’s just me, not them – they just ‘hang out’).

Just recently, Dino has taken to playing by himself (in the flat). He used to come to me with a ball or a pull or something, drop it in my lap (eventually) and I would throw it up the hallway. He would, as any other good dog, go fetch it and bring it back. Occasionally, I would keep hold of it and we would have small tug-of-war.

Sometimes Rufus would get involved and they would play tug-of-war together, for a bit, until one of them (usually Rufus) started to bark, when I would stop it.

Here it is no different except this playing by himself thing. To be honest, he had done it a few times in the old flat but here it’s quite often. It happens if I don’t have time to play or, sometimes, when he first gets a toy to play with.

He will throw it – in the air or a foot or two along the floor – and then go chase it down! It’s quite amusing to watch.

And then, sometimes, if I am not giving him enough attention, he will throw it at me!

He is so cute. I will try (to remember?) and get new pictures this weekend to post so you can see what a pretty dog he has grown in to.

They are being (I think) very good in the new flat. No accidents, so far. No chewing (thank goodness Dino seems to grown out of that phase already) and they do like the two balconies. The one from the bedroom lets Dino look at the traffic and the people walking by and the one at the back is cool and allows them to just lie there.

It’s nice to see them so happy.

Primark in Milan? Why not?

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From my glance at the stats every day, I’ve noticed that quite a few people come looking to see if there is a Primark in Milan. The short, easy answer is no, there isn’t. At least, as yet. Although I don’t quite see why Primark haven’t expanded their exposure abroad. Surely, at this time of economic crisis, Primarks would be welcomed all over the world, including Italy?

Alright, as I’ve said before, the quality is not brilliant but, for the price of things, you wouldn’t really expect them to be, would you?

So the material is a little thinner than one would expect, the finishing is not really so good, the amount of time you can wear them is less than for other things – but, hey, they look OK and do a job!

The pair of jeans I bought a couple of years ago will be coming out of the wardrobe very soon (they are summer jeans for work), which means they will be paying for themselves for the third year running! Not bad, really.

As soon as I find that there is a Primark in Milan, I shall, of course, let you all know.  It’s only a matter of time…….

Will this make me gay?

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As a gay person I must be a bit of a disappointment to the rest of the gay community. Indeed, I have been called the straightest of gay men. Many, many years ago, at a place that I worked, we did consulting to a well-known company based in the East of London/Essex. My work colleague was rumoured to be gay by the people we worked with at our customer. He countered this by telling people how wrong they had got it and that he was married with kids (and showing them pictures to prove it) whilst I was the one that was gay! I didn’t bear any grudge but thought it quite funny that so many people had got it so wrong.

Amongst other things, this straight/gay thing means that, for instance, I don’t wear any make-up; don’t really worry about being ‘toned’ (although these days it is a young, straight thing anyway) and never, never put what I call ‘crap’, on my body. ‘Crap’ includes cream – i.e. hand cream/body cream, etc.

However, since about November of last year, when we didn’t have a working washing machine, I had to do a lot of washing by hand. This played havoc with the skin on my hands which, until that point, had been as soft as a baby’s bottom (well, almost). The thing that really frustrated me is, that, my hands never recovered and, even now, parts of them are very rough with dry skin.

So, last night, after several months of putting up with this I had to phone V to ask what handcream he used, whilst I was in the supermarket. And, for the first time, really, I have started using hand cream. I am really hoping it is a temporary measure and that within a month or so, my hands will be back to normal as I am not keen on this new normal at all.

Perhaps, I am becoming a real gay person after all?

Musing?

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I am taking a break from cleaning, whilst also waiting for the Terminally Ill Techno Guy to come (now just to fix my telephone line).

I cleaned and sorted much of the bedroom and then cleaned the lounge and re-arranged everything as to how it should be.

But, I do wonder, who is it for? What real purpose does it serve? Let’s be honest, V was the home maker. He did all the curtains and the fancy stuff that made it a home. I would live without curtains – not because I want to, just because I couldn’t be bothered. And why spend all that money which could be spent on something else?

I mean, for instance, the bedroom really needs a chest of drawers. I know where it should go; I know what it should look like. And, if I got one, it would look good but I probably won’t get one now and, therefore, I will manage – for ever!

But V would have one and, somehow, it would make the bedroom just so much better. I sit here, at the open window, in the perfect flat, knowing that, if V were here, it would be better than perfect.

Strange things with the Internet

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I laughed with Best Mate when I said –

“I bet, as soon as you go, the internet will be up and running”

And, as freaky as it might seem, it turned out to be perfectly true.

I rang Telecom Italia (although the initials TI might be better represented as Terminally Ill) to say that, after two days, my Internet and telephone line were STILL NOT working.

As is normal for the ignorant and unhelpful Telecom Italia operators, I was told that it had been up and running since about 4 p.m. that afternoon.

I insisted that it was still not working. The man agreed that they would send someone out but that it couldn’t be tomorrow (i.e. today) as this was a holiday and it would be Saturday.

I am less than impressed.

So, today, whilst BM was asleep (or at least, resting) I tried everything I could to get it working, to no avail.

After arriving back home after dropping her off at the airport, I thought I would have one last go at connecting. And it worked!

OK, this is not entirely the full story. The full story is that I found it [Edit 2015 – I don’t know what “it” is, I’m sorry] on the floor on the day that it didn’t work. The dogs, who have been sleeping in the bedroom, with me, whilst Best Mate (and also whilst FfI) stayed with me had knocked it off the desk.

So, the reality is that I thumped it a few times before trying to connect.

So now I don’t know whether it was me thumping it or that Terminally Ill did something else.

Who cares? The phone line still isn’t working properly so they can come here anyway. I know that because I tried to use the phone to tell them not to come and it won’t ring out.

I really, really, bloody HATE Terminally Ill!

In the meantime, Best Mate is on her way back home. >I shall miss her being here but know she must go home. I hope to see her again soon but at her place.