I hate travelling.
Well, that’s not really true. The actual travelling I don’t mind so much. I hate the bit where you have (as in this case) half an hour before you get the taxi or whatever. If I were going on my own, I would get a taxi now and go. I would be at the airport early but no matter. However, I have to get a taxi in about half an hour and pick some other people up along the way to the airport. So I am ready (more or less) but have half an hour to spare.
I hate to be late but, in this case, I cannot be early. I hate the thought of missing the plane (even if I don’t actually want to go) and so I am early and ready but am now twiddling my thumbs, so to speak. The kettle is boiling for my last decent warm drink for some days to come.
The weather here has warmed up quite a lot. Now we get highs of 15 or 16 degrees in the afternoon. Where I’m going it will get to 3 degrees, if I am lucky and there might be some snow. I am going, quite obviously, much further north. Regular readers will know that I don’t like ‘cold’. Hmph! Already, I can’t wait to get back.
F is away also so I have had to make other arrangements for the dogs. Not ideal but the best I can do. F is back on Friday night so will stay with the dogs that night. I am back the next day. I miss him a lot but you have no idea how pleasant it is to be with someone who a) loves their job and b) works hard at it. I really have no problem with it, even if I miss him like crazy when he is away.
The night before last, he received some gifts for his birthday (more than 2 months later). Tickets to see Whitney Houston in Milan and a night at a range of hotels in Italy. As he rightly pointed out, I get the benefit too.
One of the things with V was that V would say something but it would never actually transpire. I’ve found that F does the same. It’s not quite the same but annoying all the same. So, the ‘we’re going to Tuscany at Easter’ has turned into him going to Tuscany the week before or something like that. I mean, I don’t mind but I wish he hadn’t said that it was ‘we’ in the beginning. It’s not that he doesn’t keep his word, exactly, it’s just that when the time actually comes, with all the logistics, things change, whereas, if I say something then, for me it is set. Still, I’m learning and at least it is not as bad as V’s specials.
So now we have no specific plans for Easter. It’s only the extra days’ holiday but I intend to take some extra days off and make it longer. I’ve told him but I think I shall have to tell him again. Maybe we can go to Mantova for a day or to the lakes to my friend’s mother’s house. Maybe. It’s all a bit unclear. But I really want to spend some time with him away from our houses, away from Milan, in a way, to force us to spend more time together. See, I’m still worried about the fact that we have nothing in common; that we have done nothing ‘together'; that we’re not building a ‘history’.
Still, there are times when it seems so ‘easy’. He shows me affection (in his way) and I try not to touch him too much, not to annoy him. But, for certain now, the discussion is ‘where we spend the night’ not ‘will we spend the night together’. And it usually revolves around practical things like he wants to see the dogs or the other night when he was getting up early to go to Spain (and therefore it was better to be at his place).
And he still makes me laugh. And I still adore him. And I miss him.
The next few weeks are important (I think). His last relationship lasted 6 months. The guy saying ‘I love you’ very often until one morning, after the ‘I love you’s of the night before said that it was all over. F didn’t understand. So now he is less trustful but I try to show him that I am true and faithful and honest and stick to my word. It’s all I can do but still, I feel, he doesn’t really ‘relax’ into it all. And, of course, nor am I ‘relaxed’ into it all, as you may tell from my posts.
And now I have 15 minutes before I leave and so I leave you, for a few days whilst I go to a place that, for me, might as well be the North Pole!